Wednesday 31 December 2008

Police Academy Psych Tests

In a daring move the Jakarta Police Force made 4,700 of their brown shirted (to match the brown envelopes) officers undergo psychological tests to “gauge their ability to endure harsh street conditions in the city.”

Apparently the tests were ordered because members of the public had complained about the “erratic” behaviour of said officers while on duty.

The official line was that “analysis showed that such behaviour may have been caused by harsh working conditions the officers faced on a daily basis, the bad traffic may have put them under a lot of stress," as quoted by kompas.com.

Oh to have been a fly on the wall at these interviews…I have visions of new skills being developed here including: 

Turning a blind eye while receiving a bribe

 Assessing a persons worth in deciding how much the “spot fine” shall be

 Being able to guess how much smoke is belching out of the exhaust pipe and how much to pretend it does not exist 

Pocketing cash while directing traffic through red lights

 The list could go on, however, despite the testing it appears that the need for lunch money continues!

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I've gone all shy now!

On one of my favourite websites there are many talented individuals who can both paint and animate, no topic is to queasy and no holds are barred!

One of the classier exponents of the art of animation is Valin who's blog is linked on the left hand column here.

Just before I left on holiday he let me know of an update he had made and I belatedly looked it up again this morning...

Cracking Stuff and thanks a lot mate!

Warm again!

Sorry, been on a trip to Scotland over Christmas. Not much I can say as my mother reads the shite I post here.

Scotland itself was great, however, you can keep the travelling. The temperature was not in the 30's as one can imagine and I guess my mother's central heating bill may have risen during my stay!

I'll get back up to date shortly, but, in the meantime!

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The trip to Scotland was supposed to be so that my daughter could see real snow, but alas that was not to be. Despite low temperatures there was no precipitation and clear skies lasted throughout most of the stay!

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Have to admit that it was pretty relaxing sitting watching the world go by, keeping the drinks outside also saved loading the fridge up! Beer, Wine, Cider and Irn Bru - Ice Cold on the doorstep!

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Did some of the usual stuff, sightseeing at Stirling Castle being a bit of a treat but the majority of the time I indulged in absolutely "fuck all" ,  mostly due to my daughters constant cold, which as it worked out was probably a good thing after all!

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Despite the full Christmas TV lineup it was more fun watching the wildlife in the back garden, although it has to be said that the squirrel population decreased mainly due to my mothers insistence on trapping and killing them after they damaged the insulation in her loft!

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As it goes with all things, the visit was much too short, but, on the bright side I can honestly say that it was a pleasure to travel on roads with considerate drivers and virtualy zero pollution anywhere.

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It may be nice and warm here, but there are some things it is a joy to get away from every now and then!

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So until the next time I get the chance (probably another three or four years) I'll just sit back here with my happy memories!

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Friday 12 December 2008

Macet Lagi (Literally "Still stuck in Traffic" ) Thanks to my advisor for corrections to my Bahasa Indonesia

No doubt everyone is pissed off at my constant babble regarding the Jakarta Traffic, however, one now has a choice of whether to stay indoors or venture out!

http://www.macetlagi.com/    

This website offers the Jakartan a view of the traffic conditions in real time streaming video.

Unfortunately it is of absolutely no use to me as there are no cameras or feeds for the are that I live in but, nonetheless a nifty little website.

Saturday 29 November 2008

We know what you're downloading - Indo Style

Porn Law or Cyber Crime, I’m not quite sure which one applies here, but, in yet another initiative to curtail pleasure, the Jakarta cops have put yet another proposal forward to eliminate problematic internet use.
In this weeks Jakarta Post this little gem was hidden away, but, if enforced would bring Indonesia one step closer to a “Big Brother” environment.
The article read…
Internet cafes in Jakarta are requested to record their customers' IDs in a guest book to prevent cyber crime, which is on the increase in the city, a police officer said at a cyber crime seminar Saturday.
"Users in Internet cafes use fake usernames when they log in. It gives some cyber criminals a chance to perform cyber crimes," Adj. Sr. Comr. Edy Hartono said, as quoted by kompas.com.
Under the proposed system, Internet cafe owners are required to list and match the data in the guest book with the customers' identification cards.
Now how the fuck are they going to do that with the increasing predominance of free WiFi…
Ho hum, I’m off down to the nearest Internet CafĂ© to download Porn and send scamming letters before they catch me!
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Jailhouse Rock

Forget Indonesian Idol, I’ve got the inside scoop on the road to stardom…Kill People.

Indonesia’s very own gay serial killer, currently standing trial for the murder of 11 people and then dismembering them managed to get a recording contract while in the “nick”
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The album deal, arranged through a mysterious “Mr John” will contain Indonesian Songs and cover versions of tracks by :”The Killers”, Dr. Hook and Slash from Guns ‘n Roses.
 The album is due for release next month,  “I was offered a recording contract by Mr. John and I have signed it,” Ryan was quoted as saying. Who “Mr. John” is was not clear, but Ryan said he has already begun recording and did not give further details.
Now, once again, correct me if I am wrong, I understood gaol was a place for punishment, (OK, he is innocent until proven guilty) but, how the shuddering fuck can you get a recording system inside the penitentiary and “mix them tracks”

As if that was not enough the Ringtone business has picked up here with a song recorded by Imam Samudra (one of the deceased Bali Bombers) shot into the charts as Indonesia’s most popular ringtones.

The track, recorded shortly before his “change of state” was recorded, that’s right; you guessed it – on death row.

The two minute long song is believed to have been recorded on a mobile phone by someone visiting Samudra in prison, a short time before his execution.

Music Video, well, emm, err yes, they have that as well. The song is being shown YouTube with lyrics and picture overlay of graphic images from after the execution.

Cracking stuff, Indonesia strikes again.

Anyway, how does the man in the street view this……

"This ring tone in my phone is my form of honouring them," Fajar Fuckwit from a leading local newspaper.
The idiot carries on…

"The bomber's executions only light up the spirit of others to keep struggling for Islam. Plus the bombers died with a smile on their faces."
With a chorus off..
I am a martyr. 

I am a martyr.
 

My eyes are closed
 

My chest is wounded.”
 
I can really see this one getting to number one!
So guy’s and gal’s, if it’s stardom you want, forget the agents, go for a life of crime, preferably with multiple victims and success can be yours….

Sunday 23 November 2008

Would you like Chips with that sir?

Yup, just when you thought it was safe to take the tinfoil from your head, proof is uncovered that living so close to the equator will scramble ones brains and cause fuckwits to come up with new “ideas” to solve problems…

This time, it’s the Papuan provincial legislative council who wishes to protect people from the “bad Aids”

What are they going to do…MICROCHIP the bastards. (Well, the one’s who still want to fuck anyway)

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Here’s the deal!
1)
The Bill  requires everyone to take HIV/AIDS tests so that preventative measures can be taken early on.
2)
Microchips would be implanted in people living with HIV/AIDS who were deemed to be “aggressive”. (Note, “Aggressive means actively seeking sexual intercourse.)

The 40-article-long bylaw also stipulates that the Papuan Aids Commission executive director should be a physician who understands epidemiology, the roles of religious institutions and audit the accreditation of NGOs working in the field of HIV/AIDS. Seems to me they missed out anything about Human Rights.

The number of people living with HIV/AIDS in Papua is increasing, with 319 new cases reported so far this year as of October, taking the total to 4,114 reported cases, another statistic gives a figure of 47% of Indonesia’s HIV/AIDs victims are in Papua.

How this has arisen is another matter entirely, bearing in mind that until very recently this area was home to head hunters, cannibals, tree dwellers and a myriad of spirits which maintained the balances of life. (Or so I am reliably informed)

Late last century, Miners, Loggers, Drillers and exploiters of all varieties descended into Papua’s interior over the years and did exactly the same as the Western civilisations did during their colonisation’s of old…extracted wealth and left disease in it’s place.

Seems to me that education rather than microchips may be the better solution…


Edit: For clarity I would like to point out that the last sentence was aimed at the Legislators, suggesting that they required education, not the victims! Thank you anonymous for bringing this to my attention...now if you could also clean my Luaks cage......
 

Tuesday 11 November 2008

Tackling Conservation the Indo Way (or how to make some money on the side)


In today’s on-line edition of Tempo, an interesting little story appeared which both amused and confused me at the same time…

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Apparently, in an attempt to help save some of the species which are  at risk in Indonesia, there is a plan to rent them out in an attempt to have them reproduce and, theoretically be released back into the wild in greater numbers…

The story reads:

The government has yet to come up with a price list and species of animals that could be leased out. The lease will require a deposit as collateral. However, the government stressed that the animals to be leased out will not be newly captured animals. 
“There is no list of the animals, nor a price list. We suggest this first step to see whether the idea would be accepted,” Tonny Suhartono told Tempo yesterday. Suhartono is director of the Biodiversity Conservation Center.
Darori, Forest Protection and Natural Conservation director-general, had previously suggested that people should be allowed to care for protected animals. The idea came to him when he saw how an almost-extinct Jalak bird, native to Bali, was kept in a protected environment to allow it to reproduce.
However, a significant deposit, like Rp 1 billion, would be required to obtain the right to care for a tiger.

Now, correct me if I am wrong, the minimum investment for this Noah’s Ark adventure would be a deposit for two animals, in the case of tigers – two billion Rupiah (US $2.2 million) and then keep them for a couple of years until the cubs have been weaned, which would then presumably mean the cubs could be leased out…

What a wheeze, who needs to worry about collecting income taxes when this goldmine is sitting on the doorstep.

I better be very low key about this as the authorities would no doubt be chasing me for my deposit on the family of civet cats , known locally as “musang” who live in my roof. 

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Ah, Indonesia, never a dull moment!

Sunday 9 November 2008

Scalping - Indo style...

As an expat living in Indonesia, there are always documents needing renewal, Residence Visa’s, Police ID Cards, Work Permits, Multi Entry Permits, the list can be endless dependant upon exactly what your legal position is here.

Indonesians also have similar problems, but the Jakarta Post decided to highlight the short cuts to the tedious process in one of the government departments, the Passport Office.

Within the expat business community we are often obliged to sub-contract these processes in order to ensure that the employee is not required to undergo the hours in a queue and some of the more complex “subtleties”  (BRIBES) involved in processing documents.

I’ll publish the article in its whole, I think it provides an insight into how far into the system that corruption has spread and also, how much that this corruption is taken for granted by the populace.

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Scalpers offer express lane to passport processing

People swarmed the East Jakarta Immigration office, jostling in and out of different rooms just to get a small yet important gateway book, the passport.

Anyone can get a passport simply by standing in line for hours and purchasing a Rp 5,000 (50 U.S. cents) application form, filling it in and then submitting it with all the required documents, including family data, identity card, birth certificate and diplomas.

Three days later one comes back, pays the standard Rp 270,000 passport fee before being photographed, fingerprinted and interviewed. This takes a few more hours.

"After completing these procedures, your passport will be done in five days to one week," an official in a light brown uniform at information said recently.

Or you can contact Kiki or one of the other many neatly dressed men and women who merge with the crowd at the immigration office offering their services to passport applicants. They are the scalpers, the middle-men or women who haunt the immigration office almost every day, trying to convince applicants to use their services.

"I can arrange your passport, but there is a price to pay. It is just like buying a train ticket. There are VIP, business and economy classes," said Kiki, a forty-year-old woman with a serious stare.

She then stated her rates. For Rp 1.5 million, the passport is printed and done in one day, for Rp 700,000, it takes two days, and for Rp 500,000, it is done in five days.

"It's all in the game. We give some money to certain officials at certain desks to facilitate the passport arrangements, so by giving more, it will be done more quickly," said Imam, another scalper.

He added that if someone arranged for their passport and did not submit all the required documents, the application might be rejected by the immigration office. On the other hand, if someone who lacked documents arranged for the passport through a scalper, he could get it with the help of insiders, no problem.

"You don't even need to queue for hours and go through the hassle. All you need to do is to agree with the price, hand me some documents, and I'll call you to do the interview, photographs and fingerprinting sessions," he said.

Although arranging passports through scalpers is more expensive, some people still use this kind of service. In a small restaurant right beside the office, a young woman haggles with a scalper.

"Can you trim down the price you've offered? It is too expensive for me," said the young woman.

"I don't think so MBak, Rp 450,000 is the final offer," said the male scalper the man.

Another applicant, April, a middle-aged business woman wanting to renew her expired passport, said, "I prefer paying them because I don't want to queue all day long, be fussed over and slowed down by bureaucracy at the immigration office.

"I'm a very busy person, I don't have time for that. I need my passport done quickly."

Santo, who needed his passport immediately because he had to go abroad in three days, had a similar opinion.

"The immigration office said my passport would be done in five to six days. I thought I could bypass the process by using a scalper. See, I have had my passport done today," he said while showing off his new passport. 


It's on a daily basis that I hear about the cost of Driving Licences, Visa (Kitas) Renewal, every permit under the sun renewal, getting the Electricity Company to visit the house to fix a problem, car registration, emission testing, in fact anything that requires either a state run company or a government organisation to become involved requires some financial assistance.

The latest round of media attention revolved around the execution of the Bali Bombers, with most Indonesians becoming increasingly bored with the non stop updates from the TV stations and the Press on what exactly was happening during their time on death row. In addition, the letters and call to "Jihad" issued from within the prison walls was facilitated, it is assumed, by Prison Officers who were supplementing their incomes.

Where does it all stop?  

There is a famous anecdote that on an American Presidents Desk there was a sign which stated "The Buck Stops Here".

Within Indonesia, similar signs possibly exist and that every bureaucrat has one that says "Starts"

Saturday 8 November 2008

Chop, Chop, Chop, Snip!

A good friend of mine (whom I do not see often enough) lives in Bali with his beautiful wife. The two of them are great company and he has one of the strangest sense of humour that I have ever encountered.
Their relationship has been rocky, not anything to do with themselves, more interference from his wife's family and their reluctance to admit him into it.
He has a barcode tattooed on the back of his neck, a strange propensitiy for every thing that can go wrong going wrong and a smile that breaks even the darkest gloom!
Here's what happened to him this week in preparation for his upcoming second wedding (the Islamic one) where it looks like the family may finally acept the fact that thay are in love!  

Look's like it will be a cracking wedding! Also, knowing John he probably got the wrong procedure......

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I must admit, I've been debating whether or not to write about this. It's not an easy topic to discuss at the best of time, and it would be fair to say it's something of a sensitive subject (I'd say 'ha ha' at this point, but I'm really not in the mood).

You see, on Wednesday I got circumcised.


OK, by this point anyone that really doesn't want to know will have stopped, left the room and is probably concentrating very hard on something - like by doing weights and such.

The reasons are obvious. 1, my wife is a Muslim, and as part of getting married to her I have to undergo a few changes. 2, I live in Bali which is a really hot country, and for hygiene it's a rather good idea. No one wants to talk to someone with that kind of itch.

So the appointment was made for 10 am. I canceled my private classes for the day, and sat down to have a really good thing about something else for the 2 weeks leading up to the big event.

The day arrives, and Tia gives them a call to confirm.

"Hi, I'm ringing to advise that Pak John is still coming in for his 10 o'clock appointment"
"Who? We don't have anything down here."
"Why not? You were the guys that gave us the time!"
"Erm, sorry. We can squeeze you in at 12?"

So I have an extra 2 hours to wait. I'm trying not to think about the whole situation as you might expect, and a delay at this point is not something I'm pleased about. Finally the time comes and we get into a taxi. 
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We drive for a bout 10 minutes, and then turn down a little side road and pull up outside a house. A house - not a clinic, but an actual house. This is when I really start to worry. It's exactly the kind of little side of the road Doctor that you see all over Indonesia's cities. Just somebody's garage, usually.

My mind is awash with a plethora of images. I expect to be taken off by some guy that looks like a grubby, short-sighted Gandhi, and led into a darkened garage. Coils of hose pipes litter the floor, and there are small piles of screws and nails and metal scratchings over any available surface. 
Rusty power tools come to mind, and then I see them too sitting off in one heavily stained corner of the room. There's an arid smell to the air, and it's so thick that I can taste it. Then I notice an area that has been hastily cleared, and an old, well-used wooden chopping board. It's stained. It looks like someone was cutting some fresh steak on it, but then forgot to clean up for several weeks. 
That doesn't bother me so much as the rusty steak knife that's lodged in it. The knife changes as I look at it, the image varying as my fear conjures up even more original and exciting method of torture. There's a clever, and then a katana; even a circular saw at one point. 
But my imagination finally settles on a rather brutal looking machete. All of these are rusty, of course. Just underneath the edge of the table is a small pile of what I can only describe a distressingly organic 'scraps'. Gandhi tells me not to worry. "I be doing this 80 years long Pak John" he says, whilst looking me directly in the right ear. 
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My eye is drawn to movement. In another corner of the room is a pile of...something, underneath a tarpaulin. There's something sticking out of it. Something familiar. What is...is it..is that..? Is that someone's elbow? "Very high rate success" Gandhi says. What does that mean? I look over at him and without realising it, point to the tarpaulin. So looks confused, and then shrugs saying "Not worry Pak John. 3 times is charming, yes?".

I'm shaken out of my meandering by my wife, who's getting bored of waiting.

"What's up?"
"They have a powercut. So we're waiting" (I'm thinking that a machete doesn't need power)
"So what now?"
"They're going to take us to the clinic to do it"

Well, thank God and sonny Jesus for that, thinks I! No more machetes. It'll be the laser, like it was meant to be. Yes, that'll put me off ever watch Goldfinger again, but at least it 'sounds' modern and hygienic!

So we wait a bit more. There's not much to do, so I glance over to the Indonesian language newspaper of the table, despite being unable to read Indonesian. Practice makes perfect right? 
And I need something else to think about. 
The Radar Bali, it's called, but I soon stop when I realise that it's choc full of words with 'c', 'o' and 'k', roughly in that order. The last think I need to be reminded off. So instead, I close my mind to everything, and just think of nothing.

The sound of a clock gently ticking has always been a comfort to me. I've often suspected that it's because of the sound. To me, it's always sounded like an axe. As a child I found this a comfort. My Dad is a tree surgeon, so the sound of an axe hitting wood reminded me of him. Possibly. Well, whatever, I like the sound.

chop.

chop.

Chop.

Chop!

CHOP!

CHOP!!

CHOP!!!

CHOP!!!!!

Argh! Suddenly I'm not so comfortable. MUST THE WHOLE WORLD TAUNT ME!?! Finally the guy comes to take us to the clinic. Another quick 10 minute drive to the clinic. The clinic doesn't have a/c, and I've just spent an hour in a house with no power in 30+ degree heat, on a day when sweating is inevitable. 
So we can't do it there then. No matter! We'll do it at home on the bed! Lovely. And I can watch a DVD while we do it. Deep Joy.

We get back home, and I'm told to lie on the bed. Tia is now asking (repeatedly) "Do you want me to stay? I can stay if you want me to. I can go if you want me to". She end's up staying. There are two doctors here to help. "You can put on a DVD to help you relax" one says TO TIA!

Out comes the anesthetic. Down go the shorts and pants.

"Oh! You haven't shaved."
D'oh!
"It's OK, you can do it afterwards"

Brace yourself John. Here comes the injection. Que three injections - not as bad as I expected. I knew it wouldn't be. Happily, the psychological trauma that leads up to the event more than makes up for it. There are three injections, mind. And then comes what I can only describe as the "rubbing". To get it all into my system. At least, I hope to Christ that's why he did it!

I feel strange. There's a strange whining, ringing sound in my ears, and every thing starts to look a little faded; edges of objects in the room have gone blurry. I feel a little dizzy. And then my heart...explodes. It feels like the time I drank 5 red bulls in a row. It's like a crazed, homicidal manic that's been locked up in HMP Belmarsh for 30 years desperately trying to break free through my rib cage. In short, I feel shit.

"The anesthetic should have made you feel a little funny" says Doc 1.
Thanks for the head's up. 'Should have'? You couldn't have told me before it happened?
"It should feel OK after 3-5 minutes".
Indeed it does.

I get a second round of injections which "shouldn't hurt as much as the first round". LIES!! It's still no worse than an inoculation, but still. After another 15 minutes of acute 'rubbing' it's time to get down to it.

Que a deep sense of dread.

Out come the clamp, which look rather like the long nose pliers my Dad used to use when fishing. Everything is moved into place.

"Do you want to watch? You only get the chance to see this once" asks Doc 2. That's fine and all, but once may be too much. I do look though, because I'm cursed with curiosity. Looking at the clamps I think - and may have said - "that should hurt". Out come the scissors.

"Hang on, what about the lasers?"

That's just the name of this method. There aren't really any lasers"

False advertising, surely?

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...
...
snip

And I swear, it was the most unusual mixture of feelings. Horror; fear; sadness; the ever-present curiosity; surprise at the lack of pain. They're all there for the trip. And then the scissors go down. Just that one tiny snip? Something's missing...

My Mum loves her arts and crafts. Every year we get birthday and Christmas card which are hand made - and I must admit, very well. She has this really odd tool for cutting polystyrene.Essentially, it's a bit of fuse wire that's connected to a 9v battery. It heat's the wire, and then you can use the wire to cut the polystyrene.

Now imagine the same thing, but connected to the mains. This is what is known as a 'laser' in the exciting world of 'having a bit of your willy cut off'.

I don't know if you've ever smelt burning flesh, unless there's a large percentage of anomalous Vietnam veterans among my readership, but it's not pleasant. When you know where the burning flesh is, and it's something 'close' to you, it's a whole lot worse - believe me.

Guy Ritchie's Snatch is loaded and started.

And then it was off. Tia asks if she can keep it, and thankfully is told '"no" (this doesn't stop her trying to tell me that she's put it on my pizza later). And then I'm stitched up which takes another hour.

All in all, the whole process took 90 minutes - not the 30 minutes I was promised. The anesthetic lasted for another 4 hours, and then it started to ache, and then just feel sore. Wearing trousers is about as fun as stabbing yourself in the eye with a pencil.

I'm told it'll take 5 days or so to heal. During this time, I have to put up with something that looks like Frankenstein's monster in my trousers.

The things we do for love, eh? I hope Tia is satisfied.

Thank you for sharing that with us ...... Note to self, never eat Pizza with John and Tia!

Thursday 6 November 2008

It's Porn Jim, but not as we know it!

Indonesia has passed its new Porn Laws, despite the fact that existing laws were already in place in a move to placate the growing Islamic concern regarding what is on the TV and lying on the beaches of Bali.

What's all the fuss about, here's the condensed version!

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Chapter 1:

Definitions

1. Pornography is sexual material that is made by humans by form of picture, sketch, illustration, photo, writings, vocalizations, sounds, moving picture, animations, cartoon, rhymes/poems/prose/verse, lewd sexual gestures (straddling, blowing kisses, miming oral sex), eurythmics or lewdness deliberately disguised as double entrendre communications - communicated or transmitted via media communications and/or public shows/exhibits/performances that arouses sexual propensities/desires/longings  and/or contravenes community ethics/decency/ morality 

Well that's me buggered! 

2. Porn services are defined as the genus of porn services prepare for people, peoples or corporations/business entities that show/exhibit/preview/display directly, via cable television, terrestrial tv, radio, telephone, Internet, and other communications along with written/published documentations as newspapers, magazines and other printed materials.

That's the computer out of the window now!

3. Every person is defined herein as a person, people or corporations that are subordinate to the law, as embodied by law as well as or in spite of not being represented by law.

This means politicians and policemen are exempt

4. Children are defined herein as those aged below 18 years of age.

No issues there!

5. Government or State is defined as the Central Government as lead by President of Republik Indonesia as held by the National Government of Republik Indonesia as defined by Common Law/regulations of Constitution 1945.

See 3 above!


6. Regional Government is defined as the Governor, District Chief, or Mayor and the Regional Government apparatus and complex.

See 3 above.

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SECTION 2:Basis and Prohibitions

The Foundation of Pornography Regulations is based on the God the Supreme Almighty, admiration and respect of the dignity and worth of humans, diversity, the Rule of Law, non-discrimination and protection of Citizens/Civilians of the State 

See 1 above.


Section 3: Purpose of Porn Rules:

a:To shape, protect and maintain Social Order of the Community add Community Ethics, Supremacy of Privacy, the priceless value of God, and admiration and respect of the dignity and worth of humans
b. To cultivate and instruct a moral and ethic Community
c. Construct by Necessity Laws for the Protections of the Civilian from Pornography, most especially Children and Women
and
d.
Guard against porn and commercialization of sex within the Community

Thats 1/2 of Jalan Faletehan and complete blocks in North Jakarta out of business!


Chapter 2: 

Prohibitions 

Section 4:1
Every person is forbidden to manufacture, fabricate, commercial quantity duplicate, reduplicate, spread about/distribute, broadcast, importation, exportation, make for sale, trade in, lease/rent, prepare/make available or store/lay-away PORN which has the following
traits:
e- coital acts, foreplay and sexual diversions pertaining to coitus f- sexual violence
g- masturbation or onanism
h- nudity or illusions/allusions to nudity
i genitalia

That's Mannga Dua, Ambassador, Ratu Plaza and numerous other malls out of business! 


2: Every person is forbidden to set aside/prepare porn which:
a- depicts explicit nudity or illusions of nudity
b- depicts explicit genitalia
c- exploitational or pedantic allusions to sexual activities
d make or advertise in sense of commercialized publications in spite of no
relation to sex 

That's 1/2 of the alternative newsheets in Jakarta out of business 

Section 5:
Every person is forbidden to borrow, or “pick fruit” as per Sec 4, subsec 1

That's the orchard in the back garden gone!

Section 6:
Every person is forbidden to [sic implication of public act of] listening, watching/viewing, utilising/exploiting/employing, possessing, or store away/have in storage Porn as defined by 4:1,
EXCEPT from those bestowed with Authority or Regulations.

See 3 above!

Section 7:
Every Person is Forbidden to ease or facilitate deeds as defined/pertaining to 4


Section 8
Every Person is Forbidden to be an object or model be an object of Porn

Section 9
Every Person is Forbidden to make another person an object or model be an object of Porn

Section 10:
Every person is forbidden to view [sic implication publicly or in public place] personally or exhibit/perform in the general public nude depictions, exploitations of sex, coital acts, or other that alludes to Porn [sic as per definition of Section 4].

Section 11:
Every person is forbidden to engage/involve/invoke/entangle children in activities or objects pertaining to that as defined by any single one or combination of Sections 4-6, 8-10.

And so it goes on...until we reach here....

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21
Actions Concerning the Community
The Community has a role to play within the scope of the precautionary execution measures concerning generation of, distribution of, and utilization of Porn

22
Actions Concerning the Community as pertaining to Section 21, in the execution of in the style of:
a
Report Infringements or violations of these Regulations
b
execution of Suitor Liaisons to the Court
c
Execution of the “socialisation” of rules, regulations which regulate Porn
d
execute constructions of behalf f the Commubntiy that warn of the dangers and impact of Porn

That's the scary bit. 

Essentially broad interpretation on the last section has been seen as allowing vigilante groups free to roam the countryside, peeking through ones curtains and, if they see a bit of flesh, have you arrested. 

I fear many young Indonesian ladies, in shopping malls will most likely be among the first targets as they seem to enjoy showing a little more dĂ©colletage than one would expect from a predominately Islamic Nation. (Also depriving many a red blooded male of one of the few simple pleasures left to them after marriage)

In addition, despite assurances to the people that this is not a religious law, the passing of this bill to many people seems to be a step towards the creation of a Sharia based legal system which would fulfil l the wishes of  many extremists who canvassed extensively to have this bill passed. Fuckwits, all of them!

These are the same groups who took to the streets in often violent demonstrations over the Danish cartoons, citing that they were pornographic and were used to fan the flames in their battle to transform Indonesia into a strict Islamic nation.

With the transformation of this bill into law, a "rigid social template" can be introduced, not dissimilar to Saudi Arabia's strict regime where kissing in public, flaunting sensual body parts or using these bodies to titilate  (See also Descriptions in 1 above), wearing tight clothes or getting caught short unexpectedly could have you jailed for up to five years. 

Women's groups are understandably up in arms about the whole thing (except for those in Jilabs) Bali has claimed that it will not enforce it (despite claims that bikinis in Bali are an an exception - no word on thongs yet) and, as stated earlier, the entertainment industry in Jakarta believe that this is their death knell.

What really prompted this post is the fact that my Stat Counter showed that one of my posts had been hotlinked onto a website called the World Sex Guide, wherein, a complete guide to services, locations, girls and even performance reviews of the said girls (some with photographic evidence) was listed for Jakarta.

It seem's that these "sex mongerers"  are themselves starting to get worried about what the repercussions are for them whilst they are involved in their seedy activities.  (The Travel Hotel in Kota seems to be a favourite haunt for them)

For the regular folk here in Jakarta, it shall be a case of "suck it and see" (no pun intended) and wait to discover whether this law shall go the way of many other laws which are not enforced. 

For the sex predators, I trust that this encourages them to start behaving in a sensible manner and avoid such activities..... while, for the people that campaigned to pass this bill

"Go f*ck yourself"  

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Saturday 1 November 2008

But is it fashion....

I often wonder what constitutes fashion these days.  

This style is more than certainly dubious in my book....

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Kulchur (With a K)

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Contrary to much I have said, there are some interesting extra curricular activities in Jakarta. Not normally being one for the "highbrow end" of the entertainment scale here, I relented (for personal reasons) and decided to go along to this production. (Visions of the Marx Brothers movie at the Opera did run through my mind) 

It was actually rather good, well directed with some amazing vocal talent...

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The main players were all Indonesian and to be honest, were superb. Every note and word were clearly audible with immense vocal range capabilities displayed throughout the evening..

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Although using minimal stage props, the lighting and costumes made for a stunning visual experience.


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The choreography was well executed, every player knew exactly where to be at just the right time and the main players positioning ensured maximum vocal delivery.

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Backing the "stars" the Paramabiri Choir from the Bina Nusantara University were superb. Again, despite the use of complex enghlish language the students excelled in their performance


PhotobucketAlso in the cast were children from the British International School, Victory Plus School Bekasi, Pembangunan Jaya School and the New Zealand International School who all gained places in the production through a highly slective audition process. The children were utilised in creating crowd effects, demonic presences, animals in the woods and startling wonderful vocal arrangements which counterpointed that off the main cast.  


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All in all, exactly what opera is all about, colour, music, superb voices and as a bonus, a story...

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With some children present in the audience I wondered how they would react to the evening, but, comic performance and visual effects created a muti-level entrtainment package for the whole family.

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Brilliant Night out, even if there was no alcohol.


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So for those that missed it....hard lines......