Wednesday, 29 October 2014


Lantern Madness




More than 100 flights at Chiang Mai International Airport have been cancelled and 50 flights have been rescheduled during next week's Loy Krathong festival.The move was taken as a safety measure to ensure planes avoid the lanterns released to celebrate the event, according to the airport.
Almost 20,000 passengers are affected by the flight cancellations and the airport will lose about 2 million baht in revenue, said airport director Group Captain Wisuth Chantana 
During the festival last year, a total of 1,419 lanterns fell in to the Chiang Mai International Airport area, according to Gp Capt Wisuth.
The lantern issue was also discussed at the cabinet meeting on Tuesday.
Deputy government spokesman Sansern Kaewkamnerd said the cabinet agreed to the safety measures which stipulate that lanterns can only be released after 9pm between Nov 5-7.
Meanwhile, the Bangkok Metropolitan Administration (BMA) has banned people from releasing lanterns on Nov 6, Loy Krathong day, over key historical areas as well as government offices, airports, tall buildings and residential areas of the city.
Doubt very much that any bans will be policed, hard to break the habits of a lifetime...., 

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Whodunnit!

An angry mob surrounded the offices of Greenpeace Indonesia yesterday in what some are viewing as a "hired help" demonstration having been commissioned.


The potential candidates who ordered the hit include:


Mattel "Barbie destroys natural forests and pushes rare species such as tigers to the brink of extinction," Greenpeace Indonesia forest campaigner Bustar Maitar said.


Sinar Mas (APP is the Pulp and Paper arm of this Conglomerate within Indonesia): "APP is bad news for Indonesia's forests. It treats Indonesia as nothing more than a vast disposable asset, grabbing rainforests that are vital to forest communities," Maitar said.


No matter who, it seems that anyone who attempts to save the natural resources within Indonesia ultimately gets attacked, dismissed, transferred or just generally derided such that any impact that they may have had is marginalised.

Yesterday, it was the turn of Greenpeace to feel the heat, although, funnily enough it appeared to be an attempt at extortion rather than "negative selling" with legendary Jakarta thugs the FBR (Betawi Brotherhood Forum) making all the noise.

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Known locally as rent a mob, the FBR are known to turn up, make amusing unreal demands and then adopt a threatening stance when they are treated as a petulant child.  Their stance yesterday was that Greenpeace was an illegal organisation as they had not registered with the Jakarta City organisation. 

Greenpeace spokeswoman Nur Hidayati retorted with the fact that they had, as required by law, registered with the Minstry of Justice and Human Rights.

The piece below is from today's Jakarta Globe:

An FBR spokesman yelled at Nur Hidayati, saying her response was “arrogant” and indicated that the NGO was concerned about being audited.
The Greenpeace representative said they had nothing to hide and each year received 50,000 individual donations in Indonesia alone.
Greenpeace has recently been in the news for its sustained campaign against the palm oil industry in Indonesia, in particular deforestation activities by major palm oil companies, including Sinar Mas.
FBR spokesman Fajri Husbin demanded that Greenpeace stop spreading negative stories about Indonesian companies, particularly those that created local jobs.
Protesters outside the offices also demanded Greenpeace employees sing the national anthem and recite the state ideology Pancasila and if they could not, face eviction from Indonesia.
 Love it here. No matter what goes on there's always a whiff of WTF ......

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

One mans fag is another mans medicine!

I quit smoking at 7:36pm on the 6th of April 2010 and have not indulged in a cigarette since then. One single draw on a cigarette about a month later was all the encouragement I needed to stay away!


However, the people in this country have differing ideas on the effects of tobacco, so much so that they use it to cure cancer!





The tobacco industry is huge here and the Indonesian governments new tobacco bill aimed at reducing the amount of tobacco consumed in an attempt to stave of future health problems is under attack from the farmers who claim ( quite correctly I imagine) that there will be massive job losses.


What better way to protest than show that you have faith in your product!


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Figures suggest that kids start smoking around 10 years old and that approximately 30% of Indonesians smoke at least 12 cigarettes a day!. Nice local market to have, but, the governments plan to eliminate Tobacco Advertising, prohibit smoking in public and put the obligatory diseased lung shots on the fag packet will cause a gaping revenue hole for the local manufacturers.


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With the government at odds to save some of the 400,000 people a year who die from smoking related illnesses or to consider the tax revenues from this industry there are tough decisions to be made and once again, Indonesia proves that it can pretend to do the right thing while ignoring the problem.


Hence the reason for the Smoking Hospital being mentioned earlier.  It has all the permits, health credentials and is allowed to operate as a health care facility and is unlikely to be closed.


Cancer. no probs. Let me get a wadge of smoke in your earhole....


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Piles, we got you covered, let me inject some of this shit into your big toe!


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Sort of says it all.....Indonesia, never a dull moment.

Sunday, 25 April 2010

Not as far away as one would think!

My mother came to visit, the usual stuff was planned, visit to Bali, shopping, see her grandchild's school and so on. I re-discovered that there was a limit to what one could actually do in Jakarta before the traffic wore one down and that even if the Monas is a "must see" that the one hour trek to see it becomes tedium of the highest order.

Inspiration came via a glance at the hills on my way to work last Wednesday. One of these bright and clear Jakarta mornings showed the Gunungs in the distance and I knew instantly where we were heading that afternoon.

Taking the Jagorawi Toll, a journey which I have only made three times, two for the A1 Motro races and one for the obligatory visit to Tamam Safari, we chose not to take the well trodden Bogor / Puncak / Tamam Safari road and instead headed right at the junction and made for Ciawi.

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As soon as the dual carriageway stopped it became apparent that the decision to avoid the more common tourist route was a good one as the road narrowed and the small market town ahead bustled with "real kampung" activity (as compared to Jakartan kampung activity)

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Between the small villages, paddies, hill's and landscapes changed with each kilometre travelled, no two vita's were the same...

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The ubiquitous handicraft stores were strewn along the roads, however, not so much "in your face" as Bali can be....

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Garden Furniture....

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WTF, still never figured this stuff out...

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Rattan....

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Pottery....

Meanwhile, as we travelled, the little bit's of landscape which makes this place unique unfolded...

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Downhill....

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Uphill....

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The strange multi-storey living accomodations...

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Bamboo Car Ports....

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More high rise housing....

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Wobbly Roofs

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Cock Fighting!

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Just houses and mountains...

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More Paddies...

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More mountains and clouds....

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Mosques under construction...

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Small hidden Kampungs

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And finally ending up South of Bogor.

All in all, a three and a half hour trip well worth making...I should do this more often methinks....

Thursday, 25 February 2010

Giving it "back" to the Man!

With age comes wisdom, and, it seems in the case of Patih Laman, almost 90 years old and still capable of raising two fingers to authority that this is as true now as it ever was.

Patih is the leader of the Talang Malak Tribe in Sumatra and has won an award for conservation efforts in the Bukit Tigapuluh National Park where he and his kinsmen live.

However, recently he made the journey from the forest to the Provincial Governors Office to hand the coveted award back and ask that it be sent back to Jakarta, presumably with a note saying “Shove it up yer arse”

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Patih was displaying his disappointment on the lack of control that the government has with illegal logging operations in the park. Specifically he was disgusted that having saved and conserved over 1,800 hectares of the once massive Penyabungan and Penganan jungle the Government’s inaction toward checking deforestation in his area has caused devastating deforestation.

Putting the problem in perspective is that although he has saved quite a substantial amount of forest land, the surrounding area which consists of 104,933 hectares in Tunu River, 98,577 hectares in Durian Jajar and 21,901 hectares in Kelumbuk Tinggi Baner, has all been converted into oil palm plantations. The rest of the non national park land has been given over to paper production.

Strangely, the areas on the map below which have a red border are areas where the pulp and paper manufacturers are raping the forest are also among the areas where the majority of wildlife sightings have been made.

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The tribe who have lived in the forests for many generations used to grow and tend Sialang Tree’s, a preferred home for Honey Bee’s. These tree’s are spread a distance apart to allow a large and varied coverage area for the bees, which, when the honey is ready would supply about 150 kgs of Honey from each tree on each harvest. Sadly, it seems only ten such tree’s exist.

As is the way of things here, it seems that the local government, despite claiming to actively promote conservation, refused to see Patih and he left the award with lower level staff who presumably now have it hanging proudly on their office wall.

That Sinking Feeling!

There’s an awful lot of talk and not a lot of doing! Yes, it’s that time again when the floods, landslides, storms and the numerous other contributors to Jakartan misery all join forces at the same time.

Flood relief canals are yet to be finished, waterways that were dredged are once again laden with the plastic debris that Jakarta seems infested with, Dengue Fever strikes again in the slums of East Jakarta and Bekasi and, it is thought that the worst has yet to come.

Yet, despite the torrential downpours, the city is dying through lack of, yes, you guessed it…water.

It is currently thought that Jakarta is sinking at a rate of between 5-10 cm per year and, given these figures it is clear that in the not too distant future the floods of today will appear miniscule compared to the problems a city below sea level faces.

Groundwater extraction is considered the main culprit, however, it is estimated that more than half the city relies upon the subterranean water sources.

To get a better idea about groundwater usage and it’s sustainability I found this picture on Wiki and scarily, it shows how the aquifers replenish and more importantly, demonstrates that unless carefully used the system can fall into the millennia curve which is where the pundits claim Jakarta is heading – fast!

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Estimates to connect houses with mains water and sewage systems are astronomical and no-one, not even private industry can see a way of making any return on investment on a project whose scale cannot be properly imagined.

Think tanks have another option; let’s move Jakarta away from Jakarta. Not strictly speaking what they intend, but, the movement of political power from Jakarta to a fresh site would allow a new start with an infrastructure designed to handle the requirements that a modern capital city needs.

Locations in Central Java and even Kalimantan have been suggested; hopefully with an eye on what impact such a move would have on the existing area, yet, it seems that on the whole such a scheme is destined to failure, mostly due to “what will we do with the old place”?

It is off course about money. Who will pay for a relocation?

If we don’t move, who will pay for the MTR the city so greatly requires?; who will pay for the large scale water conservation programme that is required?; who will pay for the increased green area’s that will be needed to soak up the cities daily figure of 13,000 tons of CO2 emissions?; who will pay for the clean water and sewage systems mentioned above?; and, perhaps more importantly, who will NOT pay for the shortcuts, permissions and general skulduggery involved in any project that is approved.

Ironically, Jakarta stands on a brink, stark choices have to be made and as of today there is no single body that has the power or financing to oversee such an ambitious plan and execute these schemes in a co-ordinated manner.

Until that body is created, it seems we must endure the shitty air (347 days out of 365), be prepared for 2014 when the entire city is expected to become gridlocked, expect to be one of the third of the population who are sickened by respiratory illness once a month, and as for the shits, get used to them, they may be here for many years to come.

Top Investment Tip: Buy shares in any company who manufactures a product that will stop you coughing your guts up or shitting yourself. I foresee a continued demand for these Jakartan essentials.

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

More Genies, a touch of Rape and may I check your bottom?

Rape, Child Abuse and more Rape have been the recent headlines over here, a serial Killer violating and mutilating young boys, a schoolgirl being raped by genie and the Ache Sharia Police arresting a couple for immorality and subsequently gang raping the girl.

The worst part of it all is that although these crimes upset pretty well everyone, it is the “kick reaction” from the authorities that pretty well sums up how fucked up things can and often do get here.

Take the Street Kids who are being abused. They need help? Of course they do, so here’s what the plan is!

From the Jakarta Globe

The Jakarta city administration said on Wednesday that it would join a police initiative to round up street children and physically examine their anuses for evidence of sexual abuse, a move that the country’s leading nongovernmental child-rights organization opposes as abuse.

The move follows a police announcement on Tuesday that street children would have to submit to rectal examinations in an effort to identify victims of sexual abuse.

Budi Hardjo, head of the city’s Social Affairs Agency, said that during the citywide search for street children, the Jakarta Health Agency and the Jakarta Police would cooperate in an effort to find possible child abusers. He said that 500 personnel from different agencies would be involved.

The planned round-up is in response to the arrest of Bayquni, 49, who is also known as Babe, an accused serial killer who allegedly killed at least 10 male street children. He admitted to police that he sexually abused the corpses of his victims.

As a first step, Budi said, the city would begin a sweep today of all five municipalities in Jakarta. He said children identified by the city would be interviewed to find out why they were living on the street and undergo a health examination.

“When we find them, we will look for the reason they are on the street, whether they are from broken homes, runaways or victims of human trafficking,” Budi said.

Budi said children caught up in the city dragnet would be examined both psychologically and physically. He said they would be given a rectal examination to determine whether they had been sexually abused.

Bloody Hell, that one had the Child Rights Campaigners up in arms in no time. Moral outrage hit the streets, the newsstands and presumably the massage parlours as well.

Less than 24 hours later…. From the Jakarta Post, the sound of Jack boot’s and brown shirts retreating from the fray!

Jakarta Police announced Thursday that they have withdrawn from the city administration plan to hold physical screening of street children across Jakarta to seek out potential abuse victims.

Jakarta Police chief detective Sr. Comr. Idham Azis said that there have been a “mistake in communication and understanding” on the plan.

“If other government institutions decide to go on with the plan, we hereby declare we are not involved,” he said as quoted by kompas.com.

Not quite what the Children’s Rights Groups wanted but certainly the cops new that they would have been on the wrong side here. It is not as yet clear whether the Vatican has been contacted to see if they have any volunteers to replace the police in this execise.

If there were any “priests” available, they could possible stand by for an exorcism, specifically of a head teacher (of an Islamic Boarding School) in downtown Tangerang who blamed his “Pet Genie” for the rape of a schoolgirl. Better still, he has openly agreed to a request from the victim’s mother that that the police obtain his DNA in order to prove his innocence, presumably Genies have different DNA….

From the Jakarta Globe…

The principal of an Islamic boarding school in Tangerang is vigorously denying allegations that he raped one of his teenage students. His defense: His “pet genie” did it.

A 15-year-old girl, identified only by the initials KHF, told Kompas.com that she was raped at the school last July. She said she had gone to the office of the principal, identified as HDN, to report that she was quitting the school’s student body.

But she claimed the principal changed the topic of conversation by saying that one of his genies had a crush on her. He reportedly promised that she would be given certain “metaphysical powers” if she agreed to have sex with the genie. The girl said she refused the offer but did not tell anyone about the encounter.

A few days later, on July 19, she said she had gone to the pantry and bumped into the principal. She said she had kissed his hand as a sign of respect and then began to feel disoriented. The next thing she remembered was waking up in the principal’s office, exhausted and with pain in her lower body.

The girl said she did not tell anyone about what had happened. Eventually, however, she confided in her mother, Khadijah, who was suspicious about her daughter’s growing stomach. Khadijah took her to the doctor and was told that her daughter was six months pregnant.

The principal has denied raping the girl and reportedly told her parents that his genie was responsible for the pregnancy. He said the genie must have been angry because it had not been fed for months. He is understood to have said the genie “borrowed” his body at the time of the rape.

In response, the girl’s family challenged him to take a DNA test. He agreed and said he was sure the test would reveal the true culprit, the girl’s mother said.

Khadijah and her husband reported the case to the Indonesian Legal Aid and Human Rights Association (PBHI) in Jakarta, which in turn filed a complaint with the Jakarta Police.

The crazy thing about it all is that people trust and believe in these “possibilities” and rarely question those in authority who rationalise “crimes” by using spiritual belief and fear of magic as the factors involved.

These stories abound, the cultural mix which often causes Indonesians to revert back to long remembered Animistic beliefs and blend these with current religious thinking is strange, and surprisingly quite common.

What is new however is that this “school of mixed belief” was questioned and considered unhealthy in Post Civil war / Tsunami Aceh. While rebuilding their lives, a differing Islamic model has been introduced which it was hoped would create a more civilised and law abiding region.

The Sharia Laws, which were approved within Aceh but have not been ratified by the government in Jakarta allowed the creation of a Sharia Police Force, whose function is to be defenders of the regions morality.

This force operates under the controversial Qanun Jinayat, Aceh’s set of local bylaws which were raised to to replace parts of the Criminal Code with aspects of Islamic law for Acehnese Muslims. This was approved by Aceh’s legislative council last September, however the Achenese Governor decided after international outrage from Civil Rights Groups based on the sentences which became available for use against transgressors.
The Qanun allows the local courts to sentence transgressors to delights such as stoning and lashing, for offenses such as adultery, premarital and homosexual sex. The bylaws also mandate corporal punishment for rapists, child molesters, drinkers of alcohol and gamblers.

In addition, segregation of the sexes is encouraged, tight trousers, loose or skimpy clothing, holding hands, homosexuality, and an as yet unknown number of interpretations of these bylaws can cause the Sharia Cops to chastise, warn or arrest you without any form of charge being required.

Last week, a young couple who were probably only holding hands on the beach were arrested as “Fornicators” and escorted to the local nick for re-education. The couple were separated and the three officers involved decided to undertake this deeply important re-education upon themselves, despite the couple not having been presented in front of a court. It is claimed that after this re-education they went off duty only to return later.

Their return was not out of any form of duty to ensure that the lessons of Sharia had been understood, specifically by the 20 year old female. In short, they brutally raped the girl, taking turns and repeatedly violating her.

Needless to say they were discovered, arrested (well two of them at least, the third accused has legged it) and rather than being charged under Sharia Law they were charged under Criminal Code, Indonesia’s Civil Law. (Maximum Sentence 12 years)

The Sharia Law in this case would have been Article 29, which stipulates that those convicted of rape can receive 100 to 200 lashes, or a minimum prison sentence of 100 months and maximum of 200 months.

The row rages on, those who believe in the good of Sharia want the accused tried under the Qanun Jinayat and punished to the maximum severity that this law allows, then, there is the official Indonesian Law which the police claim is the only Law which can be applied in this case.

Whichever way you look at it, I would hate to be an Indonesian Cop. Duties include checking little boys bums, DNA swab testing genies and all the while wondering which particular book of law applies.

Bugger that!

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Who Ya Gonna Call?

It’s all gone supernatural in Indonesia this week with two stories hitting the press showing how deep seated the beliefs in Animism and the Afterlife sit within the peoples psyche.

Firstly, there were ghosts nicking TV sets, presumably to watch pirated copies of 2012 and Twilight – New Moon.

As reported in the Jakarta Globe…..

The pocong, a ghost clad in a white burial shroud, has reportedly been preying on the village of Dramaga Tengah in West Java, which is home to more than 150 families, for the past month. But in the past two weeks, it has begun to steal personal property.

The spate of ghostly thefts, according to detik.com, prompted about 30 armed villagers to attempt to lure the pocong out from hiding using a fake pocong — essentially a man dressed in a shroud who jumps around the village.

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“The people initiated the search for the pocong because many homes reported they had lost their television sets,” Wawak, one of the villagers, told the news portal on Wednesday. The operation lasted several hours but failed to capture any apparition.

In folk mythology, particularly in Java and Sumatra, a dead person will transform into a pocong if the bounds of its shroud become untied after the body is buried. This is related to a Muslim tradition that requires the deceased to be wrapped in a cloth when they are buried.

Because pocong are completely bound, they can only move around by jumping or flying.

One would think that in the 21st Century that these beliefs may have been swept away with science and modern ideologies, but, it appears not and, to cap it all off there’s more!

Today, the 9th of December is World Anti-Corruption Day and there are threats of protests, even riots supposed to take place on the streets of Jakarta amid scandals, assassinations and even “hand jobs” all linked in one way or another to corruption.

Among the demonstrators are a group from an Islamic Boarding School who do not believe that the 13,000 police who have been deployed to ensure that there are no troubles will be able to do their job properly.

I don’t know about you but I would have thought that 13,000 of Jakarta’s finest, most probably dickied up with riot gear should be able to contain most anything, but, they are not capable of fighting the biggest threat – BLACK MAGIC.

Accordingly, the head cleric of this particular school has re-inforcements consisting of GENIES!

As reported by KOMPAS news agency!

A thousand djinns have been summoned to escort the demonstrations of the world antigraft day in Jakarta, Wednesday. The head cleric of Islamic Boarding-school Dzikrus Syifa' Brojomusti, in Lamongan, K.M. Muzakkin, claims to have a Moslem devout djinn that offers alternative ways to assist the antigraft day celebration going in Jakarta.

"This morning we have sent a thousand djinns to the demonstration areas in Jakarta, led by Ghulam Akhmad, a djinn from Egypt who once possessed one of my demented subordinate. This effort is merely to participate and support the demonstrants and the government through another dimension to fight corruption in Indonesia."

The deployed djinns are all trained and professionals, in social sciences, politics, law, security, theology, medication and other fields. So if a demonstrant is possessed or if there is black magic impeding the situation then the djinns from Dzikrus Syifa' school is ready to anticipate the situation.

"We don't want this celebration and endeavor to be ruined by other parties that might provoke and cause riots. The 1,000 Islamic djinns are all ready to secure the great demonstration today."

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Way to go! Visions of Ghostbusters, Gremlins and a Thousand Horsemen of the Apocalypse are filling my mind. Despite the fact that I vowed to avoid the town today I think I’ll take a spin down to demonstration central just in case I miss the deployment of the ephemeral armies commanded by Ghulam Akhmad running amuck outside the Presidential Palace.

Indonesia…don’t you just love it!

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Now what was I looking for?

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In breaking news this morning, Indonesia’s new Communication and Information Technology Minister claimed that Indonesia has the largest number of people accessing pornographic Web sites in the world.

“To date, Indonesia has the largest number of people who access porn sites,” said Tifatul, the former head of the Islam-based Prosperous Justice Party.

Was he able to back this up? Did he have the number of Indonesian hit’s on Youporn, Red Tube, Playboy, Meatspin….emm, err, no!

This is probably because the hard (core) fact’s to substantiate this statement will not actually exist anywhere out-with his imagination.

The Jakarta Globe explained that the minister was “an avid Internet user with his own Facebook and Twitter accounts, as well as a blog” and further mentioned that “he was concerned that the Internet was being used by people in the country for little else besides accessing pornographic materials.”

The best bit was “He said this concern had prompted him to launch a campaign aimed at teaching people how to use the Internet as an online source of useful information.”

OK, despite having the crappiest connection speeds, despite the relatively low number of on-line users, (see here… Asian Internet Statistics and that is only for Asia) and even trying to back this statement using Google Trends and some very compelling “XXX” rated search terms – Indonesia rated overall extremely low in the “ porno download status table”

In fact the highest rating that Indonesia achieved was # 4th place in any of the rankings. (Extra points if anyone can answer the search category) Worth noting that Ireland gets some very high scores, along with Pakistan!

He has however raised the image in my head of the many devout people within the country performing searches for offending websites, offensive images and offensive writings just to firmly establish how bad things are in the big bad internet.

I could give them a few tips, but, I suppose half the fun is in the search itself. Happy browsing!

Monday, 2 November 2009

Bit's and Pieces....

Tuning Up....

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Jamu Ladies...the Medical Backpackers (Taste at your peril)

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Traditional Herbal remedies delivered to your door/

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Deep Fried....Roadside Cholestorol, ready to go!

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Crowded Buses...Not in this town!

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Fireworks! Illegal...not in this town!

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Back to the Grind!

I made a journey down to a watering hole in Kemang the other day after twelve days in Thailand. Bangkok, once marked as a city with major traffic woes is nothing compared to the traffic flow (or lack of it ) in Kemang. Despite not liking Bangkok much, it was a pleasant break from Jakarta and my “stress” levels were lowered dramatically, unfortunately only for a short while.

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A brief respite was all it was! Current estimates envisage a complete gridlock within five years with EVERY road, street, thoroughfare and pavement jam packed with vehicles, all day, every day. I’m positive that the pavements carry as many motorcycles as the roads do and the ignorant fuckwits bash the horn, beeping pedestrians out of the way, even those on crutches (as I am at the moment).

Meanwhile, rather than considering ways to alleviate the problem, the city administration chose to pass a law which demanded the disabled wear signs to let motorists know their condition when crossing roads. (Which remind’s me, I now qualify, if only I knew where to get my sticker).

Not a mention of leveling footpaths, no extra bridges, no road widening and improvements, no pushing forward the Mass Rapid Transit system (MRT) no removal of older polluting vehicles, nothing sensible at all….

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The Jakartan obsession with vehicle ownership has ridden roughshod over town planning and it does not appear to be headed for change anytime soon. Urban Reconstruction, Infrastructure Development, Safety…fuck it, low on the list of priorities.

Catching beggars, attempting to prosecute the “Anti Corruptors” (obviously they were getting to good at their jobs) finding ways to slow the disbursement of relief aid and money to disaster area’s, and in my mind the best, closing the cities major recreational area (a central park which houses the Monas Tower) because of kids having a quick shag in the bushes. - these are the real priorities.

Sadly, it seems that congestion is here to stay…..

This of course is not a problem for those with money. Helicopter taxi’s are a growing business and, I found out over a beer in De Hooi a few weeks ago that if you wanted to hire police motor cycle outriders to clear a path for you that this option was only a phone call (and a relatively small amount of money) away. Where there’s a wallet there’s a way!

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Even the economy suffers! Recent studies have demonstrated that if the roads were better planned, if the traffic jams were reduced, if free flowing traffic could be managed, if a limit on the number of vehicles could be enforced (all big if’s I may add) then the Jakartan economy would save approximately US$ 822 million which includes less fuel consumption, less health related problems due to pollution and less downtime at work through lost man hours.

Meanwhile, it’s back to same old, same old and lashings of it. If anyone knows where I can register for my Gimp Certificate to let the motorcyclists be aware that I can only jump out of the way so fast, please drop me a message….

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Sunday, 1 November 2009

Springtime for Hitler in Pattaya

As I arrived in Pattaya last week I discovered that these was a bit of controversy regarding the latest “tourist attraction” .

On Sukumviht Road, a number of billboards had been erected advertising the arrival of “Loius Tussaud’s” new Waxwork museum. Featuring Bruce Lee, Michael Jackson and more memorably, Adolf Hitler, each hoarding was emblazoned with the name of the deceased and “is not dead” Bear in mind that this message was in Thai, not English.

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Fair enough, but, while Bruce and Michael had no problems, old Adolf however had a storm brewing over his upraised arm. The busybodies in the world soon let everyone know exactly what the translation was and “boom” moral outrage soon rained down on the hapless museum management.

The Bangkok Post newspaper quoted German Ambassador Hanns Schumacher as saying he told officials in Pattaya, “this kind of utterly tasteless advertisement would hurt the feelings of many people” and asked that the billboard be taken down.

Israeli Ambassador Itzhak Shoham also was quoted saying he requested the same. “It is totally unacceptable to have such a monster like Adolf Hitler on public display,” he told the Post. “How this could happen is beyond my understanding and comprehension.”

It has to be recognised that the use of Nazi imagery has not got the same emotional impact in South East Asia as it does in Jerusalem and Berlin, in fact, the Thai’s have used swastika’s, images of Hitler and even allowed a Nazi Bar to be opened in Bangkok. (The walls of which were adorned with pictures of storm troopers and waiters dressed in jack boots with Nazi armbands.)

Probably the best was an add campaign for crisps had Hitler giving a Nazi salute and then showed a Thai woman who cast a spell on him as he ate the salted morsels, hoping to change his evil ways. A Nazi swastika morphed into the product logo as the transformation was complete.

That advert did not last long. The Nazi Bar had to change it’s name to “No Name Bar” after the wrath of anti Semitism got involved. And what of the Waxworks… although they apologised it seems that the exposure that Adolf gave them worldwide was worth far more than the original advertising campaign originally envisaged.

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I wonder if the whole thing had been planned that way?

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

One step forward, two steps backward! A "Touching Story"

Laws are in place, Child Protection is among the governments main concerns and despite years of progress Indonesia once again proves that "it don't mean shit"!

As reported in the Jakarta Globe today!

A Central Java court on Tuesday threw out child abuse charges against self-proclaimed Islamic cleric Sheikh Puji over his marriage to a 12-year-old girl.

Ungaran District Court Chief Judge Hari Mulyanto delivered a preliminary ruling in the case stating that the “indictment regarding sexual intercourse is invalid because it is inaccurate, unclear and incomplete.”

A preliminary ruling decides whether a case has met all the requirements to proceed to trial. An inaccurate, unclear and incomplete indictment is sufficient grounds to drop a case.

Hari said the prosecution had failed to detail how and when the defendant had committed the acts for which he had been accused.

Novel Al Bakrie, a member of the defense team, claimed that the 12-year-old girl, who became Puji’s second wife in August 2008, was “not a victim” and that she “loves” Puji.

Puji, 43, whose real name is Pujiantocahyo Widianto, was charged under the Child Protection Law for allegedly “persuading a child to have sex and/or taking advantage of a person’s economic condition for his or her own benefit,” and under the 1974 Marriage Law for marrying a minor.

Prosecutors said they would refile the charges but did not say when this would happen.

Now, the way I see it is that the normal procedure would be to have Social Services (such as they are here), the Police (along with child welfare trained officers) investigate to ensure compliance both the with the National Child Protection Law as well as the four principles of the UN’s Convention on the Rights of the Child which Indonesia has signed.

In a nutshell these are:

1) Non-discrimination.
2) Best interests of the child.
3) The right to live, grow and develop.
4) The right to participate.

So, theoretically although legal protection from exploitation, violence and abuse is in place the onus is now on the Police and Prosecutor to ensure that the case filed which accuses sexual intercourse with a minor must be accurate, clear and complete. In this case, it appears that the hymen stained bedsheet (preferably signed and dated) is required as evidence before the judges would commit to a full trial. It is also worth noting that the Sheik was assisted in this case by a Lawyer who includes Tommy Suharto, (the former president's son)among his clients, thus, it seem's that the big guns were out on display here. (Wonder how much that cost?)

Emm, Err WTF!

Sheik Puji however has a substantial local following, which is thankfully not supported by the moderate Muslim Clerics in Central Java who basically claim that he is a charlatan with no formal religious training and should not be allowed to run the schools he does as he is not recognised in any formal sense as a cleric.

Did the girl's family help, emm, err, not a chance! The Child's father was arrested on charges of "selling his daughter" but suffered a convenient mental breakdown prohibiting him from testifying.His defence was that she had reached puberty and the Koran allows him to accept any proposal for marriage that he deems acceptable.

So there you have it....either a hurdle on the road to full child protection or a dangerous precedent which could set the country back decades!

I know which one I hope it is!

Saturday, 3 October 2009

What can your government do for you?

Taken from today's Jakarta Post online. Not bad considering they had only been on the job for less than 48 hours after inauguration. The new laws that are to be ratified over the next few years should be interesting!

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Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Shake Rattle and Roll

Earthquake season is upon us, three earthquakes in two days in Sumatra with sceptics starting to say that a "biggie" is on it's way! Meanwhile in Sulawesi two earthquakes struck yesterday.

On Wednesday September the 2nd a large 7.3-magnitude earthquake struck West Java, this one caused quite a panic in Jakarta and was quickly followed by two aftershocks, measuring 5.1 and 5.4 within a few hours.

I had been in a watering hole in Kemang (a fashionable suburb of Jakarta as I am told) and never having encountered an earthquake before was at first unsure what was going on.

Was this the fabled flash-backs that Timothy Leary had written about, after effects from 30 years ago while experimenting with psychedelic's, apparently not when I realised that the pictures on the walls were swaying and the floor below me felt like jelly.

Out in the carpark, watching a building site next door I saw the guy from the tower crane which was about 14 stories high perform the quickest emergency evacuation ever while the 6 tons of counterweight on the cranes jib moved dangerously from side to side.

Realising through simple trigonometry that where I was standing was just about where the crane would fall if it were to let loose I decided that perhaps I was safer indoors with a beer rather than exposed to danger in the car park.

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Yesterday's quake in Padang is thought to have killed over a thousand people, but, as has been demonstrated before, this initial number is likely to increase exponentially due to the difficulties in assessing exactly how many people live in any given area.

I really don't think my tinfoil hat will protect me when the next one shakes up on us!

Terrorist my arse!

I don't know why, but, it seems that the government needed to de-construct the myths surrounding Noordin Top, the terrorist mastermind who was killed during a raid in Central Java last month.

Obviously Forensic Scientists were obliged to study the body to ensure that it was in fact him who had been shot, but the latest news has made me question how far a forensic examination will go in search of the truth.

Here is the report!

“There is an anomaly in Noordin’s anus because it is shaped like a funnel,” said Mun’im Idris, a forensic pathologist from the University of Indonesia. “It indicated that somebody had sodomized him.”

Mun’im was part of the team of experts that conducted the autopsy on the body of Noordin, a Malaysian-born terrorist sought for a string of attacks carried out across the country in the name of Islam.

It is unclear why Mun’im released the information. A photograph was released to substantiate this information.

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It appears that this information has caused speculation on Noordin’s “sexual deviance” and it is also thought that there may be a backlash from supporters and extremists within the Muslim community that supported Noordin and his supporters. (I am currently smirking trying to imagine what their protest banners may look like.)

Separately, a national Police spokesman said he had no information about the allegations.

“I haven’t received the report about the anomaly on Noordin’s body because it is not a part of the investigation, however, we always knew he was an arsehole”

It now brings into question as to whether he had met a former Prime Minister while he lived in Malaysia. State sponsored terrorism anyone?

Thursday, 27 August 2009

When is a chicken not a chicken.

The Bugils Group owns a number of good bars here in Jakarta and truth be told I frequent two of them on a regular basis.

I am apparently well known in De Hooi and Eastern Promise, an irregular visitor to Cazbar but, unknown in the One Tree bar in Block M.

Block M, or more specifically Jalan Faletehan, the street One Tree Bar and many others are situated in has a reputation for friendliness which can be purchased, the purveyors of such affection are known as "Ayam" (Chickens) and they contribute a great deal to the street's popularity.

One Tree Bar has until now been Ayam free but, it appears that may no longer be the case. The bars latest promotion had me scratching my head......

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However, in fairness they do operate under an equal opportunities programme which forbids sexual discrimination. I am sure that Monday nights in One Tree must be a delight for us straights and rugmunchers alike!

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Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Poaching for beginners

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Poaching has never been so easy. No need to get into the jungle, set traps, avoid conservation officers or any of the real “poaching stuff” .

The new method is simple, a bit like buying a TV Dinner instead of cooking, the cunning plan, get your animal fresh from the zoo.

Police in the believe that it was an inside job questioned the vet and five other workers from the Taman Rimbo zoo in the town of Jambi in Sumatra after its Sumatran tiger was killed early on Saturday.

Detectives suspected the thieves poisoned the female tiger, and slaughtered her in the wee hours when the zoo was almost unguarded.

The police found remnants of meat bait that contained anaesthetics and intestinal parts of the protected animal in her cage. It was also thought that the tigress did not attack as she knew the intruders.

It appears that the cage had been left unlocked to allow zoo workers to feed the tiger, which had been settled in the zoo for 20 years since its birth at Ragunan zoo in Jakarta.

Obviously the recession is biting deep in Sumatra......