Just around the corner!

With most of us barely shaken by the last two earthquakes, we can look forward to our next set of calamities. It’s almost upon us, that time of the year when it starts to piss down big style, and yet again, no-one seems to give a fuck.

The big question is whether the city fathers can arouse enough activity to have the residents clean up the shit that they have dumped into the water ways and gutters over the summer and get these rubbish choked flow paths cleaned before the next floods come?

The Meteorology and Geophysics Agency (read woefully ineffective bunch of twats) have issued a warning “that heavy rainfall expected in November could result in flooding in a number of regions in the country”. Funny old thing that: this crap happens every year and they issue warnings, however, that may be due to the lack off memory retention in the area. (It’s known as the “Lupa” effect, Lupa being a uniquely Indonesian term for “I’ve forgotten” or “I do not want to do this so I will just ignore it and tell you I forgot”)

"The cause of flooding will be heavier rainfall than usual in these areas during the coming months," Hery Fuckwit, deputy assistant supervisor manager head of the observation division at the Meteorology and Geophysics Agency, was claimed to have said.

No shit Sherlock! Hery, I have some news for you, the rains are the same, it’s just the drainage is getting worse.

It is estimated that about 80 percent of the total 220 'periodical zones' in Indonesia will start entering the rainy season in October and November. A periodical zone is an area with consistency between the season and the actual climate, for the layman wet and dry seasons are as suggested “wet and dry”.

In fairness the BMG, along with the Public Works Ministry and the National Coordination Agency for Surveying and Mapping, has marked the potential flood areas into sub districts, which can assist in a measure of preparation for the onslaught. (And there are “bucket loads” of them.)

"We made the predictions based on our study of the global climate," Hery said, carefully wiping his crystal ball and putting the Ouji board back in his drawer.

A climate expert from the Bandung Institute of Technology, Zadrach L. Dupe (No shit, real name), said the warning from BMG should help people begin preparing now for possible flooding.

"We only have a few weeks left. If we want to prevent floods we have to engage in community services, such as cleaning up gutter and improving drainage systems."

Alternatively, how about teaching people where to dispose of their garbage, request the Jakartan authorities create a Waste Disposal Agency which works, build the proposed flood canal’s which would handle the excess waters and consider land management systems which prevent natures natural barriers from being developed for more high rise apartments and malls.

Seems pretty fucking straightforward to me!