Formula Bajaj

After the resounding success of the 2nd Annual Bajaj Grand Prix last month, the consensus of opinion was that the existing course left much to be desired and a more formidable challenge was required.

To put all of these things into perspective it is important that the rules and regulations for this sporting spectacular are explained and understood.

The Bajaj Grand Prix requires that drivers be completely blotto and effectively legless in order to comply with FBA (Formula Bajaj Association) specifications.

Drivers are required to submit a bond of One Million Rupiah to cover potential damage to their chosen Bajaj.

Drivers cannot nominate their Bajaj until 15 minutes before race start time, only Bajaj available within the vicinity of the race track are eligible for consideration as a race vehicle.

Bajaj emission levels are to be inspected prior to start of race to ensure maximum pollutants and Bajaj with a functioning exhaust system are to be disqualified.

Bajaj with working indicators (an unlikely scenario I admit) are to be disqualified.

Contestants who are able to walk unaided to their vehicle are to be disqualified.

Here’s the real deal! An Ozzie chap who shall remain nameless (Papa Lou) decided that a Bajaj Race was a great idea. This of course was an idea which sprung to mind after umpteen frothy glasses in the Blok. Three sheets to the wind, the contestants ventured into the street, cornered a number of Bajaj and proceeded to co-erce said Bajaj Drivers to allow the crazy Buleh (Foreigners) to drive the vehicles around Blok M, completely pissed.

After much discussion and waving of lots of bank notes, the drivers were convinced that this was a far more lucrative option than driving around looking for legitimate passengers.

Without much further ado, the boys ordered the drivers into the back seat of the Bajaj, and the first Jakarta Invitational International Bajaj Grand Prix was underway.

Hurtling around Blok M at One o’clock in the morning, a bunch of drunken Schumakers swerved their way through every chicane, traffic light and pedestrian crossing, narrowly missing the traffic from Blok M Bus Terminal and the Pasaraya Pit Lane, the winner being first back to the Sportsman’s Bar in an undamaged Bajaj.

With the success of the inaugural event, the second of these extravaganzas took place last month, although lack of road works, high quality roads and zero traffic to interfere with diminished the pleasure.

Having fully researched all options, Kemang has been nominated as the alternative venue and the upcoming Kemang Festival promises to provide the occasion for the third (now Bi-Annual) Jakarta Invitational International Bajaj Grand Prix.

The rules shall remain unchanged and the course conditions are likely to favour the more intoxicated of the drivers, the map below showing the proposed route In conclusion we can only pray that on the chosen day it rains like buggery so that the Bajaj running on “wet tyres” rather than “slick’s or intermediates” will be able to demonstrate the advantage on the treacherous Kemang circuit.

Mr. Ecclestone look out, the future is on its way and F1 may die a death when the world experiences “Formula Bajaj” for the first time.