Vote for Dopes or is it the other way round?

This little gem was in today's Jakarta Post, now I've heard everything! Only in Indonesia can prospective government candidates think that they can get away with shit like this....

Police in Bakaheuni Seaport, South Lampung said Wednesday that two legislative candidates of the Indonesian Youth Party (PPI) arrested for carrying 12 kilograms of marijuana on Sunday planned to sell the drug to raise money for their campaign.

Head of the seaport police detectives and crime unit, First Insp. Talen Hafiz, said that during questioning the suspects told investigators that it was their first time attempt to sell marijuana in Java and it was done to raise much needed money for their campaign.

“They said they needed the money to order campaign materials and hold campaign events,” he said as quoted by tempointeraktif.com. The suspect, identified as Reza Fadila and Anshorullah, were carrying marijuana worth Rp 26 million (around US$2,200).

Talen said that the police suspected both suspects have been involved in marijuana deal for a long time.

“We are still investigating where they get the marijuana and who they would sell the drug to in Jakarta,” he said.

The suspects were on a passenger bus about to cross the Sunda strait from Bakaheuni Seaport to Merak Seaport in Banten when the police found the marijuana package under their seats during routine checks.

The Faith Healer

Once again the Ulema Council, guardians of the countries religious well being have issued an edict, this time on a nine year old boy who many believe has special powers.

The child is a kid called Ponari who is already a lucky little fucker as it appears he was struck by lightning and survived. Immediately after his electrical incident he claims to have found a “yellow stone” which is supposedly the root of his powers! The child reportedly got the stone which he threw away three times but it returned to him each time.

All that aside, despite being able to heal people, he has inadvertently killed four people after  “stampedes” outside his house over the past few weeks.

The amount of attention he has been receiving forced the police to take him to East Java provincial hospital suffering from exhaustion and, presumably to heal himself.

Here is the scoop! His dad carries him on his back, he dips the stone into water brought by the petitioners and they drink it – and they apparently get well!

This belief system is not considered unusual as many Indonesians still firmly hold superstitions and magic to be as effective as modern medicine in combating illness.

Many said that he was being exploited by his parents, but, when they tried to stop the circus they were prevented from doing so by the practice's self-appointed "committee", made up of their neighbours. The father was beaten up and as of last week was recovering in hospital.

The committee is the interesting part here with over 5,000 people a day flocking to get cured and  the neighbourhood has gone the way of all things in Java when something like this hit’s town. The usual food stalls, parking lots, room’s for the “patients” and families have contributed to a roller coaster business development in the area with takings have reportedly reached Rp 1 billion (US$84,745).

For daily parking fees, car owners are charged Rp 50,000 each, and motorcyclists Rp 10,000. The price of food and beverages in the area has also increased sharply.

The East Java branch of the Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) has urged the provincial administration to stop the practice of 9-year-old child "healer", stating that his healing was “un-islamic” adding that "If people believe Ponari's stone can cure diseases, then that's dangerous and could damage the principle belief of Islam," 

Despite their best efforts, the yellow stone is still being brandished and the committee are still raking in a billion rupes a day…..you tell me, who will win, the Ulema Council, the sick or the money men? 

Trying to make a Buck?

Advertising your services can be fun

Tiger 2 – Loggers Nil

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Over the weekend a Sumatran tiger killed two illegal loggers making it a total of five deaths by the endangered animal within a month on Sumatra.

The 50-year-old man and his 18-year-old son were apparently sleeping beside their stash of stolen wood on Saturday morning when the cat attacked, in this case well within the animals “designated habitat”.

What I find strange about the last statement is that once upon a time, the whole island of Sumatra was the tiger’s habitat, now it seems that a few enclaves which are not connected by any form of corridor are where the endangered felines are imprisoned.

The conservation authority were quick to point out that there would be no attempt to track, capture and relocate the man eater as “This time it was the loggers' fault,"

           

Three people were killed in two separate attacks in late January in the area. Park rangers last week trapped an adult tigress believed responsible for the deaths and it was being relocated.

As I have ranted before, the main reason for the conflict between tigers and humans is the rapidly diminishing “habitat” due to deforestation caused by the current “need” for palm oil and wood pulp plantations in Sumatra. With every acre cropped, a tiger loses a stripe, so much so that in thirty years the population has dropped from 1,000 to 250. (If a human population decrease in the order of 75% took place over 30 years I am sure the area would have been designated a disaster zone)

 I really feel no sorrow for the logger and his son, although I am sure that economic necessity had driven them to break the law. It’s old Sher Khan who gets my vote this time…..

Mr. C*nts Tadpole Shop

This sign perplexed me because....

Bakmie is a Meat Noodle Dish

Pak is the Indonesian equivalent of Mr.

Memek is Bahasa Indonesian for Vagina

Cebongang means Tadpole

Pasar means Market

Surely there has been some mistake?  If not I'm confused!

Pimp my WTF?

Spotted on Ampera Raya....

Brilliant! The ultimate javanese "hog"

Indonesian Elections

And two very strange candidates.....

Firstly, What does the "M" stand for?



And secondly, I do not think he would be considered as a candidate in the UK....

Best Headline of the Year (or possibly decade)

I am posting this as it appeared in the Jakarta Globe online....Brilliant!

Unhappy Ending for PKS Legislative Councilor

If the Islamic-based Prosperous Justice Party, or PKS, was looking to bolster its reputation as the party of the pious, having one of its lawmakers discovered half-naked in a Jambi Province massage parlor was surely an unwelcome development.

Police found Jambi legislative council and PKS member Zul Hamli Alhamidi half-undressed, laying on his stomach, at a Bersih Sehat massage center during a Wednesday raid targeting residents without proper identification cards, PKS Jambi coordinator Syahfan Badri Sampurno said on Thursday.

“He is unstable now,” Syahfan said. “He fainted four times in shock over the misleading media coverage about his trip to the massage center.”

Syahfan said news reports that Zul was seeking sex at the massage center were wrong, but that the incident could still reflect poorly on the PKS.

“He shouldn’t be massaged by a woman, because in our religion, she is not his legitimate partner.”

Zul has reportedly proffered his resignation from the council.