Saturday, 25 August 2007

Colonial Past


As you travel further from the city centre with it's towers and glass fronted spires, a gentler side to Jakarta can be found.
Behind the palm lined street's, nestled in the background are the relics of the Dutch colonial past.
Needless to say, not all have been well looked after!

Are we there yet Dad?


Pretty typical, the family outing!
Mum and Dad both wear crash helmets but ignore the one most at risk...

Dont Give a Fuck


While driving back from Sunda Kelapa this old bastard cuts across three lanes of traffic without looking or caring.
Pretty typical around here and a major reason as to why there are so may accidents!

Sunda Kelapa


This 500-year-old harbor area was a vital link to markets of the outside world for the 15th century kingdom of Pajajaran. It was formerly the harbor town of Sunda Kelapa where the Portuguese traded with the Hindu Kingdom of Pajajaran in the early 16th century.
Since than this port has belonged to the Dutch and now Indonesia.
Time has stood still here!
Between all those high glass offices , traffic jam's and noise you will find the harbor , almost a quiet spot.
Large wooden ships enter here to release their cargo. These ships look much older then they are...
Decades ago they used to bring spices from the other islands to ship to Europe , mainly the Netherlands.
Nowadays these ships contain wood. Tropical wood to make expensive furniture, the majority of the wood being teak.
These goods are unloaded by men walking the small unstable gangway with a loads that normal guys like myself would say "No fucking way".
The longshoremen used to receive a piece of string arround their arm everytime they walked up and down and got paid based on the number of strings, ..these days they make about US$ 3 -11 per day depending for who they work and the sort of cargo.

Long Story - The Office Mug


Got to the office, made coffee and proceeded to get my morning caffiene fix!
AAaargh, sugar, fucking loads off it, some other bastrad had used my mug and it had not been washed properly!
Cleaned the said mug and waited for the Office Boy to arrive.
On his arrival I ensured that he saw me get my knob out and wipe it around the inside of the mug!
As planned, he told everyone, I was confident that no-one would ever use my mug again!
The best laid plan's etc etc came undone when I got a delegation of (muslim) female staff demanding that this mug never be allowed into the kitchen again as they did not want their own "mugs" infected.
Bollocks! Had to buy a new mug!

Belching Buses

(Picture re-used from earlier post - thanks Stick)
Jakarta has decided after nearly 500 years to consider an integrated mass rapid transportation system.

City inhabitants -- seeing plans for busways, monorails, subways and water taxis -- are dreaming of a future of roads unplagued by run-down city buses.

But then the TransJakarta busway arrived, and it was goodbye Kopaja.
(Kopaja is responsible for ½ the shit on the road and, in fairness about 80% of vehicle emissions)

In a time when becak (mini buses) and bajaj (three wheeled death traps) still thrived in a less-sprawled Jakarta, city buses were the way of the future.

But when the MRT finally kicks in, most of the older forms of transport will be politely told to “get the fuck out of here”!

Around 6,500 buses have been, and will be, affected by the introduction of TransJakarta busway alone.

Of course, this will mean unemployment as there are currently about 13,000 workers, since one bus is often staffed by two alternating drivers.

The administration has included the current bus operators in its TransBatavia consortium, a joint cooperation to manage the city's busway corridors. (read corruption)

Prior to the introduction of TransJakarta, city public transportation was basic with Pak and Ibu Fuckwit having no option but to hop on the notorious buses and minivans.

The existing fleet still consists of street devils by all definitions: unsafe, uncomfortable and unfriendly to the environment. In addition, hawkers, musicians and beggars are using them as work areas and your ride, uncomfortable to start with is fraught with these additional parasites from start to finish!

What do you expect when people are only paying Rp 1,000 or Rp 2,000 for the ride? Bus owners don't have the resources to maintain or revamp their old buses.

For the owners, problems only come twice a year when the buses require their official safety and quality tests at the Pulogadung center for public transportation.

"A healthy bus could pass with Rp 400,000. But failure to meet one of the requirements costs another Rp 50,000," said Dul Ilham, a colleague of Ogan who specializes in making sure that the buses pass the tests. (read corruption)

An observation at the Pulogadung testing center backs up Dul's story, with drivers queuing their buses for the test familiar with the "special handshake."

The result is apparent in the buses that freely roam the streets with brakes that often fail and thick smoke coming from their exhausts, or rather lack of exhausts.

"Paying those fees is already a burden. You can't expect us to take the buses to the garage every month for maintenance," said Tobing, the owner of two Metro Minis, who competes with 35 others on the same route.

Tobing said he had to come up with Rp 40 million to start operating his buses.
"For route fees and all. You know, that sort of thing," he said. (Read kickbacks)

And with that investment, he collects Rp 200,000 a day from his drivers. (Read he is also being ripped off by his drivers)

With the special handshake available to waive maintenance problems, there are no incentives or disincentives for him to spend more on maintenance or revamp his fleet.

The chaos of the industry is in turn made more complex by the erratic and dangerous behavior of drivers and passengers.

Fucking nightmare is about the only description for it, however, it looks as if despite the best intentions, the nightmare will last for at least another 500 years!

Popped Cherry?


A controversial proposal to conduct virginity tests on female high school students in Indramayu regency, West Java, has been dropped following strong objections from students, parents and activists.
They said the plan violated human rights and constituted harassment against women.

Indramayu Regent Irianto Fuckwit came up with the idea last week after two high school students were caught having sex on video. It appears that it took numerous viewings of the said video to reach that conclusion. The regents staff were also caught up in the incident with multiple visits to Hero Supermarket to re-supply the rapidly depleting stocks of Kleenex in the palace.

The video, which runs for around three minutes, involves a 16-year-old female student and 17-year-old male student, both from state run senior high schools in the regency.

(If my memory serves me correctly I was capable of a lot longer than three minutes when I was that age.)

Indramayu Health Agency Director Suwardi Fuckwit said his agency had not received any instructions from the regent regarding the conducting of tests. "I would not do it unless there is an order from the regent," he said.

However, he said it would not be easy to conduct such tests as out of some 16,000 senior high school students in the regency, half were female students. The regency has 78 senior high schools, of which 46 are state schools. (Ah the thought, 8,000 pairs of legs to be spread and checked)

Although the plan has been dropped, the Health Agency Human Resources department confirmed that many applications for the position of “ Hymen Inspectors” have been received including a surprise CV from a certain Mr. G. Glitter