Smokers trying to quit the habit were mistakenly prescribed anti-impotence drug Viagra by doctors. NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde said the error was due to a computer glitch at two city GP practices.
When GPs selected anti-smoking pill Zyban, computers selected sildenafil, the generic name for Viagra. The e-Formulary computer system used by GPs automatically selects a list of the most popular drugs when doctors fill out prescriptions.
Some patients went to the pharmacy with a prescription for the anti-impotence drug instead of tablets to help them stop smoking. The health board was made aware of the problem on Tuesday and alerted all its GPs to the problem.
A health board spokeswoman said: "A computer glitch was discovered by two Glasgow GP practices that use the Glasgow e-Formulary, following a recent update of the online GPass system used throughout Scotland.
"A member of the public caught up in the issue stated that he knew something was wrong when every time he felt like a cigarette he had to nip off for a quick wank instead"
GP's are reviewing clinical trials in case a medical breakthrough has been made!
Wednesday, 13 December 2006
Saturday, 9 December 2006
T Shirt!
Indonesians love T Shirt's, but often do not know what the English words actually mean!
Spotted in Kemang!
Motorbike breakdown
If it wont start, dont worry, get a mate to give you a "toe"
If you look at the picture, the guy on the second bike has his "toe" hooked onto the bike in front.
These guys were doing about 50 kph using this all too common breakdown service system!
Hard Work
Street vendors are mostly mobile, selling Soup, Noodles, and other "stuff" you dont want to know about!
As this guy knows, its not all plain sailing!
Rules of the Road
There are none! Buses in particular fragrantly break the law!
If caught, just pay the copper!
Public Transport
Even though they are cramped and crowded, riding the bus may not be as bad as one thinks....he seems happy enough!
Have a break
Due to the amount of construction / repair work needing done on Jakartan houses, small builders supply stores abound!
These guys were doing what they do best-shooting the shit!
The Bermuda
Its an up market resturaunt, specialising in Indo food!
Never been in but looks great from the outside!
There are times....
When getting around can be quite pleasant.
This is in Cipete at about 6 o'clock at night!
Getting Home from Work
Is getting worse! The number of motorbikes on the roads is increasing daily and the cities arteries are getting clogged with these two wheelers under the control of the intelligence challenged owners
An accident waiting to happen!
The roads are full of this shit!
This guy was travelling at about 120 kph with the badly stacked gas bottles just waiting for the smallest bump to go flying!
Prime business location!
To be honest, most small business in Jakarta is street side, with the entrepenurial spirit being displayed on each and every road in town!
Jakpunk
This pair had jumped off a bus where they apparently had tried a bit of thievery and failed! Many punks get persecuted due to the actions of a few, the majority of them are purely into the music and lifestyle without the crime.. I fear it will come to a head one day!
Once you leave the city...
It all starts to get a little cleaner! For the first time since I arrived in Indonesia I found a river which was not full of shit!
Having said that, I wouldn't either bathe in it nor drink it!
Friday, 8 December 2006
Updates
I know I've been a lazy bastard! It doesn't take much to update, but I still just did not get around to it!
Accordingly, I've posted a fair bit this time. Some of it is a bit old, but, at least I got around to it!
The Template has been changed a bit, nothing major but it will help for navigating through the archives.
As always, feel free to comment,,,,,,,,,although no fucker ever does!
Accordingly, I've posted a fair bit this time. Some of it is a bit old, but, at least I got around to it!
The Template has been changed a bit, nothing major but it will help for navigating through the archives.
As always, feel free to comment,,,,,,,,,although no fucker ever does!
The Religous Right
Indonesia has a group of fuckwits known as the FPI, the translation of which is basically "Islamic Thugs who can do no wrong!"
They proved their strength recently with a rally in downtown Jakarta!
How to make (another) traffic jam!
Easy, set the camera's up on the main road and start filming (illegaly) another episode off one of the many Indonesian Soap Opera's.
Masks for Kids
These childrens masks were for sale during the Kemang Street Festival earlier this year!
The mix of traditional Balinese and Japanese cartoon images were strange and haunting!
Youth & Unemployment
This pair were having at it on Jalan Sri Wijaya in the middle of the afternoon!
Facts and figures on children in the city
The population of children (those under the age of 18) in Jakarta is 2.99 million or some 33 percent of the city's population.
The annual number of registered births in the city averages 125,000, while the annual number of newborns averages 137,000
There are 1,833 kindergartens with 92,850 students, though there are more than 720,000 toddlers.
There are 1.5 million child workers in the city, ranging from child prostitutes to domestic workers.
Some 16,935 children between the ages of 7 and 15 are not in school.
An average of 2,200 children drop out of elementary schools every year, with the highest number reported in West Jakarta.
An average of 2,500 children drop out of junior high schools every year, with the highest number reported in East Jakarta
An average of 1,300 children drop out of senior high schools every year, with the highest number reported in East Jakarta
There are 15,464 neglected children and 7,267 street children in the city, most of whom reside in East Jakarta
There are 133 orphanages and 90 shelters for street children, run mostly by private institutions
Where the streets are so thin!
Although the main roads are heavily congested, the majority of people live down these narrow alleys, only wide enough for a motorbike!
The whole city is strewn with these "Jalan Tikus" literally "Rat Roads" which not many westerners would dare to venture into!
Parched Paddies
With the late arrival of the rainy season, paddie fields on the outskirts of Jakarta have baked for longer than usual.
Until the rains arrive, the poor farmers can do nothing and ultimately, get much poorer as they have no other means of support!
Football Hijackers
While the national team may suck, local teams have very large groups of supporter's.
How to get to the stadium, easy, hijack a bus!
Public Transport
Metro buses in Jakarta are not normally considered friendly!
This conductress however proves that this is not always so!
A new trend in fast food!
While the rest of the world debates the use of Trans Fat, Jakarta once again rises to the fore with the new Fast Food franchise.
New Use for F**ked hard Drive
My effing Hard Drive crashed and had to be replaced.
Got my revenge on the bastard!
New Security Advice!
While the police were still investigating the motives behind the recent attempted bombing in East Jakarta, and whether the suspect belonged to any radical groups, other regions beefed up security.Towns in Central Java, Bali and Sulawesi dispatched more police personnel to guard shopping malls and housing complexes.
Bomb-torn Bali warned its residents, especially hotel managers, restaurant owners, and people who run entertainment venues and boarding houses, to be more vigilant.
Once again , practical advice from the brown shirted law men was given, only this time it was even more ludicrous than normal."If they sense something suspicious about visitors, they should prevent them from leaving and call the police. And don't hesitate to check on the belongings of newcomers renting a place or a room," Bali Police chief Insp. Gen. Fuckwit was quoted as saying by Antara News..
BRILLIANT.
Shopkeeper 1: “Oh look, that man may have a bomb under his coat”
Shopkeeper 2: “You prevent him from leaving and I’ll get a policeman”
Shopkeeper 1: “Okay-dokey Skip. Excuse me Pak Potential Bomber, I must prevent you from leaving the – OH FUCK - BANG
The most recent attempt was a homemade low-grade explosive, consisting of a pipe filled with gunpowder and buckshot pellets. This was detonated at an A&W restaurant on the mall's ground floor. The city had not seen a bomb blast for three years.
Previously there were nearly annual blasts for the four years following the Philippines Embassy bombing in Menteng, Central Jakarta, in 2000.
Dont you just love it here!
Bomb-torn Bali warned its residents, especially hotel managers, restaurant owners, and people who run entertainment venues and boarding houses, to be more vigilant.
Once again , practical advice from the brown shirted law men was given, only this time it was even more ludicrous than normal."If they sense something suspicious about visitors, they should prevent them from leaving and call the police. And don't hesitate to check on the belongings of newcomers renting a place or a room," Bali Police chief Insp. Gen. Fuckwit was quoted as saying by Antara News..
BRILLIANT.
Shopkeeper 1: “Oh look, that man may have a bomb under his coat”
Shopkeeper 2: “You prevent him from leaving and I’ll get a policeman”
Shopkeeper 1: “Okay-dokey Skip. Excuse me Pak Potential Bomber, I must prevent you from leaving the – OH FUCK - BANG
The most recent attempt was a homemade low-grade explosive, consisting of a pipe filled with gunpowder and buckshot pellets. This was detonated at an A&W restaurant on the mall's ground floor. The city had not seen a bomb blast for three years.
Previously there were nearly annual blasts for the four years following the Philippines Embassy bombing in Menteng, Central Jakarta, in 2000.
Dont you just love it here!
A Blind Eye to Fuel Theft
In North Jakarta there is a racket going on daily. Not drugs, not gambling, not prostitution (although all three do occur there), this one is fuel theft and as scams go this one is off pretty epic proportions.
I watched one kid as he was carefully preparing to draw off some petrol from a stationary tanker when he realized he had the wrong truck: The tank was still full.
A number of men approached, armed with plastic containers. The one leading the way carried a hose and started filling the containers. The group left with five plastic containers holding 100 litres of petrol in total.
An old woman, who watched from the side of the road, seemed satisfied with the outcome and nodded to the driver. The truck proceeded on its way and the driver no doubt would receive his share of the profit later.
After making a delivery and on the way back to the fuel depot, trucks stop some way off to allow the "draining” of the residual load before refilling for another drop. Some individuals , as described above are more blatant and don’t consider draining to be profitable.
Instead they aim for the trucks which are full and take what they want with the full knowledge of the driver. Incidentally, smoking a cigarette while undertaking the “blag” seems to be an acceptable, if not mandatory part of the process.
While children as young as 10 years old chase after speeding trucks for a trickle of fuel, the adults collect fuel the easy way and sell it at street-side stalls. It is a practice that has been going on for decades.
The authorities, it seems, would rather pretend that things that are out of their control, like fuel theft, are not happening. Pertamina acknowledge this problem and appear to consider the practice as part of their operational losses.
The figure is considered very small, up to 2 % of the total load.
Funny, I would consider 2% to be quite a substantial loss as it is possible to eliminate the practice. But then again, as both Pertamina employees and the local “blind eye of the law” both benefit, there seems to be no reason to upset the “status quo”.
A small fuel truck carries 1,000 litres, (equal to 20 nicked litres) while the largest one has the capacity to carry almost 25,000 litres (a whacking 500 nicked litres if you can get away with it). On my way backwards and forwards to work, there are many bottlenecks (Tolls predominately) where the traffic slows to a complete standstill.
The other favourite is for gangs to “sidle” up to trucks stuck in these jams, undo the petrol cap and start siphoning. The victims here are not Oil Company vehicles, instead they are private companies and individuals who have already paid for the diesel in their tanks.
It does not take long before the containers are filled and the stolen fuel carted off for sale elsewhere.
Once again, Indonesians prove that when it comes to thievery, they are masters and never miss a potential score!
Now if only this ingenuity could be harnessed into more socially acceptable efforts I am sure that this country would be subtly different.
Indolent Husbandry
A husband in the Indonesian capital Jakarta was reported to the local authorities by his two wives for being lazy and refusing to work.Odita Fuckwit, 26, a jobless husband in Jakarta, was detained by North Jakarta city police after his wives Neli Fuckwit, 26, and Turaya Fuckwit, 31, reported that they were sick of their husband pretending to be sick to avoid working.
“I decided to pretend to be sick for a week because I’m embarrassed for being jobless,” said Rahman. He also mentioned that he was mainly just lazy.Rahman married his first wife Neli Simanjuntak three years ago and his second wife Turaya in the last six months.
He has been jobless since and depending on his wives’ paychecks for his daily needs. “I need ½ a million Rupiah each month for the Viagra to satisfy these bitches and about another million for the beer and fags to keep me occupied during the day.
Rahman is charged under Indonesian marriage law and faces a maximum of five years in jail if found guilty in court.
“His case is very unique,” a north Jakarta police chief was quoted as saying.
“I’m very sorry that I have been lazy,” Rahman said. But, in my defence shagging the two of them leaves me completely fucked in the mornings.
"All night threesomes can be tiring and this pair are as horny as weasels in heat! If there was a legal sex shop in Jakarta I’d buy a pair of dildo’s so they could get into the lesbian stuff and I could watch and wank myself off! That way I may be able to have the strength to wake up and go to work! "
Some people have all the luck!
“I decided to pretend to be sick for a week because I’m embarrassed for being jobless,” said Rahman. He also mentioned that he was mainly just lazy.Rahman married his first wife Neli Simanjuntak three years ago and his second wife Turaya in the last six months.
He has been jobless since and depending on his wives’ paychecks for his daily needs. “I need ½ a million Rupiah each month for the Viagra to satisfy these bitches and about another million for the beer and fags to keep me occupied during the day.
Rahman is charged under Indonesian marriage law and faces a maximum of five years in jail if found guilty in court.
“His case is very unique,” a north Jakarta police chief was quoted as saying.
“I’m very sorry that I have been lazy,” Rahman said. But, in my defence shagging the two of them leaves me completely fucked in the mornings.
"All night threesomes can be tiring and this pair are as horny as weasels in heat! If there was a legal sex shop in Jakarta I’d buy a pair of dildo’s so they could get into the lesbian stuff and I could watch and wank myself off! That way I may be able to have the strength to wake up and go to work! "
Some people have all the luck!
Bandung Update
The West Java capital of Bandung has suffered a second blow to its pride -- and city spatial plan -- with acute traffic jams clogging the city that a few months ago was named Indonesia's dirtiest. If the country needed an enema, Bandung would be the first choice for the point of application.
The serious traffic problem has attracted the attention of Indonesia's Vice President who criticized Bandung saying it had one of the best urban planning education centres in the country at the Bandung Institute of Technology, yet still could not fix its traffic. "It should be noted here that the town planning is not wrong. Its implementation does not run as well as expected. The governor and the mayor do not apply the sciences taught at school," the VP said. the traffic could be seen as a mark of development and economic improvement in the city.
"The traffic jams happen because there are many knocking shops there. Before the opening of the whorehouses, go-go bars and strip joints, the traffic was not so uncontrollable," he said. The VP, enjoying a libation or two at a local “chrome pole salon” said it was regrettable that local officials were unable to manage the traffic.
It was noted that the Indonesian equivalent of Air Force One had managed to block a sizeable amount of the cities arteries after it skidded off the runway during landing.
The number of public and private vehicles, including motorcycles, registered with the Bandung Transportation Office in 2000 was around 457,000. With the number of vehicles in the city rising by an estimated 20 percent each year, traffic jams along Bandung's 1,169 kilometres of potholes are becoming difficult to prevent.
Recent surveys on the cities vehicle population are unable to clearly define current numbers as no-one bothers to register their car or motorbike any more. The arrival of tens of thousands of local tourists, especially from Jakarta on the weekend, only makes the situation worse.
A local trader suggested that it was essential that stopping the sale of the silly woollen hats that the women of Bandung wear would deter Jakartan’s from visiting and ensure that the roads were quiet at the weekends.
Dada Fuckwit, in charge of maintaining the potholes said his feelings were not hurt by the Vice President's comments because his municipality was still in the process of reorganizing the traffic. As to what that process is exactly, no-one questioned seemed to know.
Local police chiefs acknowledge that any improvement in the traffic situation would cause a severe drop in salary for the Traffic Cops as there would be less chance for extorting cash from “offenders”
"This motivates us not to deal with the problem as soon as possible," was the official police response.
The serious traffic problem has attracted the attention of Indonesia's Vice President who criticized Bandung saying it had one of the best urban planning education centres in the country at the Bandung Institute of Technology, yet still could not fix its traffic. "It should be noted here that the town planning is not wrong. Its implementation does not run as well as expected. The governor and the mayor do not apply the sciences taught at school," the VP said. the traffic could be seen as a mark of development and economic improvement in the city.
"The traffic jams happen because there are many knocking shops there. Before the opening of the whorehouses, go-go bars and strip joints, the traffic was not so uncontrollable," he said. The VP, enjoying a libation or two at a local “chrome pole salon” said it was regrettable that local officials were unable to manage the traffic.
It was noted that the Indonesian equivalent of Air Force One had managed to block a sizeable amount of the cities arteries after it skidded off the runway during landing.
The number of public and private vehicles, including motorcycles, registered with the Bandung Transportation Office in 2000 was around 457,000. With the number of vehicles in the city rising by an estimated 20 percent each year, traffic jams along Bandung's 1,169 kilometres of potholes are becoming difficult to prevent.
Recent surveys on the cities vehicle population are unable to clearly define current numbers as no-one bothers to register their car or motorbike any more. The arrival of tens of thousands of local tourists, especially from Jakarta on the weekend, only makes the situation worse.
A local trader suggested that it was essential that stopping the sale of the silly woollen hats that the women of Bandung wear would deter Jakartan’s from visiting and ensure that the roads were quiet at the weekends.
Dada Fuckwit, in charge of maintaining the potholes said his feelings were not hurt by the Vice President's comments because his municipality was still in the process of reorganizing the traffic. As to what that process is exactly, no-one questioned seemed to know.
Local police chiefs acknowledge that any improvement in the traffic situation would cause a severe drop in salary for the Traffic Cops as there would be less chance for extorting cash from “offenders”
"This motivates us not to deal with the problem as soon as possible," was the official police response.
A Grand Day Out!
Out It was just before noon when the blast shocked shoppers at the newly renovated mall in busy East Jakarta on a busy Saturday.Few people realized what had happened, however. For many, the idea of a bomb blast in their local mall was a remote one.
It is worth noting that there are not foreigners, no embassies, no major western business or financial institutions in this area. In fact, the local population is, in the majority, Indonesian
Muslim Cigarette vendor Uti Fuckwit, whose small kiosk sits in an alley next to Kramat Jati Indah Plaza, said the blast sounded like an exploding gas balloon. (Bear in mind that the vendors who sell party balloons here do not use an inert gas like helium for the balloons, in fact they often fill them with flammable gases, much to the amusement and subsequent third degree burns of the fuckwits who burst them with lit cigarettes)"But there was also a minor tremor, like an earthquake. I thought to myself, It can't be from a gas balloon," she said.
Her kiosk is around 20 meters away from the A&W restaurant where the explosion took place. "People shouted bomb, bomb, and soon people dragged out a man with a burned face," she said, adding that she had tried to get closer to the restaurant but failed.
At this point the massed rubber neckers thronged into the area to see the anticipated blood and gore.An A&W restaurant employee named Joko Fuckwit (who is also one of the luckiest men in Jakarta) said he had served the bomber, later identified as Muhammad Nuh Bastard, who bought a drink. "Fifteen minutes later he ordered food, but he seemed so sick that he nearly fainted before his order was ready," Joko told Metro TV.
This fucker had been sitting in a fast food joint, crammed with kids and families with a pipe bomb under his jacket, quite possibly shitting himself, but also relishing the prospect of the numerous virgins awaiting himself in the afterlife.
Diners and restaurant workers tried to help Nuh, but then saw red and black plastic straps protruding from his waist. (Various exclamations, most notably “Oh Fuck” resounded around the area)"It was so fast that we only heard the explosion," Joko said.
In my opinion he is a very lucky man.Nuh was left unconscious and seriously injured. No one else was harmed. The front window of the restaurant was cracked in the blast. Nuh was rushed to a nearby police hospital for treatment.
A worker at the hospital said the bomber had been operated on successfully and had regained consciousness.
While detectives and the bomb squad arrived quickly and sealed the area, more and more people came to gawk at the scene, having heard about the explosion on TV and the radio. Destiana Fuckwit, from Kalisari, Cijantung, said she had decided to bathe her children earlier than usual and then take her sons on her motorbike to see the bombing.
A great way to spend a Saturday afternoon I’m sure you will agree. Imagine banning cartoons from being watched at home because they are detrimental to a child’s education but allowing them to get dressed up to see a bomb site!
The wonderful Destiana continues….."My neighbor was hosting a get together with her family and they ended it early. Everyone went to Kramat Jati to see the bombing," she said.
Brilliant! Wish my mum had done that for me when I was a kid!
It is worth noting that there are not foreigners, no embassies, no major western business or financial institutions in this area. In fact, the local population is, in the majority, Indonesian
Muslim Cigarette vendor Uti Fuckwit, whose small kiosk sits in an alley next to Kramat Jati Indah Plaza, said the blast sounded like an exploding gas balloon. (Bear in mind that the vendors who sell party balloons here do not use an inert gas like helium for the balloons, in fact they often fill them with flammable gases, much to the amusement and subsequent third degree burns of the fuckwits who burst them with lit cigarettes)"But there was also a minor tremor, like an earthquake. I thought to myself, It can't be from a gas balloon," she said.
Her kiosk is around 20 meters away from the A&W restaurant where the explosion took place. "People shouted bomb, bomb, and soon people dragged out a man with a burned face," she said, adding that she had tried to get closer to the restaurant but failed.
At this point the massed rubber neckers thronged into the area to see the anticipated blood and gore.An A&W restaurant employee named Joko Fuckwit (who is also one of the luckiest men in Jakarta) said he had served the bomber, later identified as Muhammad Nuh Bastard, who bought a drink. "Fifteen minutes later he ordered food, but he seemed so sick that he nearly fainted before his order was ready," Joko told Metro TV.
This fucker had been sitting in a fast food joint, crammed with kids and families with a pipe bomb under his jacket, quite possibly shitting himself, but also relishing the prospect of the numerous virgins awaiting himself in the afterlife.
Diners and restaurant workers tried to help Nuh, but then saw red and black plastic straps protruding from his waist. (Various exclamations, most notably “Oh Fuck” resounded around the area)"It was so fast that we only heard the explosion," Joko said.
In my opinion he is a very lucky man.Nuh was left unconscious and seriously injured. No one else was harmed. The front window of the restaurant was cracked in the blast. Nuh was rushed to a nearby police hospital for treatment.
A worker at the hospital said the bomber had been operated on successfully and had regained consciousness.
While detectives and the bomb squad arrived quickly and sealed the area, more and more people came to gawk at the scene, having heard about the explosion on TV and the radio. Destiana Fuckwit, from Kalisari, Cijantung, said she had decided to bathe her children earlier than usual and then take her sons on her motorbike to see the bombing.
A great way to spend a Saturday afternoon I’m sure you will agree. Imagine banning cartoons from being watched at home because they are detrimental to a child’s education but allowing them to get dressed up to see a bomb site!
The wonderful Destiana continues….."My neighbor was hosting a get together with her family and they ended it early. Everyone went to Kramat Jati to see the bombing," she said.
Brilliant! Wish my mum had done that for me when I was a kid!
Wednesday, 8 November 2006
Tommy and the Cannibal
Tommy Soeharto, the son of an Indonesian ex President got a conditional release after serving two-thirds of a 10-year prison term for masterminding the murder of a Supreme Court justice who was investigating his business dealings. (He received a total of 37 months in sentence reductions, a bit like the serious discounts you get at department stores after Christmas).
Another inmate known only as Sumanto was also released recently, from a Prison in Central Java. Sumanto was jailed for eating the corpse of an 80-year-old women in 2003. He also ate two thigs who tried to rob him. He claimed that he liked eating cats, dogs, rats and snakes when human corpses were not available. Reasonable sounding chap to me!
Both Tommy and Sumanto received sentence reductions for good behaviour. Sumanto is completely different from Tommy. I think all the convicts and wardens in the prison wanted Sumanto to be released as soon as possible. (Even the most notorious prisoners there suddenly became very nice and religious when they were put in the same cell as
Tommy's freedom sparked controversy in society. During Soeharto's 32-year tenure, up to his fall in 1998, Tommy always received "presidential" treatment. Tommy, who was born in 1962, was always surrounded by people who treated him like a prince who could do no wrong and whose wishes should be fulfilled. Now, he must bear the burden of being known as the mastermind of a murder for the rest of his life. My personal opinion is that he does not give a fuck, when you’re a multi millionaire I imagine that speculation about your past business interests (criminal or non criminal) lie low on your priority list of things that worry you! Ask Chelsea Football Club if their owner has a clean bill of health.
The Soeharto children most certainly got the silver spoon treatment, young adults who easily got unbelievable projects like the monopoly on oranges, cloves, mining reserves, oil fields, TV & Radio etc. etc. Oh yes, I forgot, they also got “get out of jail early” cards!
What's the criteria for good behaviour, anyway? It's rather abstract. Only when you are in jail are you able to have a more concrete understanding of the two worlds. For Sumanto it was probably easier to demonstrate his good behaviour -- he succeeding resisting the urge to eat his fellow inmates.
And Tommy? He just used his card!
Who ya gonna feed?
Hundreds of poor people flocked to a
The Cioko festival at the temple, also coincides with the Buddhist Ulambana celebration.
The visitors vied with one another for the packages of basic necessities prepared by the Cioko/Ulambana organizing committee.
Soon after the giveaways, a paper replica of a 12-meter-long gold dragon boat and a seven-meter-tall effigy of the Lord of Evil, Fuckwit Bastardo Maximus, were burned as offerings.
"We believe that by burning these effigies, disasters will be averted and security and prosperity will come to this world," Atotal Fuckwit, who heads the organizing committee, told The Jakarta Post.
This year, feeding the ghosts day fell on Saturday. In
I’ma Fuckwit, a senior employee at the 317-year-old temple, said that among the Chinese community, the Cioko rite was observed to help neglected souls or ghosts that still roamed the world. Executed Falung Gung members were however not included by orders received from
According to Taoist beliefs, the torture that these neglected souls would encounter in the netherworld was postponed on the first day of the seventh month.
For the whole month following, these souls were allowed to return to the world. Here on earth, the faithful prayed for their ancestors either at home or through the Cioko rite held at temples and other places of worship. Financial offerings for services rendered by Chinese Hookers are also considered to be a valid form off prayer and offering.
The neglected souls are those that have received no offerings or prayers from their families. Because of this, they are hungry and roam the world and the festival is held to ensure that they do not harm the living. They even bribe ghosts here.
As part of the event, many basic commodities were distributed to homeless people living under bridges in Tangerang and
Ah -
Tuesday, 7 November 2006
Police target traffic offenders
Jakarta Police charged 187 traffic offenders in Cawang, East Jakarta, on Tuesday alone, indicating the unsafe road conditions in the area. (Understatement of the fucking year-the place is a zoo!)
A senior Jakartan Traffic Cop said recording so many violations in a single day was deeply worrying. ( As we discussed these issues, may staff arrived to make donations to the Traffic Police Charity Box)
He said the offenders were all drivers of public transportation vehicles, like buses and public minivans, who passed at unsafe speeds, ignored traffic signs or were driving without a license or registration documents. Each of these violators was given the opportunity to make amends with a spot fine and no receipt.
According to a spokesman, from the beginning of September to mid-October, police had recorded a staggering 8,195 traffic violations. Based on an average spot fine off 20,000 IR, the Charity Box may have benefited by upto US$ 18,000. Not bad for a single intersection!
It is claimed that 65 public transportation routes passed through the area, making it a "pseudo" terminal. I have seen with my own eyes the buses slowing down as they pass the police on duty and deliver a wad of Rupiah into the waiting long arm of the law. This has been perfected to a fine art, the bus never stopping and the cop never smiling until the money has been stashed!
"Inadequate infrastructure like broken traffic signs, potholes, poorly managed bus terminals, beggars, newspaper salesmen, cigarette salesmen, anything under the sub salesmen and street musician are also contributing to the problem," he said.
To overcome the problem, 200 police and public order officers were deployed to the area this week. This in effect made the collection of spot fines easier, however, brought traffic to a standstill as most motorists did not have the exact money and had to wait for change.
Thirty public order officers were assigned to deal with sidewalk vendors and 50 riot police to deal with thugs, while personnel from the police's intelligence and internal affairs divisions were sent out to tackle street crime and the problem of unscrupulous police. It is apparent that the intelligence and internal affairs officers (both of them) were overwhelmed by the task and finally joined in the feeding frenzy!
"We will continue the program until the area has been milked dry ," the Officer added..
A senior Jakartan Traffic Cop said recording so many violations in a single day was deeply worrying. ( As we discussed these issues, may staff arrived to make donations to the Traffic Police Charity Box)
He said the offenders were all drivers of public transportation vehicles, like buses and public minivans, who passed at unsafe speeds, ignored traffic signs or were driving without a license or registration documents. Each of these violators was given the opportunity to make amends with a spot fine and no receipt.
According to a spokesman, from the beginning of September to mid-October, police had recorded a staggering 8,195 traffic violations. Based on an average spot fine off 20,000 IR, the Charity Box may have benefited by upto US$ 18,000. Not bad for a single intersection!
It is claimed that 65 public transportation routes passed through the area, making it a "pseudo" terminal. I have seen with my own eyes the buses slowing down as they pass the police on duty and deliver a wad of Rupiah into the waiting long arm of the law. This has been perfected to a fine art, the bus never stopping and the cop never smiling until the money has been stashed!
"Inadequate infrastructure like broken traffic signs, potholes, poorly managed bus terminals, beggars, newspaper salesmen, cigarette salesmen, anything under the sub salesmen and street musician are also contributing to the problem," he said.
To overcome the problem, 200 police and public order officers were deployed to the area this week. This in effect made the collection of spot fines easier, however, brought traffic to a standstill as most motorists did not have the exact money and had to wait for change.
Thirty public order officers were assigned to deal with sidewalk vendors and 50 riot police to deal with thugs, while personnel from the police's intelligence and internal affairs divisions were sent out to tackle street crime and the problem of unscrupulous police. It is apparent that the intelligence and internal affairs officers (both of them) were overwhelmed by the task and finally joined in the feeding frenzy!
"We will continue the program until the area has been milked dry ," the Officer added..
Forced evictions start with the 'f' word
Jakarta may be almost half a millennium old, but when it comes to fire it is nothing more than a child whose fascination with burning stuff started at an early age.
But in a city where more than 300 fires break out every year, there are many reasons for playing with fire.
The most sinister of these is that Fire has become Jakarta's simplest method of urban renewal.
During the recent holidays, fire destroyed a number of houses in Central Jakarta, The three blackened outer walls of one of the houses -- all that was left behind -- provide a stark contrast to the imposing trade center standing behind them.
"We have been offered compensation for leaving the area several times, but are yet to come to an agreement," said Hardi Fuckwit, a resident of the isolated block of houses that had "spoiled the view" of Jakarta City Center.
The project's management, however, has denied any relation between the ongoing construction and the fire.
Revisiting a fire-ravaged market in South Jakarta's Melawai compound gives a pretty good idea of what lies ahead for these displaced individuals.
The fire, which occurred in late August 2005, claimed the life of a firefighter and razed several old blocks of Melawai market.
Surrounded by the makeshift stalls of traders from the old market, the site is on its way to becoming a hotel, new apartments and a shopping centre.
In January 2003, 111 kiosks in Senen Market in Central Jakarta were destroyed by fire. The Senen area is currently being redeveloped.
In February 2003, fire razed 2,200 kiosks in Southeast Asia's largest textile market, Tanah Abang in Central Jakarta. Two years later, a 14-story air-conditioned modern market stands on the site.
Forensic investigation of fires like those in Tanah Abang and Melawai generally state the cause and origin as a short circuit, or "unknown".
Occurring mostly in densely populated or slum neighborhoods, where the presence of short circuit faults in electrical cables or cords is a latent fire hazard, or in old marketplaces where fire safety systems are substandard, such a conclusion might be justified.
The Jakarta Fire Department data, where the cause of the fire has been investigated suggest that almost 70 percent of fires are caused by short circuits.
"We often run into problems investigating fires. The evidence may be incomplete because the building owners have already been in there, salvaging their belongings," stated a spokesman.
Of the 300 fires that are reported each year on average, less than half are investigated, while the cause of the others remains a mystery.
"Fire is indeed an easy way to wipe out an area without being caught as the evidence literally goes up in smoke," he added while manhandling containers of kerosene into the back of his pick-up truck.
Low-cost apartments in the city, for example, are almost always built on sites were squatter settlements were previously burned down.
As a final suggestion, the political fires are regarded as cases of arson! Despite being common knowledge, as long as there is no independent investigation of the cases, they will never be proven arson.
But in a city where more than 300 fires break out every year, there are many reasons for playing with fire.
The most sinister of these is that Fire has become Jakarta's simplest method of urban renewal.
During the recent holidays, fire destroyed a number of houses in Central Jakarta, The three blackened outer walls of one of the houses -- all that was left behind -- provide a stark contrast to the imposing trade center standing behind them.
"We have been offered compensation for leaving the area several times, but are yet to come to an agreement," said Hardi Fuckwit, a resident of the isolated block of houses that had "spoiled the view" of Jakarta City Center.
The project's management, however, has denied any relation between the ongoing construction and the fire.
Revisiting a fire-ravaged market in South Jakarta's Melawai compound gives a pretty good idea of what lies ahead for these displaced individuals.
The fire, which occurred in late August 2005, claimed the life of a firefighter and razed several old blocks of Melawai market.
Surrounded by the makeshift stalls of traders from the old market, the site is on its way to becoming a hotel, new apartments and a shopping centre.
In January 2003, 111 kiosks in Senen Market in Central Jakarta were destroyed by fire. The Senen area is currently being redeveloped.
In February 2003, fire razed 2,200 kiosks in Southeast Asia's largest textile market, Tanah Abang in Central Jakarta. Two years later, a 14-story air-conditioned modern market stands on the site.
Forensic investigation of fires like those in Tanah Abang and Melawai generally state the cause and origin as a short circuit, or "unknown".
Occurring mostly in densely populated or slum neighborhoods, where the presence of short circuit faults in electrical cables or cords is a latent fire hazard, or in old marketplaces where fire safety systems are substandard, such a conclusion might be justified.
The Jakarta Fire Department data, where the cause of the fire has been investigated suggest that almost 70 percent of fires are caused by short circuits.
"We often run into problems investigating fires. The evidence may be incomplete because the building owners have already been in there, salvaging their belongings," stated a spokesman.
Of the 300 fires that are reported each year on average, less than half are investigated, while the cause of the others remains a mystery.
"Fire is indeed an easy way to wipe out an area without being caught as the evidence literally goes up in smoke," he added while manhandling containers of kerosene into the back of his pick-up truck.
Low-cost apartments in the city, for example, are almost always built on sites were squatter settlements were previously burned down.
As a final suggestion, the political fires are regarded as cases of arson! Despite being common knowledge, as long as there is no independent investigation of the cases, they will never be proven arson.
Foot Massage Thievery
Wily thieves are offering to massage people's feet and then stealing their cell phones, the Tangerang Police say. (Thoughts, you’re sitting on a bus and a stranger offers to “massage” your feet – yeah – right)
"This is the new modus operandi for cell-phone theft in public minivans," precinct chief Adj. Comr. Fuckwit was quoted as saying..
Police arrested two men, aged 29 and 31, for the theft of a mobile phone. Passengers from the minivan brought them to the police station after they were beaten up by an angry mob. (Having witnessed this vigilante attitude before I imagine cuffing these dudes would have been pretty easy as they were most likely semi conscious after the beating).
Witnesses said one of the men offered to give a foot massage to a woman riding in a R-01 public minivan, on the Pasar Anyar-Jatake route.
While one man was massaging the victim's foot and talking to her, witnesses allege the other took the woman's phone from inside her bag.
After they alighted, the woman realized her phone had gone. Passengers and the crowd chased the men, who had the crap beaten off them before being taken to the police station..
Ahh – Indonesia!
"This is the new modus operandi for cell-phone theft in public minivans," precinct chief Adj. Comr. Fuckwit was quoted as saying..
Police arrested two men, aged 29 and 31, for the theft of a mobile phone. Passengers from the minivan brought them to the police station after they were beaten up by an angry mob. (Having witnessed this vigilante attitude before I imagine cuffing these dudes would have been pretty easy as they were most likely semi conscious after the beating).
Witnesses said one of the men offered to give a foot massage to a woman riding in a R-01 public minivan, on the Pasar Anyar-Jatake route.
While one man was massaging the victim's foot and talking to her, witnesses allege the other took the woman's phone from inside her bag.
After they alighted, the woman realized her phone had gone. Passengers and the crowd chased the men, who had the crap beaten off them before being taken to the police station..
Ahh – Indonesia!
Headlines you will never see in Jakarta
Man fined for urinating on the side of the street.
Low Tar Cigarettes in the shops by next year
East Java Traffic Police announce speeding crackdown
Immigration Department to streamline work permit applications
Special discounted price for expats
Prison guard confirms Tommy Soeharto was a bitch for at least seven inmates – in related news, researchers name virulent new strain of herpes after Tommy
Man fined for throwing garbage in river
Politician admits he's only in it for the money
Indonesia admits to having nuclear weapons for 3 decades
Expat complains about his high salary
Shocking comparison of what locals pay for housing vs. expats
Aid from foreign countries improves the lives of millions of Indonesians
Indonesian education system focuses on real skills to help graduates solve the country's problems
Honest Indonesian politician !
Ditches and rivers cleaned throughout Jakarta!
Man fined for driving a car without license or insurance
Jakarta Fire Brigade arrive in time to extinguish fire.
Topless Car wash opens in Pondok Indah.
Government Ministries free of corruption.
Traffic Police donate graft proceeds to charity.
Low Tar Cigarettes in the shops by next year
East Java Traffic Police announce speeding crackdown
Immigration Department to streamline work permit applications
Special discounted price for expats
Prison guard confirms Tommy Soeharto was a bitch for at least seven inmates – in related news, researchers name virulent new strain of herpes after Tommy
Man fined for throwing garbage in river
Politician admits he's only in it for the money
Indonesia admits to having nuclear weapons for 3 decades
Expat complains about his high salary
Shocking comparison of what locals pay for housing vs. expats
Aid from foreign countries improves the lives of millions of Indonesians
Indonesian education system focuses on real skills to help graduates solve the country's problems
Honest Indonesian politician !
Ditches and rivers cleaned throughout Jakarta!
Man fined for driving a car without license or insurance
Jakarta Fire Brigade arrive in time to extinguish fire.
Topless Car wash opens in Pondok Indah.
Government Ministries free of corruption.
Traffic Police donate graft proceeds to charity.
Friday, 29 September 2006
The Indonesian Vice President is a Pimp
It appears that Vice President Jusuf Kalla has finally lost his marbles.
Perhaps it could explain his otherwise offensive suggestion that tourism campaigns for the Middle East should highlight the availability of attractive women.
"The marketing needs a better campaign based on the visitor's appetite and segment," he said at a seminar on tourism promotion to the Middle East.
"If there are a lot of Middle East tourists traveling to Puncak to seek janda, I think that it's OK," he added, referring to the West Java mountain resort and using the Indonesian term denoting either widows or divorcees.
He said the tourists would bring numerous benefits to the women and their offspring, as well as the country's entertainment community.
"If the janda get modest homes even if the tourists later leave them, then it's OK. The children resulting from these relationships will have good genes. There will be more television actors and actresses from these pretty boys and girls," he said.
Kalla was referring to a common practice in some areas of West Java and Batam island, where local women engage in short-term relationships with foreigners, many of them businesspeople from the Middle East, after taking informal religious vows.
Although many Islamists say the arrangement avoids illicit sexual relations and provides income to poor families, women's rights activists contend it is a form of legalized prostitution, especially when minors are forced into the unions by their parents.
The Vice President said the focus of Middle Eastern tourism campaigns should not stereotype Arabs as devoutly religious people who would only spend their days at the mosque.
After providing a visa-on-arrival facility for several countries in the Middle East, the government expects to attract 300,000 visitors from the wealthy region this year, up from around 40,000 last year.
Middle Eastern tourists, feeling unwelcome in Europe and the United States after 9/11, are flocking to Southeast Asia, particularly Thailand and Malaysia. Thailand had almost 290,000 Middle Eastern tourists in 2004, a 42 percent jump from the previous year. Malaysia attracted almost 150,000 last year.
In a nutshell – Pimping for Tourism! I cant wait for the next election campaign banners!
Thursday, 28 September 2006
Enough to make you Boke!
Deep Fried Rat
4 mature rats or 8 small rats
10-15 garlic cloves, crushed
2 tbs. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
Skin and gut the rats, removing the head and toes. Mix garlic, salt, and pepper into a paste, spread on the meat, then place in direct sunlight for 6 to 8 hours, until dry. Fry in deep vegetable oil for about 6-7 minutes, until crispy and yellow in color. Serve with sticky rice, sweet-sour sauce, fish sauce, or a hot chili paste, and raw vegetables.
In Indonesia many eating traditions are related to social class and region. The Javanese and Balinese have Waroeng, a particular dining custom which takes place in their homes or in waroengs, simple traditional huts found in each village that serve as meeting places where the inhabitants can eat and talk together. This custom goes back several centuries to the days when the Hindu kingdom of the Majapahit still governed Java. When the Hindus were defeated and exiled to Bali in 1525, the tradition was carried with them. Today these waroengs are restaurants furnished with large tables and benches where people can gather for meals and discussion. The essential has not really changed, I would imagine that 500 years ago they were still stinking shitholes.
Indonesian food is supposed to be excellent and tasty, I for one have not really explored this fully, but some of it is OK. My premise is that if you don’t get the shits, don’t puke and don’t get the oral cavity stripped by the amount of Chilli in the food it may be considered passable. The national dish is called nasi goreng, fried rice with finely chopped meat, shrimps and egg, and Oh yes, and I nearly forgot, Chilli!
The food varies from island to island.
In Kalimantan, you can enjoy the biggest fresh water shrimp you've ever seen. (Basically the size of Lobsters – Prawns on steroids)
In Bali, enormous prawns and frog's legs from the rice paddies are a considered a special treat. (If it walks, crawls wriggles or squirms, catch the bastard and cook it)
Sumatra in general and the west coast around Padang in particular pride themselves on having the spiciest food in all of Indonesia. Nasi Padang is a specially spiced rice dish, and deng deng is a meat dish generously seasoned with hot chilies. (Read fucking Red Fucking Hot).
Fresh fish is a specialty of Sulawesi, as are grilled pork and buffalo - the meat is grilled in bamboo poles and generously sprinkled with tuak (palm alcohol). Now that stuff I do not mind, the only problem is if you get this on a kebab skewer, fresh from the BBQ there is a possibility that more exotic additives like tikus (field rat) and paniki (fruit bat) will be on the stick! . Oh yes, Sulawesi is not the place to be a dog! They are rather favoured as an appetiser!
For a quick bite to eat, the local population eat from the kakis limas (literally "five legs"): little mobile stalls where they buy rice and soups that are kept hot over charcoal. What you have to remember is that the water is not potable, at least not for westerners. It must be boiled first. But being Indonesian they tend to serve water that has been merely heated up. You have to ask for "medidih duapuluh menit," meaning water boiled for 20 minutes. Failure to do so ensures the shits like you have never had before.
Most of the pkace is, as youy will have realised a culinary adventure that I refuse to undertake.
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