I flew back from Thailand yesterday, laden with a prize, 3 kg of high quality pork sausages. Pattaya Porkers is the brand name and although expensive in realtive terms, they are first class haram bangers.
Wandering to collect my bag I saw the ominous chalk mark on my case, "Oh no, here we fucking go" were my instant thoughts and - sure enough, I was asked to open the case.
The guys at the X ray machine were OK when they saw the sausages, also accepting the statement that they were "Haram' without any problems.
Trouble came from the corner of my eye, a little brown shirt with a cheesy grin. "Come with me, you have a big problem" - "Here we fucking go" I thought.
After getting told off for not declaring the meat products, telling me that on my declaration form I had lied about the sausages (a criminal offence I may add) he then demanded the Import Duty....
Funny how they all back down when you ask to speak to their commanding officer!
Bastard!
dude, all the way to Thailand and all you bring back is pork sausages?
ReplyDeletedisappointing... very disappointing.
there should've been some ping pong balls at the very least.
Tree, since my mother reads these pages I could tell you the truth but I'd have to kill you afterwards...
ReplyDeletePing Pong Balls, I may post something on this subject later!
I bring all sorts of balls, never ping pong balls though.
ReplyDeleteRima...
ReplyDeleteAre the balls you bring all the time attached to anything?
Dilli...
Obviously your mum doesn't mind the "Here we fucking go" -es that permeate these excellent posts :)
I guess that is the way it goes when you ask to see the next biggest sausage up the chain of command then the sausage you're talking to gets a little flaccid!
Rob:
ReplyDeletehow did you know? not only are them balls attached to something, it's a big mother too! a pain in the ass most of the times. thinking of changing them to a later model but then vintage is all the rage, so im gonna stick with it and see what happens.
I'm glad vintage is in, keeps me appreciated!
ReplyDeleteHey Tree
ReplyDeleteYou need to get to Thailand again
Rima
A set of balls attached to a "Big Mother" gives you a pain in the arse. Maybe you should utilise them slightly differently so to speak.
Dilli
What you need is a small pack of wet wipes (kiddies clean ups) they are magic at removing chalk marks. A friends record is 15 bottles of Vino, after a vanishing chalk mark.
Be discreet.
Cheers GJ
dilli: yes, i love vintage everything. trust me, there are women out there who have very high appreciation for vintage balls. they're like wine, very good if locked up in a cellar until mature enough to dine with. :p
ReplyDeleteGJ: You think I have been using it the wrong way? mm, will go see a professional and consult him on other utilization options.
GJ...great tip on the wet wipes
ReplyDeleteRima, I am passed my "Mature By" date!
vintage penis and pains in asses... god, what is this place???
ReplyDelete