Thursday 29 January 2009

Bekasi, Sex Capital of Indonesia (Or so it seems)

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In other news,  Bekasi maintains it’s lead as a hot bed (literally) of sin with reports coming in regarding a new religious sect which has some rather interesting theories on worship…
Once again the Jakarta Post explains (How do they get all the juicy stuff)

A squad of officers from the South Jakarta Police are heading to Bekasi in pursuit of the leader of a religious sect that practices rituals involving sexual orgies and preaches free sex, after arresting two members earlier in Pasar Minggu on Tuesday.

A police report said the sect, Satria Piningit Weteng Buwono, operated in Jakarta and Bekasi since 2007, and was led by a spiritual leader identified as Agus Iman Solichin also known as Noro.

Although employing elements similar to those used by Muslims, Noro reportedly told his followers to switch sex partners as part of religious ritual, and also to have sex while being watched by other members.

Instead of praying five times a day, the police report went on, the cult's members were told to play music together while singing pop tunes with mantras. ( Using an ABBA song as the call to prayer would surely have given the game away methinks)

He is said to have about 40 followers, all adults. At the beginning, Noro told them to pray and carry out religious recitations. After several months, he told them he was God and that they didn't have to do that any more.  

Even better,
Noro gave religious sermons wearing only his underpants and taught his disciples "Kamasutra" sex techniques to use in the afterlife, with followers claiming that they behaved as if they had been hypnotised during these “lessons”


An
Attorney General's Office spokesman said the sect leader could face five years in prison under the current laws. Only problem is that the investigation would be undertaken by a special group within the AGO!.

Yes, once again, there is a killer, the special group mentioned is the
Coordinating Body for Monitoring Mystical Beliefs in Society …bloody hell, I don’t know about you but this sounds like Indonesia’s very own Torchwood, presumably without the gays!

Inspecting Cherries – Madura Style…

It seems to be one a day at the moment with the sexual behaviour clerics and “alternative church leaders being reported for “Lewd and Libidinous Behaviour.”

The issue here is that certain actions are considered as acceptable as this case below shows with the school authorities stating that the issue was being handled “Internally”.

My stance on this is that it seems that an Internal Investigation is too late as it had already taken place.

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From the Jakarta Post:

A junior high school teacher in Pamekasan, Madura, is facing sexual assult charges after inappropriately touching six of his female students in what he claims was a "virginity examination" last week.


Thalib, who teachers Islamic religious ethics at state-run junior high school SMP 6, admitted to the students' parents on Tuesday that he "examined the virginity" of six students' last Wednesday, after receiving information that they belonged to the so-called Bolot Geng group, a local gang. 

Sing along - Wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang


"I had no intention to commit sexual abuse. I did it to prevent them from having free sex in the illegal organization," he told the students' parents and the school's management.

The students' parents, along with many villagers, came to the school's campus and attempted to assault the teacher, but were stopped by the school's management. (When they use the word assault here, I get the feeling that they were intent on castration and making him eat his own penis..I love the Jakarta Posts reporting style sometimes)


"We were asked to come in to the room one by one. We were asked to bow down and while uttering magic words, the teacher touched our sex organs with his hand or leg. To end the examination, he (the teacher) asked us not to report on it to our parents and threatened to impose sanctions if we did so," Kris (not her real name), one of the victims, told The Jakarta Post. 

("Magic Words" and a "Leg" ...my imagination has just run riot) 

Hasyim, who is representing the six students' parents, rejected the school management's request to settle the matter internally, saying they would file a complaint with local police.

Here comes the killer…….

"The religious ethics teacher is creative but he does not realize the move goes beyond religious ethics and education curriculum," he said……


Fuck me sideways! Anywhere else in the world there would be immediate action, police on the doorstep, camera crews, activists and perverts thronging to see the perpetrator brought to justice. Indonesia – meh!

Tuesday 27 January 2009

The Yoga Fatwa

Yup, they have done it again…Indonesia’s Ulema Council, a group of Muslims who choose what is right or wrong for the countries faithful met last week to debate on what pleasures they could deny the populace.

This time …Yoga! Although Malaysia with a large Indian Hindu population adopted this stance a few weeks ago, it was thought unlikely that Indonesia would follow suit.

The main reason appears to be that while contorting oneself into positions that only gymnasts and porn stars seem to be capable off the council is worried that during their exercises the Yoga crowd may start involving themselves with Hindu rituals like chanting
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Try chanting Om Mani Padmi Om with your right leg twisted around your neck while your left hand is grasping your leg at a 90 degree angle to the rest of your body.

The Ulema cannot make this declaration constitutionally legal, but, here, whatever they say will “go” as the masses trust them to determine sin from good through the issuance of religious Fatwa’s (decrees).

I always understood Yoga to be a mix of physical exercise (read fucking weird contortions) and mental training (read shutting the senses down to ignore the fact that your big toe is lodged firmly in your ear while your nose is immersed in your anus) and that religious matters were furthest from your mind, rather one would be concentrating on how to unravel themselves later.

It seems that members of the council issued their decree after investigators “investigated” gyms and private yoga classes full of nubile young female practitioners in spandex leotards stuck in the half lotus (known as the Jenna Jameson) and the Floating Lily (where one relaxes in preparation for a “spit roasting” with A2M and a DP threesome) and chanted Hindu mantra’s like “Acha TK Gando Bukri Chod” (translated incorrectly as “come and get it big boy I’m ready for some action)

It has to be said in fairness that the same issues have been raised in the USA by Christian Redneck Bible Belt Fundamentalists who claim that it’s Hindu origin is heathen, while, it appears that in Israel it is “frowned upon” but not worthy of a scathing attack such as was made upon Gaza this month.

In Malaysia, there were protests against the ruling and eventually the Malaysian Prime Minister backed down saying that it was OK as long as there was no chanting….

So, it appears that this form of exercise can disrupt the faithful from their beliefs, no matter what the religion and is possible of corrupting religious values. As part of researching this post I googled for images of “Yoga Porn” and yes, it can disrupt one’s thoughts and if I were religious I would certainly ban such a pernicious activity…..

Nearly forgot, the Ulema Council's AGM also issued Fatwa’s on voting, smoking and a few other minor issues, which, understandably have created waves with responses from politicians and tobacco manufacturers….


Watch this space for more fucked up edicts!

Got to go, I need a cup of coffee to kick start the day but I think I'll just be normal about drinking it...

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Sunday 25 January 2009

And the Sun was eclipsed by the Moon

From 03:24 p.m. today, if you live in Jakarta you will be able to observe the moon aligning with the middle of the sun, then at 4:45 p.m. about 92 percent of the sun's rays will be covered by the moon's mass.

The resulting ring surrounding the moon will last for around six minutes. By 5:50 p.m. the eclipse will be complete.


However, I would not really bother about it too much as judging by the weather forecast it's unlikely that we will see anything anway....

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Edit...the clouds were not as bad as predicted, but, still not perfect. I ran about 10-12 shots off and managed to get this one which was still not great..

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But after adjusting the picture ......

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Gong Xi Fat Choi

Which says it's time for Chinese New Year....

A girl I know called Kristine in the USA had mentioned that she was jealous of my living here and I promised to get some Lion Dancing / Chinese New Year photo's so...

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Without needing to be told one can tell Chinese New Year is on it's way as lanterns appear in the streets.

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The Red and Gold envelopes which traditionally contain money as gifts decorate Hotel lobbies throughout Jakarta.

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Last night the "Green Leaf" in Pondok Indah announced that they would have Dragon Dancing in the car park area.

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The costumes were laid out in preparation.

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I was wondering if he knew how to tie his claws...

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Unfortunately most of the performance took place inside. (Loved the kid at the side in this shot)

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Through doors festooned with (illegal) firecrackers the dragons entered

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The main show was not due to start for another 3 hours but, the performers put on a taster for the public.

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There is a story being told but I am buggered if I know what it's about.

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The locals seemed to understand it and I think this guy was passing a tip to the two kids inside.

It would have been good to stay a while longer but if I had stayed in the bar for another three hours it may not have mattered as I would have been to smashed to watch the rest!

Wednesday 21 January 2009

Aspire to succeed in all that you do!

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There is a world agency called Transparency International which investigates corruption globally and have released their results for 2008 which makes for some disquieting reading.
The survey concentrated on how much baksheesh Indonesians are required to pay for Public Services was predictably topped by the Police.
The Jakarta Globe quoted:
“Bribes took place in 48 percent of police interactions with the public throughout 2008, according to the results of the survey, which was commissioned by the corruption watchdog.
The police have held the dubious distinction of topping the list for three consecutive years, although in the last two years it shared the position with the House of Representatives, and political parties, Transparency said.
The group added that the two other institutions had dropped off the top ten list for 2008.
“Bribery took place in nearly half of the interactions between police and the public,” said  the group’s researcher. “The average sum of the bribes involved was Rp 2.27 million [$202].”
Not a bad take home for the boys in brown!
Second on the list was the customs office, at which 41 percent of respondents who dealt with the agency acknowledged having paid bribes. No figures were released against the “bonuses” the Customs officials gained, but, they must have come a close second to the winners.
Runners up were the Traffic and Public Transportation Office of the Ministry of Transportation, the municipal governments, the National Land Agency, and state-run port operator PT Pelindo.
Judges and their staff of course did their bit in keeping this high scoring, the total value again undisclosed but the average per bribe of Rp 102.4 million. The courts let the side down by only being considered as eighth place on the survey’s list, presumably because Transparency International would have had to bribe them to get the true 2008 total kickback figures.
A rather nice little explanation on the judicial system, although slightly stilted click here
A nice little stinger came from a member of Indonesian Corruption Watch who said:
“I’m surprised to see that the parliament and political parties didn’t make the list. Corruption in both places is still rampant, everyone knows that.”
Everyone has to be good at something and after years of practice, Indonesia has finally found it’s forte.

On Yer Bike….

Are we going green, South Jakarta's Mayor would like us to think so, after issuing probably the most hated proclamation to his staff recently.
Apparently, district heads of South Jakarta must cycle when performing their duties.

"This decision affects village and sub-district heads, as well as their representatives. This is compulsory," I wonder if it includes himself.
This ruling was apparently one of the ways his office is contributing to the effort to reduce the problems associated with increasing global warming.
Now, correct me if I am wrong but would it not be more effective to stamp down on the buses and trucks plying South Jakarta spewing their filth ridden exhaust.

He also claimed that “Aside from the helping the environment, this ruling will improve the health of officials. By cycling, the officials could further explore the narrow alleyways of the area and would learn more intimately about the lives of residents.”

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More intimately, one wonders exactly what he was thinking off…… 

To soften the blow he continued with “The ruling does not forbid officials from owning or driving a car. They are allowed to take their car to the office, but when they need to travel in the area on business, they must leave their car behind and use a bicycle.”

But, altruism and care for the health of his employee’s flew out the window with the next statement.

“The government will not give the officials funds to buy a bike. They can buy it themselves, if not, they could borrow their son's bike, if not, they could borrow their neighbours'"

I spotted one “son” who may not think this is a good idea yesterday!

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So far I have not seen anyone paying any attention to this rule, but what the fuck do you expect around here….

Bang Gang in Belasi

While I live in Jakarta, my workplace (to use the term loosely) is in the outskirts in an area known as Bekasi. To put things in perspective, Bekasi although considered as a suburb of Jakarta is actually home to more people than the capital city of Scotland.

Accordingly, Bekasi has it’s own social problems and while not as strict as these dammed Tangerangies, Bekasi does come down hard on the moral side of things and the sex Trade is high on the list.

In 2004, just as I arrived in this fair land, Bekasi made a ruling against prostitution in the area , considering it their moral responsibility to combat the sex trade and it has been said the these measures had been effective in wiping out the "social disease" of prostitution.

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In a recent statement to the press, a gentleman with the extraordinary title of “head of administration affairs of public order officials” said:

"There can't be smoke without fire. Our job is to extinguish that fire,"

"We have always targeted prostitutes in our raids because in our opinion they are the origin of this social disease,"

Funnily enough, it appears that this lady may still be working there...
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Now, after the raiding has finished, any sex workers caught in raids, mostly female, are sent to what are known as Social rehabilitation Center’s which fall under the wing of the  Social Affairs Ministry.

It was intended that these centers offer classes in sewing and beauty styling, each course lasting three-four months so that the detainees may develop new skills and increase their prospect of employment .

But, as you may have guessed, there is another story hidden behind this apparently philanthropic strategy.

Money!

It appears that whenever a raid was conducted sex workers only had to pay police between Rp 200,000 and Rp 500,000 (US$ 20-50) to be released from detention.

No money, then it’s off to rehab for you, but even then, the game does not stop!

 In the centre, there are “brokers who settle the problem for around Rp 1 million (US$100) to get the ladies out and working again.

A spokeswoman for the sex Workers in East Java openly stated that "The raids are nothing more than an income source for public order officers."

It was reported that in November the public order office recorded that there were 82 sex workers in South, West and East Bekasi. In the same area there are officially 95 stalls offering food and sex workers, locally known as warung remang or dim-lighted stalls, and around 300 massage parlors and karaoke spots, also key spots for the sex trade.

I don’t understand what an “official” stall is, nor the numbers that they have come up with, however, making assumptions this could mean up to IR 95,400,000 (US$ 9,500) as a potential revenue source if each of the workers, stalls and massage parlors each were stung for US$20 each month…

Ironically, although the raids continue, the office rarely caught the pimps or clients because "we conduct raids on the streets, not in the hotels or wherever they have their end away”

More likely, if caught, the pimps and clients will have the necessary cash to pay the spot fines and avoid imprisonment.

Once again, money talks, but one things for sure. I sure as hell don’t see the Public Order Office loosing almost ten grand a month in extras……not anytime soon anyway!

Tuesday 20 January 2009

Dubious Employment

I'm scratching my head wondering what the fuck this guy does...

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More on the back...

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I think I'll pass on this one....

Fly the Flag High

With one election result done and dusted culminating in the “Black Dude”  in the White House, the next offering here in Jakarta will be about as interesting as life in a “Dutch Oven” !
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The Indonesian elections are actually a ploy, the aim is not to get a president democratically elected, more of a marketing campaign to keep flagmakers in business and poster printers working at full tilt in an effort to have pictures of multiple prospective fuckwits being plastered over anything that does not move in Jakarta.
PhotobucketAs the Jakarta Post pointed out last November
“ Voting for a president in Indonesia is an exercise of “buying a cat in the sack”, to borrow the popular Indonesian expression. We know they move and meow, but not much else about them. There remains the big risk of picking the wrong cat. 
By contrast, the U.S. election is like a cat beauty contest, where the candidates are paraded before voters who scrutinize them right down to the smallest of details. The risk of picking the wrong cat is virtually eliminated.
Americans get the Cool Cat, while Indonesians will likely end up with the Smelly Cat. “
How it works here is that a party must win 20 percent of the seats or 25 percent of votes in the April parliamentary elections, in order to nominate a presidential candidate.
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After the choice has been made, there is a three month campaign, which, realistically will probably throw up only three candidates. To be honest, the way the whole thing works sucks a bit as they do not get the “party nominations” to run as a candidate as is done in the USA. Rather, the party leaders fight it out among themselves behind close doors to decide who is going to stand. Biggest dog wins!
Who’s up for it so far….
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Yudhoyono, (known as SBY) the incumbent president  will be nominated by the Democratic Party…his only problem is to convince the other minnows (smaller political parties) to align themselves with him so that he could win the requisite number of seats to be allowed to stand. (Has also been known to adopt strange Foreign Policies with neighbours) 
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Megawati who was Prez before SBY, probably the best chance of  being selected outright as her party  the PDI-P is considered strongest to win enough votes in April. (Also been known to avoid foreplay once a year)
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The last of the three major candidates would come from  the Golkar party . Their chairman, (who is the current Indonesian Vice President)   Jusuf Kalla, has stated that Golkar will not announce their candidate until after the April vote rigging is over. (Has also been guilty of pimping for Indonesia..http://viewsfromtheeast.blogspot.com/2006/09/indonesian-vice-president-is-pimp.html )


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Meanwhile, flags, banners, posters and bullshit will continue to fill the streets and airwaves for the next six months…..


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As the Jakarta Post said...Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault.

Monday 19 January 2009

It’s a kind of Magic!

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Once again, superstition, gullibility and magic enter the realms of the surreal made possible with the news this week that the Invisible Man is alive and in Police Custody here in Lombok, the island adjacent to Bali.

According to Antara News, the gentleman in question, a thief identified as Salman, who was believed to have magic powers, was arrested after doing a runner after stealing a mobile phone and some cash from a house at Tanjung Karang village.
The Police statement was the best part, these idiots believe in supernatural powers and this nineteen year old is one of the most cunning operatives around.

"Salman is a specialist cellular phone thief who is known by the local people to have a magic power because he is invisible each time he carried out his stealing activity," the Police spokesman Pak Ima Gullibledick said.

He added that Salman had been hunted by the police for a long time. When he was captured on Thursday night, he was with his friend Casperl but the latter managed to disappear when he saw the police.

"We are developing the case to uncover an alleged ring of thefts believed to have magic power in the city," Gullibledick said.

Based on the information, the thefts with magic power in Mataram and in Lombok island in general had made the local people restless because the perpetrators could not be seen by the people around, he added.
Police have also issued a warrant for Harry Potter, Frodo Baggins and the missing Casper who they believe have similar powers and may have assisted in this crime spree.
I’m telling you, if it weren’t in the news I’d never have believed it… better go, I’m disappearing off for a pint!   

Tuesday 13 January 2009

I'm not being lazy

Rather, the New year ushered in a set of tasks which have kept me fully occupied. Task One is due to finish today and hopefully I can get back to peddling smut and nonsense shortly...

Meanwhile, just a quickie....

A friend of mine decided to indulge himself with one of Indonesia's strangest contradictions...Magic Mushrooms! Extremely psychotropic yet legal!

A batch of the said fungals was obtained in Bali and brought back to Jakarta for use last weekend. In order to maintain thier state of freshness they were put in the fridge with a large label marked "Do not cook" (In Bahasa Indonesian) attached to the pack.

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The plan was to get a group of  friends together  on Saturday, head out into the country and consume said mushrooms and "enjoy" nature at it's best.

Friday being Friday, it was a night out at the pub and then, as he had plans for Saturday my friend decided to return home at a reasonable hour in readiness for his one way ticket to heaven.

Upon his return, he heard a strange wailing and moaning from upstairs. Unsure of what was going on he made his way to the first floor to discover that the place had been trashed and his maid was present in her praying outfit bouncing up and down on her prayer mat.....

His first thoughts were that the place had been burgled but, as the story unfolded he discovered himself to be in a very sticky position.

It turns out that the maid, an elderly lady had decided to cook my friend a nice steak dinner, and yes, you guessed it, a Mushroom Sauce to go with it. It appears the Mushroom Sauce was considered so good that the poor lady decided that a little would not go amiss and used some to accompany her own evening meal.

Apparently, about an hour after her meal, the drugs kicked in and she was convinced the devil had entered the house and that she had been possessed. In her battle with the demons inside her, she set about destroying the genies around her along with table lamps, ornaments and framed pictures which were smashed to release the spirits within.

My friends driver was summoned and the plan was to get her to a Mosque, have the Imam exorcise her and then take her safely to her families house so that she could recover with friends......which, unbelievably succeeded. 

Only in Indonesia methinks!