Friday 29 May 2009

Marketing - Indo Style

Just when I thought...

Yup, I've said it before but, Indonesian marketing tactics often leave a lot more questions to be answered than in the west.

Take these guys......

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.I always considered Strepsils as medicine, however, it seems that they are trying to preserve their market. Keep a smoker smoking and he will continually need medication for his sore throat! Ah..Indonesia strikes again





Thursday 28 May 2009

The Country that Cares

That's it, just as I was almost convinced that thing's were settling down and calmness had re-entered the parliament, news of the latest fuckwittery hit the streets!

Jakarta is not renowned for being pedestrian friendly, in fact the pavements are normally understood to be an overspill for motorbikes and food vendors. The initiative that has been most discussed recently has been road safety and clearing the pavements of hazards and much emphasis on this subject has been made in the media.

Not to be left out, the parliament  came up with this "doosie" which further undermines their credibility..... 

"Disabled pedestrians in Indonesia are required to wear signs identifying them as handicapped under new traffic regulations passed unanimously by parliament.

Amendments to the Traffic and Transport Law passed today state "handicapped pedestrians must wear special and clear signs which can be easily recognised by other road users".

The lawmaker in charge of the committee which drafted the amendments, Ahmad Muqowam of the Islam-based United Development Party, said they were designed to protect disabled people from road accidents.

"This is a humanistic act. It's for their safety on the streets," he said.

Asked what the signs should read or where people should wear them, he said this was up to the Government to decide at a later date.

"All technical things will be explained later in Government regulations," he said.

"They won't be penalised if they flout the rule; it's only a precaution for their safety," he added.

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I no longer know whether to laugh or cry, the fact that legislation like this can be passed at such a high level worries me intensely. 

As an afterthought, why don't they pass a law that ensures the Lawmakers are obliged to wear signs with their IQ level clearly marked... at least one would know who to blame for the next set of nonsensical rules that they approve!

Saturday 23 May 2009

Sinful Social Networking (The Poke stops here)


They are at it again!
The Nahdlatul Ulama (NU) possibly the most influential bunch of f*ckwits in the country have once again called for a ban on - wait for it - Facebook
An NU spokesman Abdul Muid Shohib said:
"Communication using mobile phones was prone to adultery, especially between the sexes."
So, it seems that adultery with the same sex seems less pernicious,  or is that me just jumping to the wrong conclusion.
He continues.... various quotes here were published by the Jakarta Post.
"The only communication allowed between different sexes is that which spreads Islamic teachings, he said.
"We have banned social networking such as Facebook, Friendster and others because they are not used to spread Islamic teachings, but for gossiping," 
"The edict is to warn Indonesian Muslims, because many of them including our students are using Facebook and Friendster. We are very concerned that cyber pornography is infiltrating these networks."
"If nothing changes in a month, we'll demand the government block access to Facebook, Friendster and other networks."
Ironically, the Big Brother of the NU, also prone to issuing nonsensical edicts, the Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) were asked about the same issue and their influential East Java head Abdussomad Buchori acknowledged he had no idea about online social networking, but would support the edict if it prevented adultery.
"The MUI would never ban Internet use provided it is for learning or information seeking purposes."
This kind of posturing both amuses and annoy's me in equal measure. These are the same people who have made statements such as:
On Homosexuality...
"It's a curable disorder. There have been many cases where homosexuals have realized what they did was wrong and became heterosexuals again. It's something that can be fought off."

On female Circumcision:
"said that his august organisation had no problems with female circumcision, because it was a duty for Muslims, was safe and did not cause any health problems for those who underwent it."

On Anti-Sin legislation
"would be along the lines of similar laws in Tangerang but more comprehensive, covering all sorts of sinful activities that Jakartans are prone to indulging in."

On Yoga:
“If there is chanting incorporated in the exercise, that needs to be looked into as it is syirik (against the religion) when a Muslim worships gods other than Allah,”

Keep's getting better and better here, cannot wait for whats next!


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Saturday 16 May 2009

Crisis? What Crisis? We are Baduy!

A friend of mine (Hello Rick) is one of those (at least in my mind) odd ball chaps who fucks off cycling through jungles for the weekend. He plans his trips meticulously and tracks the routes with his GPS which then renders everything onto Google Maps displaying the journey and terrain.

Revcently over a beer in the famed De Hooi (everything sort of goes pear shaped after a few in there) he told me about a relatively stone age tribe living less than 100 miles from Jakarta.

Intrigued, I started to read up about them and discovered this article on the net, unfortunately I have forgotten where, but I wont put the usual spin on it....better posted as is!  (Whoever it was that wrote it, my apologies for not being able to give you full credit)
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An animistic tribe dwelling high in the abundant hills of western Java lives oblivious to the world economic crisis. Estimated to include somewhere between 5,000-8,000 people, the Baduy are an anomaly. While their tribal lands are located only 75 miles from the Indonesian capital of Jakarta, the Baduy live in almost total seclusion from the modern world, observing customs that forbid soap, wearing shoes and driving vehicles.


Villagers stare blankly when asked about world events. 


"I don't understand about any crisis," a young mother named Salina told Reuters, when asked about the economic turmoil that has caused the rupiah to lose nearly a quarter of its value this year.


Within a 20 square mile area in the shadow of Mt. Kendeng, the Baduy people cling to their reclusive lifestyle despite the temptations of the modern world that so closely surrounds them.


Although their origin is unknown, some anthropologists believe the Baduy are descendents of the West Java Hindu kingdom of Pajajaran, and fled to the limestone hills where they now live after resisting conversion to Islam in the 16th century.


The Baduy, along with many others in western Java, speak an archaic version of Sudanese. Their beliefs are a blend of ancient Hinduism and animism. The tribe believes their homeland of Pancer Bumi is the center of the world, and that they were the first people on the planet who must follow stringent rules to prevent disaster from striking.


Renowned for their mystical powers, Baduy leaders, known as pu'un, conduct rituals in a clandestine place called Arca Domas.  The secret spot is surrounded by megaliths to please ancestral spirits and gods.


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While their way of life appears primitive, experts who have studied the tribe’s farming methods say they are well adjusted to their environment. For instance, metal hoes are forbidden when cultivating rice in order to prevent soil erosion.


Nevertheless, the strict rules under which the Baduy live often seem to make their lives hard.  Among the things forbidden are glass, alcohol, footwear, formal education, diverting water and rearing four-legged animals.


"There is no education. Going to the field is an education for them," said University of Indonesia anthropologist Boedhihartono, who has studied the Baduy for years.


Their society is divided into an outer zone of villages and an inner area of just three villages. Those who break the rules are banished to the outer region and must wear black, while the roughly 40 families in the sacred inner zone dress in white and follow the Baduy traditions much more strictly.


Reaching the Baduy requires hard trekking along slippery routes in plunging valleys.  Foreigners are permitted to visit the outer zone for up to a few nights, and must sleep on bamboo mats in villages pitch black at night due to a lack of power.  It is close to impossible for non-Indonesians to visit the inner villages.


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The outer area acts as a buffer zone, with inner zone leaders sometimes paying surprise visits to ensure their outer zone compatriots are not breaking the rules. Radios and other items deemed as modern world pollutants are sometimes confiscated.


The villages are tranquil habitats, suffering none of the noise and pollution from motorbikes and buses common in most parts of Indonesia.


However, it is difficult to maintain isolation from the modern world, and the use of forbidden money has sometimes replaced bartering with the outside world.


Baduy in the outer zone sell sarongs and also travel to neighboring towns to sell honey and palm sugar. The cash is then used to purchase salted fish and other items the Baduy can't make themselves.


"Even in the center they already know money," said Boedhihartono, who has developed a friendship with the tribe over the years.


He keeps a room free at his Jakarta home for occasions when the Baduy, who are forbidden from using transport, make unannounced visits after a three-day bare-foot trek.


Boedhihartono said the Baduy do not have much knowledge of the outside world, “except if they come to my house they watch the TV."


Although the Baduy are supposed to shun modern medicine, Boedhihartono said antibiotics had helped sharply increase the number of Baduy.


The main threats the tribe faces are from outsiders trying to plunder their land, he said, and proselytizing by some Muslim groups.


The Baduy have not been immune to all outside influences, such as circumcision, which is in keeping with local Muslim practices.


Historically, the Baduy have been left to their own devices by colonizers from the Dutch to the Japanese, although authorities have at times tried to include the tribe in mainstream society.


When Indonesia's long-time powerful president Suharto tried to impose development on the Baduy during the 1980s, the tribe sent an emissary to plead to be left alone.  A deeply superstitious man with a weakness for Javanese mysticism, Suharto conceded and made arrangements for the Baduy to establish their own territory to protect them from outside influence.


 My personal opinion here is that it's a shame that these people probably will lose their cultural identity, but, it was sort of mind boggling to discover that this was virtualy on my back door step. 

Indonesia never fails to surprise me.!!!

Going Apeshit

Jakarta’s Ragunan Zoo has a large primate area, within which, among Monkey’s and Orang Utang live three male gorillas, Kumbo, Kihi and Komum. A comfortable area is afforded them, privacy if they wish it, however, they have been diagnosed with a problem which, it seems is raising more than a concerned eyebrow.

To put it plainly they are fucking horny!

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Feeding them shedfulls of fruit and vegetables has them gaining weight and not helping their tempers any!

The Jakarta Post reported

But a big, fat hairy solution is on the way - in the shape of a female mate to ease their loneliness, once the zoo has built an enclosure and the zookeepers are fully trained


"We concluded it was time for them to mate because they have grown into young adults. And are still virgins," said a Zoo Spokesman.


Howletts Wild Animal Park in the United Kingdom, where the three boys came from, has agreed to send a female in exchange for 12 Indonesian primates.


Ten have already been sent, with the other two to be flown over once the female gorilla arrives in town.


"We do not know her name or age yet. But she should be around seven to eight years old, the age of maturity for a female gorilla," Bambang said, adding it was not certain when the lovely lady would arrive.


The zoo plans to let her mate naturally with the boys, who are now on strict diets to overcome their weight issues.


Kumbo, who at 13 is the eldest and the most aggressive, will score the first date.

Nobody paid that much attention to me as I was growing up with three brothers!

Friday 15 May 2009

Bollockings

I know, I know! I've had two bollockings about not posting within 24 hours. Promise I'll fix this over the weekend!

Bugger that just now, there is beer to be drunk!