Great Balls of "um, err" concrete

A university team has declared that recent measures to halt the mudflow in East Java have had some success, while a political party has called for the area to be declared a national disaster.

The team, from the Bandung Institute of Technology (ITB), said Tuesday that the flow of hot mud coming from a botched gas exploration well in Sidoarjo, East Java, has slowed since the team began to insert large concrete balls into the well.

Bagus Fuckwit, head of the team, said that a smaller amount of mud had been recorded over the last week. "However, we're still evaluating the trends recorded, in line with our field observations," he said in Sidoarjo.

The ITB team has so far inserted 138 chains of balls. Eventually somewhere between 500 and 1,000 balls will be placed in the hole.


Rudi Fuckwit, a spokesman for the National Mudflow Mitigation Team in Sidoarjo, said he could not speculate about the results of the ITB team's work. "It still needs further evaluation, but we are optimistic and committed to continuing our work until we succeed," he said.

Chief Sgt. General Captain Major Fuckwit, a soldier stationed at the team's media center, was not so optimistic about the work. He said local soothsayers had said that the spirits who lived in the crater would be angry after being hit by the balls.

"The hot mud explosion happened because the spirits in the crater are angry. The insertion of the balls will only spark more anger. The soothsayers have already said there will be anew and much bigger burst. I believe this," he said.

The locals also noted that Lapindo Brantas "is believed to have triggered the gushing mud", and said that the company must not hand over its responsibilities to the government.

Good Thinking Batman, this means that fuck all will be done…..

It is estimated that the mudflow, which started around nine months ago, was costing the province Rp 500 billion (US$54 million) a day, with income from tourism dropping by around 10 percent.