Horny & Hungry

Sunday was the first day of Ramandan and all over the country the mood changed and brought those rumbling stomachs.

Instead of food, sustenance became prayer and religious meaning. (Fuck that – try beer)

Food courts, which are usually crammed with people, emptied during the day. All over the place, the resident fuckwits lie slumped in the afternoon as fatigue began to show. “It is not unusual to see people asleep at desks or in corners due to the strain of getting up at dawn to pray and eat. Must be a real killer!” said a friend of mine who works in a large Oil company here. (I wonder if he was being serious)

Yesterday afternoon, the roadside “Warungs” were doing a brisk trade as people stocked up in anticipation of sundown's breaking of the fast. Presumably, eating this shite makes it easier to get up at dawn as your bowels are ready to explode thanks to the e-coli additives used in Warung cuisine.

As usual, those scurrying around to buy this shit in anticipation of the first evening meal complained like fuck about the usual price hikes. Best time to rape and pillage is when you have a captive market.

Prices for pork products, beef, fish, prawns, chicken and vegetables had all shot up, shoppers complained. One enterprising Warung owner could not keep up with the demand as he sold all his Bacon Sandwiches within 15 minutes of opening.

Ramadan is supposed to provide a moment of clarity for many Muslims in terms of providing purpose in life. There are however exceptions.

The first day of the fast with eating, drinking, smoking and having sex banned between sunrise and sunset dragged for many of the country's roughly 200 millions Muslims.

``I am not really doing well this morning, but then this is the first week of Ramadan,'' said Indra Fuckwit, a middle-aged cigarette seller in central Jakarta.

``It will get better later in the day near the break of the fast and in the evening when I can have a smoke and a wank. Afterwards, I’ll head down to Blok M for a couple of beers and probably shag a prostitute until its time for breakfast'' he said.

Ah, the pleasures of the holy month!