Wednesday 8 November 2006

Tommy and the Cannibal

Tommy Soeharto, the son of an Indonesian ex President got a conditional release after serving two-thirds of a 10-year prison term for masterminding the murder of a Supreme Court justice who was investigating his business dealings. (He received a total of 37 months in sentence reductions, a bit like the serious discounts you get at department stores after Christmas).

Another inmate known only as Sumanto was also released recently, from a Prison in Central Java. Sumanto was jailed for eating the corpse of an 80-year-old women in 2003. He also ate two thigs who tried to rob him. He claimed that he liked eating cats, dogs, rats and snakes when human corpses were not available. Reasonable sounding chap to me!

Both Tommy and Sumanto received sentence reductions for good behaviour. Sumanto is completely different from Tommy. I think all the convicts and wardens in the prison wanted Sumanto to be released as soon as possible. (Even the most notorious prisoners there suddenly became very nice and religious when they were put in the same cell as Indonesia's answer to Hannibal Lecter).

Tommy's freedom sparked controversy in society. During Soeharto's 32-year tenure, up to his fall in 1998, Tommy always received "presidential" treatment. Tommy, who was born in 1962, was always surrounded by people who treated him like a prince who could do no wrong and whose wishes should be fulfilled. Now, he must bear the burden of being known as the mastermind of a murder for the rest of his life. My personal opinion is that he does not give a fuck, when you’re a multi millionaire I imagine that speculation about your past business interests (criminal or non criminal) lie low on your priority list of things that worry you! Ask Chelsea Football Club if their owner has a clean bill of health.

The Soeharto children most certainly got the silver spoon treatment, young adults who easily got unbelievable projects like the monopoly on oranges, cloves, mining reserves, oil fields, TV & Radio etc. etc. Oh yes, I forgot, they also got “get out of jail early” cards!

What's the criteria for good behaviour, anyway? It's rather abstract. Only when you are in jail are you able to have a more concrete understanding of the two worlds. For Sumanto it was probably easier to demonstrate his good behaviour -- he succeeding resisting the urge to eat his fellow inmates.

And Tommy? He just used his card!

Who ya gonna feed?



Hundreds of poor people flocked to a Temple in Tangerang recently for donations given out at the peak of the annual Hungry Ghost Festival.

The Cioko festival at the temple, also coincides with the Buddhist Ulambana celebration.

The visitors vied with one another for the packages of basic necessities prepared by the Cioko/Ulambana organizing committee.

Soon after the giveaways, a paper replica of a 12-meter-long gold dragon boat and a seven-meter-tall effigy of the Lord of Evil, Fuckwit Bastardo Maximus, were burned as offerings.

"We believe that by burning these effigies, disasters will be averted and security and prosperity will come to this world," Atotal Fuckwit, who heads the organizing committee, told The Jakarta Post.

This year, feeding the ghosts day fell on Saturday. In Indonesia, this day is supposed to be a time to pray and give alms to the less fortunate. (In reality, it’s a day to clog the streets with motorbikes, fill the shopping malls with “hunners of cunts” generally do fuck all.

Mountains of gift parcels containing food, fruits, rice, clothes, Beer, Condoms and other daily necessities stood before the prayer altar, with a special committee was assigned to distribute the packages to the poor. An Indonesian “Means Test” does not bear thinking about. Everyone would be considered to be living in abject poverty.

I’ma Fuckwit, a senior employee at the 317-year-old temple, said that among the Chinese community, the Cioko rite was observed to help neglected souls or ghosts that still roamed the world. Executed Falung Gung members were however not included by orders received from Beijing.

According to Taoist beliefs, the torture that these neglected souls would encounter in the netherworld was postponed on the first day of the seventh month.

For the whole month following, these souls were allowed to return to the world. Here on earth, the faithful prayed for their ancestors either at home or through the Cioko rite held at temples and other places of worship. Financial offerings for services rendered by Chinese Hookers are also considered to be a valid form off prayer and offering.

The neglected souls are those that have received no offerings or prayers from their families. Because of this, they are hungry and roam the world and the festival is held to ensure that they do not harm the living. They even bribe ghosts here.

As part of the event, many basic commodities were distributed to homeless people living under bridges in Tangerang and Jakarta, to the scavengers at the Rawa Kucing dump site and the poor around the temple and Tangerang regency.

Ah - Indonesia

Autumn Mosque

A Mosque in Cipete Jakarta. No significance really, just an nice shot
Cawang, The latest pocket money earner for Jakartan Cops

Tuesday 7 November 2006

Police target traffic offenders

Jakarta Police charged 187 traffic offenders in Cawang, East Jakarta, on Tuesday alone, indicating the unsafe road conditions in the area. (Understatement of the fucking year-the place is a zoo!)

A senior Jakartan Traffic Cop said recording so many violations in a single day was deeply worrying. ( As we discussed these issues, may staff arrived to make donations to the Traffic Police Charity Box)

He said the offenders were all drivers of public transportation vehicles, like buses and public minivans, who passed at unsafe speeds, ignored traffic signs or were driving without a license or registration documents. Each of these violators was given the opportunity to make amends with a spot fine and no receipt.

According to a spokesman, from the beginning of September to mid-October, police had recorded a staggering 8,195 traffic violations. Based on an average spot fine off 20,000 IR, the Charity Box may have benefited by upto US$ 18,000. Not bad for a single intersection!

It is claimed that 65 public transportation routes passed through the area, making it a "pseudo" terminal. I have seen with my own eyes the buses slowing down as they pass the police on duty and deliver a wad of Rupiah into the waiting long arm of the law. This has been perfected to a fine art, the bus never stopping and the cop never smiling until the money has been stashed!

"Inadequate infrastructure like broken traffic signs, potholes, poorly managed bus terminals, beggars, newspaper salesmen, cigarette salesmen, anything under the sub salesmen and street musician are also contributing to the problem," he said.

To overcome the problem, 200 police and public order officers were deployed to the area this week. This in effect made the collection of spot fines easier, however, brought traffic to a standstill as most motorists did not have the exact money and had to wait for change.

Thirty public order officers were assigned to deal with sidewalk vendors and 50 riot police to deal with thugs, while personnel from the police's intelligence and internal affairs divisions were sent out to tackle street crime and the problem of unscrupulous police. It is apparent that the intelligence and internal affairs officers (both of them) were overwhelmed by the task and finally joined in the feeding frenzy!

"We will continue the program until the area has been milked dry ," the Officer added..

Forced evictions start with the 'f' word

Jakarta may be almost half a millennium old, but when it comes to fire it is nothing more than a child whose fascination with burning stuff started at an early age.

But in a city where more than 300 fires break out every year, there are many reasons for playing with fire.

The most sinister of these is that Fire has become Jakarta's simplest method of urban renewal.
During the recent holidays, fire destroyed a number of houses in Central Jakarta, The three blackened outer walls of one of the houses -- all that was left behind -- provide a stark contrast to the imposing trade center standing behind them.

"We have been offered compensation for leaving the area several times, but are yet to come to an agreement," said Hardi Fuckwit, a resident of the isolated block of houses that had "spoiled the view" of Jakarta City Center.

The project's management, however, has denied any relation between the ongoing construction and the fire.

Revisiting a fire-ravaged market in South Jakarta's Melawai compound gives a pretty good idea of what lies ahead for these displaced individuals.

The fire, which occurred in late August 2005, claimed the life of a firefighter and razed several old blocks of Melawai market.

Surrounded by the makeshift stalls of traders from the old market, the site is on its way to becoming a hotel, new apartments and a shopping centre.

In January 2003, 111 kiosks in Senen Market in Central Jakarta were destroyed by fire. The Senen area is currently being redeveloped.

In February 2003, fire razed 2,200 kiosks in Southeast Asia's largest textile market, Tanah Abang in Central Jakarta. Two years later, a 14-story air-conditioned modern market stands on the site.

Forensic investigation of fires like those in Tanah Abang and Melawai generally state the cause and origin as a short circuit, or "unknown".

Occurring mostly in densely populated or slum neighborhoods, where the presence of short circuit faults in electrical cables or cords is a latent fire hazard, or in old marketplaces where fire safety systems are substandard, such a conclusion might be justified.

The Jakarta Fire Department data, where the cause of the fire has been investigated suggest that almost 70 percent of fires are caused by short circuits.

"We often run into problems investigating fires. The evidence may be incomplete because the building owners have already been in there, salvaging their belongings," stated a spokesman.
Of the 300 fires that are reported each year on average, less than half are investigated, while the cause of the others remains a mystery.

"Fire is indeed an easy way to wipe out an area without being caught as the evidence literally goes up in smoke," he added while manhandling containers of kerosene into the back of his pick-up truck.

Low-cost apartments in the city, for example, are almost always built on sites were squatter settlements were previously burned down.

As a final suggestion, the political fires are regarded as cases of arson! Despite being common knowledge, as long as there is no independent investigation of the cases, they will never be proven arson.

Foot Massage Thievery

Wily thieves are offering to massage people's feet and then stealing their cell phones, the Tangerang Police say. (Thoughts, you’re sitting on a bus and a stranger offers to “massage” your feet – yeah – right)

"This is the new modus operandi for cell-phone theft in public minivans," precinct chief Adj. Comr. Fuckwit was quoted as saying..

Police arrested two men, aged 29 and 31, for the theft of a mobile phone. Passengers from the minivan brought them to the police station after they were beaten up by an angry mob. (Having witnessed this vigilante attitude before I imagine cuffing these dudes would have been pretty easy as they were most likely semi conscious after the beating).

Witnesses said one of the men offered to give a foot massage to a woman riding in a R-01 public minivan, on the Pasar Anyar-Jatake route.

While one man was massaging the victim's foot and talking to her, witnesses allege the other took the woman's phone from inside her bag.

After they alighted, the woman realized her phone had gone. Passengers and the crowd chased the men, who had the crap beaten off them before being taken to the police station..

Ahh – Indonesia!

Headlines you will never see in Jakarta

Man fined for urinating on the side of the street.

Low Tar Cigarettes in the shops by next year

East Java Traffic Police announce speeding crackdown

Immigration Department to streamline work permit applications

Special discounted price for expats

Prison guard confirms Tommy Soeharto was a bitch for at least seven inmates – in related news, researchers name virulent new strain of herpes after Tommy

Man fined for throwing garbage in river

Politician admits he's only in it for the money

Indonesia admits to having nuclear weapons for 3 decades

Expat complains about his high salary

Shocking comparison of what locals pay for housing vs. expats

Aid from foreign countries improves the lives of millions of Indonesians

Indonesian education system focuses on real skills to help graduates solve the country's problems

Honest Indonesian politician !

Ditches and rivers cleaned throughout Jakarta!

Man fined for driving a car without license or insurance

Jakarta Fire Brigade arrive in time to extinguish fire.

Topless Car wash opens in Pondok Indah.

Government Ministries free of corruption.

Traffic Police donate graft proceeds to charity.