Burn Baby Burn

Last week in Sumatra it appears that hundreds of people rallied and burned down tens of houses in a red light district in Pelalawan, as part of a vigilante style anti-vice campaign ahead of Ramadan.

Police apparently stood by and stated that they could not stop the crowd from damaging the properties.

The Jakarta Globe reported…

Earlier, residents living around the red light district had demanded its closure, but their request was ignored, which led them to take the law into their own hands.

Initially, people were only vandalizing property in the area, but then some began setting fire to the dwellings. The fire spread quickly as most of the homes were made of wood.

The tenants in the houses attempted to extinguish the blaze and limit the damage to property, but it was too large.

“The people have long warned red light district operators to stop their activities but the warnings were ignored. This is the result of their arrogance,” said the third chairman of the local chapter of the Council of Ulema. (Pardon me but the use of the word arrogance is questionable here)

He said the red light activities in the area had been going on for decades and its presence had made the local community feel uncomfortable. It was also hurting the morality of the younger generation, he added.

Bit heavy handed but it seems that if you are moral enough, mob rule overcomes Law and Order.

All it amounts to is that the former customers will be deprived off (see photo below) for a while…..

Best Headline of the Year (or possibly decade)

I am posting this as it appeared in the Jakarta Globe online....Brilliant!

Unhappy Ending for PKS Legislative Councilor

If the Islamic-based Prosperous Justice Party, or PKS, was looking to bolster its reputation as the party of the pious, having one of its lawmakers discovered half-naked in a Jambi Province massage parlor was surely an unwelcome development.

Police found Jambi legislative council and PKS member Zul Hamli Alhamidi half-undressed, laying on his stomach, at a Bersih Sehat massage center during a Wednesday raid targeting residents without proper identification cards, PKS Jambi coordinator Syahfan Badri Sampurno said on Thursday.

“He is unstable now,” Syahfan said. “He fainted four times in shock over the misleading media coverage about his trip to the massage center.”

Syahfan said news reports that Zul was seeking sex at the massage center were wrong, but that the incident could still reflect poorly on the PKS.

“He shouldn’t be massaged by a woman, because in our religion, she is not his legitimate partner.”

Zul has reportedly proffered his resignation from the council.

Bekasi, Sex Capital of Indonesia (Or so it seems)

In other news,  Bekasi maintains it’s lead as a hot bed (literally) of sin with reports coming in regarding a new religious sect which has some rather interesting theories on worship…

Once again the Jakarta Post explains (How do they get all the juicy stuff)

A squad of officers from the South Jakarta Police are heading to Bekasi in pursuit of the leader of a religious sect that practices rituals involving sexual orgies and preaches free sex, after arresting two members earlier in Pasar Minggu on Tuesday.

A police report said the sect, Satria Piningit Weteng Buwono, operated in Jakarta and Bekasi since 2007, and was led by a spiritual leader identified as Agus Iman Solichin also known as Noro.

Although employing elements similar to those used by Muslims, Noro reportedly told his followers to switch sex partners as part of religious ritual, and also to have sex while being watched by other members.

Instead of praying five times a day, the police report went on, the cult's members were told to play music together while singing pop tunes with mantras. ( Using an ABBA song as the call to prayer would surely have given the game away methinks)

He is said to have about 40 followers, all adults. At the beginning, Noro told them to pray and carry out religious recitations. After several months, he told them he was God and that they didn't have to do that any more.  

Even better, Noro gave religious sermons wearing only his underpants and taught his disciples "Kamasutra" sex techniques to use in the afterlife, with followers claiming that they behaved as if they had been hypnotised during these “lessons”

An Attorney General's Office spokesman said the sect leader could face five years in prison under the current laws. Only problem is that the investigation would be undertaken by a special group within the AGO!.

Yes, once again, there is a killer, the special group mentioned is the “ Coordinating Body for Monitoring Mystical Beliefs in Society” …bloody hell, I don’t know about you but this sounds like Indonesia’s very own Torchwood, presumably without the gays!

Inspecting Cherries – Madura Style…

It seems to be one a day at the moment with the sexual behaviour clerics and “alternative church leaders being reported for “Lewd and Libidinous Behaviour.”

The issue here is that certain actions are considered as acceptable as this case below shows with the school authorities stating that the issue was being handled “Internally”.

My stance on this is that it seems that an Internal Investigation is too late as it had already taken place.



From the Jakarta Post:

A junior high school teacher in Pamekasan, Madura, is facing sexual assult charges after inappropriately touching six of his female students in what he claims was a "virginity examination" last week.


Thalib, who teachers Islamic religious ethics at state-run junior high school SMP 6, admitted to the students' parents on Tuesday that he "examined the virginity" of six students' last Wednesday, after receiving information that they belonged to the so-called Bolot Geng group, a local gang. 

Sing along - Wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang

"I had no intention to commit sexual abuse. I did it to prevent them from having free sex in the illegal organization," he told the students' parents and the school's management.

The students' parents, along with many villagers, came to the school's campus and attempted to assault the teacher, but were stopped by the school's management. (When they use the word assault here, I get the feeling that they were intent on castration and making him eat his own penis..I love the Jakarta Posts reporting style sometimes)


"We were asked to come in to the room one by one. We were asked to bow down and while uttering magic words, the teacher touched our sex organs with his hand or leg. To end the examination, he (the teacher) asked us not to report on it to our parents and threatened to impose sanctions if we did so," Kris (not her real name), one of the victims, told The Jakarta Post. 

("Magic Words" and a "Leg" ...my imagination has just run riot) 

Hasyim, who is representing the six students' parents, rejected the school management's request to settle the matter internally, saying they would file a complaint with local police.

Here comes the killer…….

"The religious ethics teacher is creative but he does not realize the move goes beyond religious ethics and education curriculum," he said……


Fuck me sideways! Anywhere else in the world there would be immediate action, police on the doorstep, camera crews, activists and perverts thronging to see the perpetrator brought to justice. Indonesia – meh!

Bang Gang in Belasi

While I live in Jakarta, my workplace (to use the term loosely) is in the outskirts in an area known as Bekasi. To put things in perspective, Bekasi although considered as a suburb of Jakarta is actually home to more people than the capital city of Scotland.

Accordingly, Bekasi has it’s own social problems and while not as strict as these dammed Tangerangies, Bekasi does come down hard on the moral side of things and the sex Trade is high on the list.

In 2004, just as I arrived in this fair land, Bekasi made a ruling against prostitution in the area , considering it their moral responsibility to combat the sex trade and it has been said the these measures had been effective in wiping out the "social disease" of prostitution.



In a recent statement to the press, a gentleman with the extraordinary title of “head of administration affairs of public order officials” said:

"There can't be smoke without fire. Our job is to extinguish that fire,"

"We have always targeted prostitutes in our raids because in our opinion they are the origin of this social disease,"

Funnily enough, it appears that this lady may still be working there...


Now, after the raiding has finished, any sex workers caught in raids, mostly female, are sent to what are known as Social rehabilitation Center’s which fall under the wing of the  Social Affairs Ministry.

It was intended that these centers offer classes in sewing and beauty styling, each course lasting three-four months so that the detainees may develop new skills and increase their prospect of employment .

But, as you may have guessed, there is another story hidden behind this apparently philanthropic strategy.

Money!

It appears that whenever a raid was conducted sex workers only had to pay police between Rp 200,000 and Rp 500,000 (US$ 20-50) to be released from detention.

No money, then it’s off to rehab for you, but even then, the game does not stop!

 In the centre, there are “brokers who settle the problem for around Rp 1 million (US$100) to get the ladies out and working again.

A spokeswoman for the sex Workers in East Java openly stated that "The raids are nothing more than an income source for public order officers."

It was reported that in November the public order office recorded that there were 82 sex workers in South, West and East Bekasi. In the same area there are officially 95 stalls offering food and sex workers, locally known as warung remang or dim-lighted stalls, and around 300 massage parlors and karaoke spots, also key spots for the sex trade.

I don’t understand what an “official” stall is, nor the numbers that they have come up with, however, making assumptions this could mean up to IR 95,400,000 (US$ 9,500) as a potential revenue source if each of the workers, stalls and massage parlors each were stung for US$20 each month…

Ironically, although the raids continue, the office rarely caught the pimps or clients because "we conduct raids on the streets, not in the hotels or wherever they have their end away”

More likely, if caught, the pimps and clients will have the necessary cash to pay the spot fines and avoid imprisonment.

Once again, money talks, but one things for sure. I sure as hell don’t see the Public Order Office loosing almost ten grand a month in extras……not anytime soon anyway!

A little something for the weekend Pak?

Now I know that Indonesia is very conservative, but, it apppears there is a market for some "unconservative products" 

Surprisingly not banned

Bustin' Out (Bekasi version)

In my Inbox this morning I found a message which went thus:

rima fauzi has left a new comment
I have tagged you to do a boobs post.

The original subject matter arose from Rima’s Post on this very topic here…

http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?p=1011

I do not normally react to “being tagged” but, when the subject matter is one off fascination for ½ the planet (I have not taken account of gay ambivalence in this figure) I though I’d better investigate and deal with it.

In order to first understand the male predilection with “mammalian protuberances” I decided to research what was considered the Determinants on Female Attractiveness and found quite an unusual comparison between the number off factors between males and females.

These were listed as below:
1 Determinants of male physical attractiveness
1.1 Build
1.2 Height
1.3 Variability in preferences

2 Determinants of female physical attractiveness
2.1 Signals of youth
2.2 Breast size
2.3 Proportion of body mass to body structure
2.4 Waist-hip ratio
2.5 Height
2.6 Prototypicality as beauty
2.7 Skin tone


I always knew that women were far more complex than males, but I had never seen the definitive list of physical measurements before. Interestingly, to get back on topic “breasts” were the second most important factor.

To further research, I took it upon myself to check out Desmond Morris, the author of “The Naked Ape” for a bit off “history” on the subject. Desmond obviously has run a check on the whole affair and came up with this.

"Other anatomical features also evolved to entice mates, they all appear on the front of the body--as if to encourage frontal copulation. Fleshy earlobes, protruding noses, red lips (which Morris says were designed to mimic the genitals), and swelling breasts evolved as sexual signals to invite copulation from the front."

"These have no physiological use whatsoever and biologists agree that their original function was sexual invitation. These sensitive, fleshy, delicate areas expand by one-third during intercourse. The nipples harden at the slightest touch, and for most women fondling of their breasts stimulates their desire for intercourse."

Perhaps the breasts mimic the fleshy, rounded buttocks that attracted males during rear-entry intercourse. Whatever the case, protohominid males liked them in yesteryear. Those with larger breasts had more young than those less endowed.

So, our reason for this fascination came from our hairy arsed ancestors who based a woman’s shaggability and thus the survival off the species by the size of her breast’s …Coool!

However, thanks to evolution and science, this need not necessarily be the case anymore and, to be honest, I am surprised that South east Asia became the most populous area in the world as the Asian boobage factor is not necessarily the highest in the world.

The Asian physique, generally petite does not happily accommodate significant “breastal regions” and off late, there has been in increase in the “Augmentation Industry” targeted at the South East Asian market in both the surgical and enhancement product area’s.

My particular favourite is the Yokoyama Corporation’s F-Cup Pudding snacks.



These products, widely sold in Japan have e magic ingredient called pueraria mirifica, a plant containing phytoestrogens that is being marketed as a natural breast enhancer. The mango-flavoured pudding snacks also contain soy protein and red clover, other products with phytoestrogens that, it should be noted, are used for treating menopause.

Moving along, here in Indonesia the whole subject is a bit risqué, especially with the possible implementation of the new “Pornography Bill” which has been much discussed in other parts of the blogosphere,

This bill will however probably not stop Djarum, one of the countries largest tobacco giants working on the principle that “Tits Sell”

Djarum had discovered that there was a potential market in Hungary for their clove flavoured cigarettes and embarked on a marketing campaign to break into the product within the country. Problem was, how to market the trade mark smell of Indonesia within Eastern Europe using traditional Indonesian values and advertising skills.

In Indonesian campaigns, the Djarum marketing executives have traditionally used hostesses who display a wholesome image, slightly taller than the norm, more décolletage than the lady next door and, if possible, fairer of face.

For Hungary, it was clear this would not work so, screw the traditional values, bare breasts and body paint were the order of the day. Want to make your average Boris start smoking kretek, easy, get him fair and square between the sights of two larger than normal breasts (or four may be better) and he will succumb.

Not allowed here but perfectly acceptable within Europe….. they even do the "Hitam" (dark) version of this popular cigarette!

So, there it is, as usual, even on the Breast Subject, double standards exist within Indonesia.


I must however admit that my personal preference is for the more delicate design in this department and, I will prove this by posting a picture of (in my opinion) the nicest pair of tits I have ever seen.

Interesting Statistics
Google Statistics:
Google can find approximately 30 million websites that have used the standard word tits. This is far greater than the number it finds for either the word 'boobs' or 'breasts'

Google can find nearly half a million images based on the word tits. This is approximately 4 times as many as it will find with the word 'breasts' and 2 times as many as it will find with the word 'boobs'

Edit: 25th October 2008 

Nearly forgot...

Q: Whats the similarity between Tits and Trainsets?

A: They are both for kids but Dad's like playing with them as well!

Wanna get laid in Jakarta?

Hidden in the Classified's

Browsing the Jakarta Post yesterday I came across a "small add" offering nightlife tours in Jakarta, US$ 125 for a threee hour educational tour. It seemed quite strange, all that money for what?

In the advert was a website address so being the investigative type I checked it out....and an interesting aray of "tour options" were listed, not al off them off the family variety!

JAKARTA AFTER DARK offers exclusive nightlife tours of the hottest spots in Jakarta to meet the most available women, allowing you to fulfill your desire. Night clubs, bars, street line-ups, hotel massage services, massage parlours, spas, pick-up joints, dispatchers, and escort agencies/houses are all yours to experience.

Come and get it big boy



Interestingly, the site also offers the following service....

If you are a business owner or a high level executive with spending limits or a corporation, JAKARTA AFTER DARK can provide you with a business invoice from unrelated service company for my private services and what ever amount of money you spend in between.

In that case, my services will become totally deductable and you will be able to charge them as a business expense in your company.

Different invoice subjects can be proposed based on your business activity: transportation, consulting services, conferences, training, translation services, marketing services, web promotion, etc.

I have just realised I have to do my expenses today, better contact these wonderful people and get a few receipts....em, er, just in case (If you know what I mean)

Spontaneous Happenings in Tangerang

Not known for its open mindedness, the Orang Tangerangs had a dilemma, give in to their deepest desires or go on the rampage.

Yup, you gessed right, rampage it was as the Public Order Agency ripped down over 500 illegal billboards promoting penis enlargement aids.

"We have to maintain cleanliness, beauty and order. This is also a way to express our commitment to educate on moral standards," Syanora, head of an unknown public order agency said, adding that no such advertisement deserved a place in public.
Most of the illegal billboards were presented in eye-catching colors and were installed strategically on the sides of streets, including on electricity poles and trees in clear view of cars and pedestrians.

(Tsk, Tsk, it is a well known fact that adverts should be hidden from view and should be very difficult for people never mind cars to read them. Unfortunately no-one has been able to get one of these adds and scan it, I would have liked to have posted that one )

One of the removed billboard read "Spontan Besarkan-Panjangkan Alat Vital" (spontaneously enlarge and prolong your vital organ). The advertisers displayed their contact numbers on the billboards.

(I love that, “spontaneously”, I have strange visions here, like “stand back, this is bigger than both of us” and men walking nonchalantly down the supermarket aisles, only to be hit with a sudden nether region enlargement)

Residents who witnessed the removal supported the officers' action. "We back up the administration's assertive stance because the billboards have spoiled the city's appearance," Nasrudin, a resident of Cikokol said while pumping away with the Chartham Method accessories he purchased that morning…




Tangerang, great place to live!

Upsize this.....

Despite being a normally reserved society, Indonesia has some surprises up her sleeve!

Notably, the mysterious Mak Erot, a woman with some very specific skills. Although she does not look it, she has the power to make dicks get bigger, but, in a rather different method from usual.



This legendary lengthener of male members solves self-image problems of Indonesian men with penises and prayer mats.

It is thought that Mak Erot died a while ago, yet, her powers extend beyond the grave giving those less endowed hope of one day achieving the “Big Boy” look.

The craggy, betel nut-chewing woman with a distinctive brown birthmark on her cheek has spawned legions of imitators, while her legitimate heirs are keen to keep up the facade that she's alive lest business die with her.

And it is still big business, the local newspapers (not the English speaking ones I may add) are with packed with ads for "penile paranormals” all claiming to have been trained by Mak Erot.

According to the Kompas daily, Mak Erot passed on her "science" to her five children and sixteen grandchildren who account for her 21 true heirs, a select order of masters of male enhancement.

There has been a consultation with one of her practitioners described in the press as an encounter with the arcane. Sitting in semi-(pardon the pun) darkness, the patient is asked to detail his wishes with the visual aid of a selection of carved wooden phalluses. ( I read that as “Pick a size, any size”, simple yet effective!)



Afterwards, the diagnosis and the promises. On this occasion the “Dick Doctor” intones that the client's appendage is "fairly average," and offers to conjour up a six-centimetre (2.3-inch) extension.

The prescription for such whopping growth is a 10-day course of eating and drinking mystery concoctions and secret potions, with the first dose of bitter berries to be taken immediately, washed down with dark brown liquid.

An assistant then brings a phallus-shaped bamboo tube containing a roll of sticky coconut rice that has to be swallowed whole to avoid what is described ominously as "terrible genital consequences".

The consultation ends with a vegetable oil that the client must promise to apply daily with a specific hand action from base to tip. (I read that as “having a wank” And err, no eating green bananas or citronella.

The daily cost for treatment is between 700,000 and one million rupees (70-100 dollars), depending on the options selected.

So there you have it, a dick extension in 10 days which costs US$1,000. It’s a lot of money for an Indonesian, but, it seems there are many willing to pay the price.

I can only see one problem if it catches on in Papua, the natives will need to “Upsize”



I sense a marketing opportunity on the horizon!