Election Update!

It's a bird, it's a plane it's WTF?



Solving the cities problems with his underwear worn outside his trousers, or alternatively, win votes by letting the voters know that you are an Indonesian Soap stars father!



Better still, rather than debate about ones diplomatic abilities, just put your abilities on a poster!



Brilliant! I bet the US and UK spindoctors are paying attention as to how this election will be won!

Vote for Dopes or is it the other way round?

This little gem was in today's Jakarta Post, now I've heard everything! Only in Indonesia can prospective government candidates think that they can get away with shit like this....

Police in Bakaheuni Seaport, South Lampung said Wednesday that two legislative candidates of the Indonesian Youth Party (PPI) arrested for carrying 12 kilograms of marijuana on Sunday planned to sell the drug to raise money for their campaign.

Head of the seaport police detectives and crime unit, First Insp. Talen Hafiz, said that during questioning the suspects told investigators that it was their first time attempt to sell marijuana in Java and it was done to raise much needed money for their campaign.

“They said they needed the money to order campaign materials and hold campaign events,” he said as quoted by tempointeraktif.com. The suspect, identified as Reza Fadila and Anshorullah, were carrying marijuana worth Rp 26 million (around US$2,200).

Talen said that the police suspected both suspects have been involved in marijuana deal for a long time.

“We are still investigating where they get the marijuana and who they would sell the drug to in Jakarta,” he said.

The suspects were on a passenger bus about to cross the Sunda strait from Bakaheuni Seaport to Merak Seaport in Banten when the police found the marijuana package under their seats during routine checks.

Indonesian Elections

And two very strange candidates.....

Firstly, What does the "M" stand for?



And secondly, I do not think he would be considered as a candidate in the UK....

Fly the Flag High

With one election result done and dusted culminating in the “Black Dude”  in the White House, the next offering here in Jakarta will be about as interesting as life in a “Dutch Oven” !



The Indonesian elections are actually a ploy, the aim is not to get a president democratically elected, more of a marketing campaign to keep flagmakers in business and poster printers working at full tilt in an effort to have pictures of multiple prospective fuckwits being plastered over anything that does not move in Jakarta.

As the Jakarta Post pointed out last November

“ Voting for a president in Indonesia is an exercise of “buying a cat in the sack”, to borrow the popular Indonesian expression. We know they move and meow, but not much else about them. There remains the big risk of picking the wrong cat. 

By contrast, the U.S. election is like a cat beauty contest, where the candidates are paraded before voters who scrutinize them right down to the smallest of details. The risk of picking the wrong cat is virtually eliminated.

Americans get the Cool Cat, while Indonesians will likely end up with the Smelly Cat. “

How it works here is that a party must win 20 percent of the seats or 25 percent of votes in the April parliamentary elections, in order to nominate a presidential candidate.



After the choice has been made, there is a three month campaign, which, realistically will probably throw up only three candidates. To be honest, the way the whole thing works sucks a bit as they do not get the “party nominations” to run as a candidate as is done in the USA. Rather, the party leaders fight it out among themselves behind close doors to decide who is going to stand. Biggest dog wins!

Who’s up for it so far….

Yudhoyono, (known as SBY) the incumbent president  will be nominated by the Democratic Party…his only problem is to convince the other minnows (smaller political parties) to align themselves with him so that he could win the requisite number of seats to be allowed to stand. (Has also been known to adopt strange Foreign Policies with neighbours) 

Megawati who was Prez before SBY, probably the best chance of  being selected outright as her party  the PDI-P is considered strongest to win enough votes in April. (Also been known to avoid foreplay once a year)

The last of the three major candidates would come from  the Golkar party . Their chairman, (who is the current Indonesian Vice President)   Jusuf Kalla, has stated that Golkar will not announce their candidate until after the April vote rigging is over. (Has also been guilty of pimping for Indonesia..http://viewsfromtheeast.blogspot.com/2006/09/indonesian-vice-president-is-pimp.html )





Meanwhile, flags, banners, posters and bullshit will continue to fill the streets and airwaves for the next six months…..





As the Jakarta Post said...Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault.

Politics and Lip Reading

I don't normally get embroiled in politics, but, I think this is a unique opportunity for one to consider the American Election and to brush up on ones Lip reading Skills.

Raving Monster Looney Party (Not in Indonesia)

Candidates looking to be elected to seats in Riau Provincial and Pekanbaru Mayoralty Legislatures could not be arsed fulfilling the requirements of their candidacy and sent “look-alikes” to regulation health tests ahead of the 2009 general election.

From the Jakarta Post:

"The misdemeanor was disclosed when the paramedic team discovered popular figures, wanting to contend in the upcoming legislative election, had sent other people to take the medical examination (on their behalf)," a spokesman of the General Hospital in Pekanbaru, said yesterday.

Apparently, this is not the first incident as this had already happened at Tampan Mental Hospital, where candidates had to undergo a series of mental tests.

"The unfair practice was uncovered when written test results were found to differ from interview results," said a “Doctor”.

"All cheating candidates are required to redo all the tests." (How can they re-do them if they never did them in the first place?)

Now, the interesting thing is not the fact they cheated (they are after all Indonesian Politicians) but, the fact they were undergoing “Mental Tests”

What’s the pass mark? What do you discover about your candidate?

And more importantly, why is it only Indonesia that makes this mandatory. (Citations required)

Think of the state of world politics today would be if all elected politicians had to pass a “Mental Test”.

Seems that these dudes took the pretence pretty seriously as most candidates appear to have paid their proxies between US$54 to $108 for the written exam, which is a great deal of money in Pekanbaru……..