Wednesday 28 November 2007

Getting near Xmas, Cop's need cash!

The Central Jakarta administration is intensifying its traffic control efforts by ticketing and towing illegally parked vehicles and vehicles that illegally enter busway lanes. (Like all these guys on the picture to the right)

Authorities have identified nine locations in Central Jakarta where traffic is particularly heavy.
These locations are Jl. HOS Cokroaminoto, the Tanah Abang market area, Jl. Samanhudi, Jl. Abdul Muis, Jl. Juanda, Jl. Salemba-Kenari, Jl. Suprapto, Jl. S. Parman (Slipi) and Jl. Cikini.


(All area's of town I would not be seen dead in so I'm OK)


"We will keep enforcing the law on vehicles that are parked illegally or enter the busway lanes," Councilman Fuckwit said, as quoted by an inneficient news agency who do not know how to avoid repeating quotes in an article.


However, he said the traffic control operation was being hampered by a lack of tow trucks. The municipality owns four tow trucks, and it has borrowed another three from the city's Transportation Agency.


All the rest of their truck have either been nicked, taken off the road for failing emmissions tests or simply never purchased with the buyers pocketing the dosh.


Since August, authorities have ticketed 1,233 motorists and towed 123 illegally parked vehicles. Considering the amount off Traffic Violation each day, this seems to indicate that the Cops are doing well out off this latest money making wheeze!

News triggers price hikes


News about imminent salary increases for civil servants triggered sudden hikes in the price of food and basic necessities in several markets in Pekanbaru, Sumatra.

Typically Indonesian, the sharks sniffed more disposable income and kicked off the feeding frenzy!.

"In the last two days, the prices of all foodstuffs -- rice, chilli, instant noodles, soy sauce, canned fish, onions -- have all increased. It's really upsetting," housewife Sri Fuckwit said Thursday.

The price of various grades of rice have increased by an average of Rp. 1,000 per kilogram, while chilli has recorded the steepest increase, from Rp 12,000/kg to Rp. 18,000/kg.

The local trade and industry agency refused to call the hikes "price increases".
"We can only officially call them price increases if they are maintained for one to two weeks," agency official Henri Fuckwit said.

The news about a 300 percent salary hike for civil servants was reported by a local newspaper.
There is of course no substance to the rumour, just Indonesians trying to screw each other over (Again)

I am taking the opportunity to start marketing my new Product Line…Halal Bacon

Ho Hum, Floods again~


On Monday it happened again. Water, fucking loads of it, only thing was this time the floodwater was from the sea, not the annual downpour.

Needless to say, the usual fuckwits, rather than admit any fault blamed it upon…yup, you guessed, the climate change!

They claimed that global warming was partly to blame for flooding in Jakarta that has forced thousands of evacuations and cut off a highway to the international airport

Authorities pumped out some of the water, which was 23 feet (7 meters) deep in the worst hit areas and washed more than a mile (1.6 kilometers) inland.

At least 2,200 houses were inundated, some with chest-deep water.

One of Indonesia's environmental spokespersons, Ratrat Fuckwit, said part of the problem is global warming, which causes sea levels to rise and may make coastal cities like Jakarta especially vulnerable to flooding and monsoon storms.

He did not mention the best bit, which in my opinion was far more relevant!

Authorities ignored warnings about exceptionally high tides, part of an 18-year cycle, and, the icing on the cake, the situation was exacerbated by the failure to fix a sea barrier breached more than a week ago.

Recap, they knew off the flood risk, they knew of the broken containment barrier and as always, erring on the side of caution, did what they do best!

FUCK ALL!

The flooding came as Indonesia prepared to host next month's UN climate change conference, which aims to start negotiations on a replacement for the 1997 Kyoto Protocol on greenhouse gas emissions.

Brilliant, although, unfortunately I cannot expect any attendees from Jakarta learning anything of consequence, least off all considering action plans.
Martina Navratilova was said to have offered her services as she "has a lot off experience with dykes"

Doctor offers free use of his ??????

This was in yesterdays Jakarta Post and I could not wait for the online edition this morning so I could add this!

Priceless!

A solitary volunteer doctor working in Nias Selatan has been waiting for over a year and a half to get permission to fly his helicopter.

He brought it here to help poor people in emergency health situations, as local boats are not always available and are too expensive for poor people.

It seems there is no government provision for the use of a free service like this. Being the only doctor among 45,000 people, his time and medicines are all free.

Can we continue to allow Dr. Derek Allen to be without his helicopter, when at no cost to the Indonesian government he is willing to donate the use of his chopper for free?

JEANNIE MCLEOD Medan, North Sumatra

Sunday 18 November 2007

Cheap sex - High risk

This has been printed verbatim from the Jakarta Post as it really burns my ass about the double standards here.

There are activists on the street, trying to raise awareness levels on STD's and the effect that drug use can have on people, howvere, it appears to be an uphill task of gargantuan proportion.


We were kerb-crawling for sex workers near the railway station in the grimy Cipinang district of Jakarta, Indonesia's sprawling capital, with Endang Supriyati providing a running commentary from the back seat of the car.

"There, do you see those women there, sitting next to the drink vendors?" said Supriyati, project manager for Yayasan Bandung Wangi, a local association that provides HIV/AIDS information and condoms to women working the streets in the eastern suburbs of Jakarta.

"They're sex workers? They look like they're selling drinks." "No, they're sex workers," said Supriyati, 22, pointing to women dressed in nondescript jeans and t-shirts; waiting, bored, among the night-time pavement traders along the traffic-choked main road.

"Can we get out and talk to them?" "No," responded Supriyati, who was having second thoughts about the evening's plan. "They'll ask, 'Who are you bringing, what do you want?'."

Her concern was that if our voyeurism was spotted and perceived as snooping, it would ruin the relationship she had built with the women.

Selling sex is technically not a crime in the world's most populous Muslim country, but soliciting, pimping and procuring are. Indonesia's sex industry, although smaller that that of other South East Asian nations, still reportedly rakes in the equivalent of somewhere between 0.8 percent and 2.4 percent of the gross domestic product.

The previous authoritarian regime had encouraged designated "brothel complexes" in an attempt to regulate the sex trade. In the last 10 years, the rise of populist Islamic parties under Indonesia's new democratic order has brought the closure of established red-light areas by conservative local councils, wary of being seen as encouraging prostitution.

A booming sex industry In spite of the new piety, swarms of massage parlours, karaoke bars and nightclubs have opened, cashing in on Indonesia's economic boom. They discreetly offer sex to better-heeled punters, but in areas like Cipinang there is no façade.

From the kerbside, to a nearby alleyway, or shacks by the railway line (the only privacy an industrial rate of intercourse can afford) a streetwalker would be hard-pressed to charge more than US$1.50 for a quick round.

That sad fact undermines the advocacy efforts of activists like Supriyati: in a country where condoms are not popular and sex is cheap, market forces mean men "get sex the way they want it". "The problem on the streets is that you have to compete [for clients]," said Supriyati.

Insisting on condoms would not only be bad for business, but would "suggest the sex worker is HIV-positive".

The harsh reality is that 23 percent of sex workers are living with the virus, according to the National AIDS Commission (NAC).

By the standards of the region, Indonesia has a serious HIV problem.

In the eastern province of Papua it has become a generalised epidemic, with prevalence at 2.4 percent. In the rest of the country it is yet to break out of the sub-populations of injecting drug users (IDUs), prisoners and sex workers; but these subcultures are expanding as a result of lopsided economic growth.

"Two things force girls into this industry: poverty and lack of opportunity," said Supriyati. Although she must have told the story many times before, she cried when she remembered how her father had sold her, at the age of 12, to settle his debts to an aunty who was running a brothel in east Jakarta.

"If he wasn't poor, he wouldn't have done it," she insisted. But working the upmarket bars and clubs can also be lucrative, and there's a chance of finding a husband among the expatriate workers that hang out at the pubs of the big hotels.

"It is often assumed that all sex workers join the industry under duress because they lack other employment opportunities ... But the data suggests that many women in the booming economies of East and South East Asia choose sex work because it can pay comparatively well," said a report by the Monitoring AIDS Pandemic Network (MAP), a group of internationally recognised experts.

NAC deputy secretary Kemal Siregar told IRIN/PlusNews that regular condom use among sex workers was between 30 percent and 40 percent. Three-year-old surveillance data among brothel-based workers suggested condom use of around 15 percent (compared to almost 98 percent in the Thai capital, Bangkok).

Worse still, just under half of all clients buying sex in Indonesia were deemed "high-risk": truck drivers, sailors and port workers. If safer sex has been a hard sell among female sex workers, male and transgender prostitutes are in a neglected league of their own.

"Almost everywhere it has been measured, condom use in commercial sex between men and women is consistently higher than condom use in commercial sex between men, even though sex between men carries a far higher risk of HIV transmission," the MAP study noted.

Sex and drugs.

The use of putau - low-grade heroin - has exploded over the last 10 years, adding a further dimension of risk. It is typically injected, often with needles shared by many addicts, speeding the potential rate of HIV transmission.

The medical technician in charge at a small government-run methadone programme in east Jakarta told IRIN/PlusNews that 86 percent of the former IDUs who were tested this year were HIV-positive. Addicts sell and buy sex, and the barrier between those sexual networks and the rest of society is highly permeable.

"I've noticed that a lot of parents of young men who are drug users are encouraging them to marry early, to change them. But the fact is that they infect their wives and children," said NAC's well-respected secretary, Nafsiah Mboi.

Islamic leaders are wrestling with the issue of condom use. "We agree condoms should be in red-light areas, but it should be sex workers that buy them; they should not be for everyone, like students for example," was the less than ringing endorsement of Aelhi Laksono, an outreach officer at the Angung Sunda Kelepa mosque in Jakarta.

"The figures show that [HIV prevalence] has nothing to do with good or bad people; a certain percentage of the population will engage in high-risk behaviour, and from them it will enter into the general population,"

Mboi responded. "The people that don't care about abstinence or being faithful need condoms."

Supriyati acknowledged that even her group, Indonesia's only advocacy organisation made up of former sex workers, has struggled to get its message across.

In her depressing assessment, "Until they get infected, Indonesian people will not realise how important safe sex is."

The Buckie Gift pack

A mate of mine (Stu Who - he is famous inh Scotland but I just remember him as Stu) spotted this little piece of comedy gold in the Haddows on Copland Road (a boose shop in Glasgow)on a Wednesday night just before a Rangers game.

The the guy at the counter told him that they sell shit-loads of them.

THE BUCKY GIFT PACK A bottle of Buckfast, 20 Mayfair, & a packet of skins!! You couldn't make it up

Marsh Arabs at De Hooi

There's a new bar opened not far from the house and is pretty convienent being 300 metres away (Staggering Distance)

It's Dutch management (from the same stable as Bugils, Eatern Promise, Cazbar and One Tree) named it De Hooi, which is apperantly cloggie slang for "A roll in the hay"

It does however (myself excepted) attract some strange individulas, mostly American teachers form, the Jakarta International School.

I was in De Hooi the other night and there was this guy holding forth about Marsh Arabs.

I can’t remember if he was for or against them, but he was pretty steamed up about it.

I’m supposed to worry about Marsh Arabs now, am I, on top of everything else?

Sod that. So I said, “You ever met a Marsh Arab, cunt?”

He hadn’t, of course.

China


I seem to be spending more and more time in China these days.
Sichuan Provence is pretty incredible, once you get out of the city the countryside is breathtaking.
I'll probably need to go through all my photographs and post some of the best ones.
A task I shall leave for later methinks!

Cracking Car

They just dont make them like this anymore.

This beast was spotted near Pondok Indah Mall, the kids inside had one of the loudest steroe's I've ever heard and possibly the worst car!

Saturday 17 November 2007

Counterfruit

Police arrested two people this weeky for allegedly producing and distributing counterfeit money.

Director of the city police's general crimes unit Sr. Comr. Major General Shitabrick said the suspects, Erwin Fuckwit, 48, and Suhadi Fuckwit (no relation), 53, may face up to five years in prison if found guilty.

"They used a scanner and a computer to make the counterfeit money. Suhadi then distributed the money by buying fruit using it," he said.

Now forgive me for being niave, but laundering the money by purchasing fruit......

Police seized Rp 37.5 million (approximately US$4,000) in counterfeit notes, a computer, a scanner and a printer allegedly used in the scam.

Erwin initially printed the money for fun, police said, but he printed more when he realized it may be worth something.

Shitabrick said the money was only used in the Depok area in West Java by the suspects. The detectives on the case were able to track the culprits by the trail of banana skins presumably.

Stuck in Traffic, Axe Murderer at the window, no problem, just scream!

Crime takes to the streets, traffic jams have increased due to the busway developments and the bad guys have developed new techniques to rob!

This week a driver witnessed four men threaten a woman with a machete in traffic at Dukuh Atas underpass in Central Jakarta.

The woman was driving a car with her child, stuck in a traffic jam when the men approached and banged on the window, one of them pointing a machete at her.

The witness stated that "She passed her cell phone through the slightly opened window,"

Apparently the witness who was in a taxi just behind the woman's car, said he was shocked, as no one helped her.

"It was a long traffic jam, and there was no police officer in the area," he said .
I don’t know about you, but, the idiot in me would probably have attempted to do something about it.

As described, it would appear that there must have been at least a hundred people in the area, not one of whom got out of their vehicle and tried to help..

The armed men apparently left the crime scene, walking slowly as if nothing unusual had happened. Times are bad when it comes to this!

The crime was one of many unreported cases of street robbery which are on the rise due to widespread congestion in the city.

Jakarta Police chief Insp. Gen. Ayma Fuckwit confirmed that traffic congestion in the city has opened more opportunities for street criminals.

"But with more police officers deployed near the traffic congestion areas now, we manage not only the traffic problems, but also the crimes that might happen there," he said.

The police spokesman also said that recently his team arrested two members of the so-called "Red Axe" gang, which is responsible for violent crimes across the city using red-colored axes. As we speak an APB has been issued for the Hooded Claw, The Ant Hill Mob and Dick Dastardley, all hardened traffic felons.

However, the members of the Red-Axe gang who were arrested after allegedly robbing and threatening a train passenger in Pasar Minggu Baru station in South Jakarta on Tuesday, were shot by the police when they tried to escape. They died on the way to hospital.

Swift justice, I imagine that the report on the shooting must have been a great read.

South Jakarta Police chief Sr. Com. Chairbound Eyeshut said the "Red-Axe" gang usually operated at intersections when the traffic light turned red or in traffic jams. But recently they have also turned to trains.

"Their main target is female drivers and I suggest to anyone who finds herself in this situation, to scream out for help.

"The screaming will make them panic," he added. (Whoop de bloody doo, four guys with an axe panicking because Ibu Fuckwit is screaming, don’t see it somehow)

City police have intensified patrols in several areas considered "prone to street crime".

These include Jl. Patiunus, Jl. Arteri Pondok Indah, Jl. Bendi and Jl. RC Veteran in South Jakarta; Jl. Juanda and Jl. Merdeka Barat in Central Jakarta; Jl. Sengon Tambora, Jl. Yos Sudarso and Jl. Boulevard Kelapa Gading in North Jakarta; and Jl. Pasar Rebo, Jl. Pisangan Timur and Jl. Basuki Rahmat in East Jakarta.

Now the police, having named the areas of concern where they are patrolling (I cannot remember the last time I saw a cop on Jl Arteri Pondok Indah) have let the cat out off the bag and the Red-Axe gang are moving to a street near you.

Fags not Shags


Malang regency public order officers banned sex workers from operating during the recent Ramadan and are made efforts to secure them jobs in cigarette factories as an alternative means of income.


Investigation and disciplinary division head of the public order police unit Ihavenodick Fuckwit said the initiative was aimed at minimizing the number of sex workers in the regency.


It would also equip them with the necessary skills to seek other means of income so they do not return to sex work, he said.

"We can't ask them to stop operating during Ramadan without giving them an alternative means of income, as this is our moral obligation.

"The closure of brothels should be followed up with solutions. Sex workers should be introduced to positive activities, at least during the month of Ramadan, so they can live a more meaningful life and (hopefully) not return to their old trade," said Ihavenodick at a press conference.

The regency administration will provide training and capital to sex workers to buy tobacco and paper so they can produce hand-rolled cigarettes, which will then be supplied to cigarette factories.

Malang regency is home to 321 large and small scale cigarette factories, 193 of which are currently operational and located in 33 of the regency's districts.

Data at the Malang regency Health Office shows that at least 486 sex workers currently operate in several red-light districts in the regency.

Observations conducted by officers and activists in the field indicate that a sex worker who usually serves two to three customers per day can earn Rp 50,000 (approximately US$5.50) daily, after deducting lodging and meal expenses and payment to pimps.

Meanwhile, a cigarette factory worker can earn Rp 40,000 a day.

"This program will be carried out not only during Ramadan, but also after the holy month," Ihavenodick said. (I cannot see this working somehow)

He added the program, which had been ongoing for the past year, was initially strongly rejected by various parties, such as pimps and others who felt they would be deprived of their incomes.

As a consequence, many cigarette companies -- which were initially willing to employ the sex workers -- retreated as they, as well as the sex workers, received threats.

Last year, the regency administration introduced the program at a brothel in Suko village, Sumberpucung district, where around 70 sex workers operated. Only around 15 percent of the sex workers were willing to take part in the program and were hired by three factories.

Ihavenodick then familiarized the public with the program and coordinated with cigarette companies, the Malang regency police, the local social welfare office and community figures to help sex workers who wished to leave their old profession.

"Three factories have stated their cooperation and will accept the sex workers. They will be chosen from the red-light areas nearest to the factories so they don't have to spend extra money on transportation."

The regency administration's policy to close down brothels and entertainment establishments during Ramadan is also aimed at minimizing the spread of HIV/AIDS.

While this is an interesting concept, time will tell whether the girls will continue rolling fags or go back to smoking beef!

Never mind the bollocks, here's the busway!


Jakarta has decided after nearly 500 years to consider an integrated mass rapid transportation system.

City inhabitants -- seeing plans for busways, monorails, subways and water taxis -- are dreaming of a future of roads unplagued by run-down city buses.


But then the TransJakarta busway arrived, and it was goodbye Kopaja. (Kopaja is responsible for ½ the shit on the road and, in fairness about 80% of vehicle emissions)

In a time when becak (mini buses) and bajaj (three wheeled death traps) still thrived in a less-sprawled Jakarta, city buses were the way of the future.

But when the MRT finally kicks in, most of the older forms of transport will be politely told to “get the fuck out of here”!

Around 6,500 buses have been, and will be, affected by the introduction of TransJakarta busway alone.

Of course, this will mean unemployment as there are currently about 13,000 workers, since one bus is often staffed by two alternating drivers.

The administration has included the current bus operators in its TransBatavia consortium, a joint cooperation to manage the city's busway corridors. (read corruption)

Prior to the introduction of TransJakarta, city public transportation was basic with Pak and Ibu Fuckwit having no option but to hop on the notorious buses and minivans.

The existing fleet still consists of street devils by all definitions: unsafe, uncomfortable and unfriendly to the environment. In addition, hawkers, musicians and beggars are using them as work areas and your ride, uncomfortable to start with is fraught with these additional parasites from start to finish!

Pak Onan, a bus owner stated "What do you expect when people are only paying Rp 1,000 or Rp 2,000 for the ride? Bus owners don't have the resources to maintain or revamp their old buses."

Similar responses also come from other bus owners, drivers and sometimes even passengers. But there is more to it than that.

For the owners, problems only come twice a year when the buses require their official safety and quality tests at the Pulogadung center for public transportation.

"A healthy bus could pass with Rp 400,000. But failure to meet one of the requirements costs another Rp 50,000," said Dul Bastard a colleague of Onan who specializes in making sure that the buses pass the tests. (read corruption)

An observation at the Pulogadung testing center backs up Dul's story, with drivers queuing their buses for the test familiar with the "special handshake."

The result is apparent in the buses that freely roam the streets with brakes that often fail and thick smoke coming from their exhausts.

"Paying those fees is already a burden. You can't expect us to take the buses to the garage every month for maintenance," said Toupe adding that he had to come up with (steal) Rp 40 million to start operating his buses.

"For route fees and all. You know, that sort of thing," he said. (Read kickbacks)

And with that investment, he collects Rp 200,000 a day from his drivers. (Read he is also being ripped off by his drivers)

With the special handshake available to waive maintenance problems, there are no incentives or disincentives for him to spend more on maintenance or revamp his fleet.

The chaos of the industry is in turn made more complex by the erratic and dangerous behavior of drivers and passengers.

Fucking nightmare is about the only description for it, however, it looks as if despite the best intentions, the nightmare will last for at least another 500 years!