The Tattooed Fuckwit Fraternity

In an awesome display of fuckwittery, two men underwent a significant amount of tattooing in order to qualify for government work in Jakarta. This pair of idiots from Bojonegoro district of East Java were correctly assumed by the perpetrator as being “a few sandwiches short of a picnic” and I imagine a certain amount of celebration is going on in the pranksters house since the story hit the worlds press.



The pair had their faces tatooed after village chief Pak Sawftuch told them he had received a text message from a government official offering them work as Jakarta intelligence officers. (Great, I read this as being the only mobile phone in the village and the chief goes from door to door dispensing text messages which he receives)

The official, who said it was a job requirement to have their faces tattooed with dragons, was later discovered to be a hoaxer — but not before Nanang, 30, and Bambang, 40, had already undergone the painful and disfiguring procedure.

The three men believe the anonymous trickster was a kind of "mystic", as they didn't feel in control of their actions when following his strange instructions.

"I was half conscious when the shop owner tattooed my face, and didn't think it was a con," victim Bambang said.

"I just realized it was a con on Friday night. I was shocked and I cried."

A horrified Sawftuch realised he had been tricked when double-checking the bizarre request with a legitimate government representative.

"I am fully responsible for the mistake and I will do my best to help the men remove their tattoos,'' the village fuckwit was quoted as saying.

"I don’t know why I believe that person.

"I feel half conscious when I follow the man's instructions."

Indonesian police say that the tattoo incident was the third hoax of its kind to have been pulled recently. (I must have missed the other two but one wonders if the crimes are related, and, in addition, when they find out "whodunnit" what will he be charged with?)

The men have filed a police report and are being treated in a local hospital.

Fuckwits, the lot off them!