Thursday 28 September 2006

Nude Thievery

Wood thieves in Indonesia have discovered that crime pays. Wives of wood thieves are being strategically placed to distract the forest guards with acts of striptease, holding their attention until the bare truths are revealed, by which time, the wood has gone.

The Indonesian daily “Jakarta Post” reports that the wood thieves prepare their operations weeks in advance. The wood is cut and stored as logs, the main problem being to load it onto trucks for transportation. It is here that the wives of the wood thieves come into play. (Wait for it!)

Standing at the roadside, they wait until the forest guards appear and then, the striptease act begins. The forest guards are transfixed by the show and while they are spellbound, the logs disappear. (The actual details of what goes on at this point are sketchy and unreliable, however, it can be assumed that the guards get a woody while the thieves get their logs off!)

A government official explained “Hard (good analogy) as these men may be, the guards do not have the courage to act against nude housewives”.

“Hard (wonder if they really understood the innuendo in using the word hard twice in this context) indeed is the fight to stop the unscrupulous from destroying Indonesia’s rain forest and natural environment.”

Once again Indonesian inventiveness leaps to the forefront when it comes to thievery.

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