E-Mail Errors and open mouth to change foot

I have a few friends who live in conditions that I can only describe as being similar to that of the famous “Young Ones” of BBC TV Fame.

Normally well adjusted, they all have extremely creative writing skills and are well known for practical jokes, each one becoming more elaborate than the last.

I received this from one of the household regarding the rent ….as soon as I read it I started to cringe, and I agree, faux- pas of the highest order took place and the writer, Mr South African Guy should be decorated in honour of this monumental fuck up!

Shared with his permission is the whole story! Names have been changed in order to protect the innocent. (One other little detail was also changed, but, even I would not print what was originally written)

So I've just made one of my biggest faux-pas's ever. I could just crawl under a rock and stay there forever.

Some background: My housemates were Dutch Guy, English Guy and & Kiwi Guy.  Kiwi Guy recently got married, moved out, and in moved Irish Guy. Mr Indo Guy is the owner of our house, our landlord. It is rent time so Mr Indo Guy sent a reminder to Kiwi Guy, who having moved out, forwarded it to English Guy. English Guy replied to Mr Indo Guy and cc'd us other housemates. Here is English Guy's reply::::

Hello Mr Indo Guy,

This is Mr. English Guy from the house. OK we're ready to make the payment now but just to inform you that Mr. Kiwi Guy has moved out now (he's got married!). Our new friend Mr. Irish Guy has moved in in his place. This is my e-mail address boss! I hope you had a nice time in the USA. Could you forward the account number that we should pay into Sir? 

Thanks a lot,

Mr. English Guy

Having it read this, and with too much time on my hands, I wrote back a rather naughty spoof email which I sent (I thought) to my fellow housemates. Unfortunately, I accidentally included Mr Indo Guy's email address also and so the following email was received not only by my housemates but by Mr Indo Guy himself:

Ok Mr Indo Guy. I think it's time to set a few things straight. First of all, you can shove your smug, condescending attitude right up the brown hole it came from. 

Just because your favourite housemate, Kiwi Guy has moved out, that is no reason to refer to us as a "ship without a rudder" or an "uninspired, leaderless bunch of shits".

I shall remind you that Mr Kiwi Guy was responsible for many of the woes that we have experienced as a household unit. I would go further and say that Dutch Guy (the tall one) has done more to aid the cohesiveness of our (your??) home. He routinely sorts out the bills, attends to any repairs, and swims naked in the pool to test its acidity with his super-sensitive penis.

Why you assume English Guy is "the natural successor to Kiwi Guy as house leader" confuses me. Perhaps his ownership of the only car in the house lends him an air of authority. Let me tell you though, Mr English Guy is NO Kiwi Guy.

I'm the first to agree with you that "that South African Guy” or something is an unfriendly, cowardly cnut who hides in his room whenever my wife and I pop in". True, but you don't see what goes on behind the scenes. I, for example, am the only house member who openly fondles our *pembantu  while she is asleep.

So fuck off Mr Indo Guy. The last straw was calling our newest house friend, Mr Irish Guy,  a "riverdancing leprechaun of a specimen" , "thicker than the average Indonesian".

Mr Irish Guy, for your knowledge, regularly presents cerebral general knowledge quizzes about Irish band U2.

So Mr Indo Guy, to sum up. You can suck Dutch Guy's bulbous member if you think you're going to get the rent money displaying your current attitude. Come back down to earth, bring your snooty wife with you, and then we can negotiate.

Regards

Mr South African Guy

*pembantu=maid

Oh MY !!!!!!!!! Don't know where to put myself....Here is Mr Indo Guy's next email::::

Hello guys,

So much amused, but sorry, I cannot reciprocate Mr South African Guy's good sense of humour. With thanks in advance, English Guy, you can send the sum to XXXXXXXXXX, A/C No. XXXXXXXX, Bank Mandiri

Mr Indo Guy

Guess it's time to start working on the apology but i'm not sure where to start.!!!!! What an idiot :(

Classic Stuff, I cringed all the way through…. I await with bated breath the next instalment from the house of horrors!