Verily, I say unto thee – BULLSHIT!
Overall in Jakarta, there was an increase in traffic accidents of 40 percent over the year 2007 as compared to 2006.
Statistics were broken down and 754 accidents were reported in East Jakarta, which was exactly the same number of accidents reported in the area the previous year. Presumably this was because they were keeping an accurate score and that the roads were invariably flooded there anyway.
In North Jakarta, traffic accidents increased by almost 120 percent in 2007, with some 701 accidents reported.
The number of accidents in South Jakarta in 2007 increased by 67 percent to 640.
The total number of accidents in 2007 was given as 4,466. Doing the maths I would say it is safe to say that West Jakarta is a place to stay away from.
"Most of the accidents involved motorcycles," a Road Traffic official First. Corporal General Major Fuckwit was quoted as saying. "The main factor contributing to the huge number of traffic accidents in Jakarta is the negligence of motorists," he added.
No Shit!
Separately, Fransiscus Monkus Fuckwit, the head of transportation studies (cannot be a busy department) at Fuckwit University, said most motorcycle accidents occurred because riders were unskilled. He said research showed that more than 50 percent of accident victims did not have driving licenses. The other 50% had the convenient 20,000 Rupiah License which is valid until the next shakedown and never needs renewed.
In other statistics from the diligent zombies at Fuckwit University, the poor condition of several roads around the city also contributed to the increasing number of accidents in 2007. Did the roads get worse? I never noticed, I thought they were a hellfull abomination to start off with, potholes only serve to improve conditions in my opinion.
To prevent motorcycle accidents, it was suggested that the police should carry out more raids on motorcycle riders to check their licenses and other documents. Sage advice, but pray tell, where are you going to get a Jakarta Cop to flag down anyone off the hundreds of motorbikes weaving around in each lane to check their presumably non existent papers.
Pak Moncus Fuckwit also suggested that "Police should also enforce regulations that oblige motorcyclists to stay on the left side of the street," adding that the city administration should provide special lanes for motorcyclists. There was me thinking that was that the busway’s were for. How silly off me!
Police data shows that there were 508 deaths and 2,810 injuries recorded in total during 2007. Anywhere else in the world that would be subject to a “State of Emergency” with Presidential powers moving concertedly to supply aid and shore up the embankments. Sadly, here, it’s a kind off “ho-hum, not bad statistically given the 15 million plus who live here”.
In addition, the Traffic Management Center received more than 700,000 reports and questions covering 16 categories. These included accidents, traffic regulation violations, traffic congestion, driving licenses, vehicle ownership documents, vehicle tax, lost vehicles, vehicle identity queries, gambling, drugs, thuggery, (wtf) bomb threats, criticism, advice and compliments.
Gambling, Drugs and Thuggery, even more reason for the cops to let things be. We don’t want them doing anything dangerous to keep us safe, better they stick to their normal roadside shakedowns and let the killing spree continue as before.
Such is life (and death) in Jakarta!
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